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You may know Kevin McCullough as that guy who has a talk radio show with Stephen Baldwin that’s heard around the country — mostly in places you’ve never heard of (Morehead, KY? Why yes, please. Where my Morehead-heads at?), or as the pro-machismo activist who maintained a blog called “Musclehead Revolution.” Or perhaps you more clearly remember him as the Townhall columnist who declared that gays are “broodish animals,” that “liberals prefer perversion,” and who holds the record for discharging the most “aptly named World O’Crap” retorts in a single, sputtering post.

Kevin also memorably observed that “President Barack Obama is still just a lost boy,” who is “dangerously heaping hot coals of consequence on the heads of those who know better.” But worst of all, “Obama is not a strong leader…And his unwillingness to admit that the world is facing a crossroads of strength through force now, or humiliation and pain through attack in days to come is a demonstration of his paralysis in the most important question of our time.”

That question, of course, is:

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Still, for all Obama being a “lost boy” and a dangerous hot coal-heaper, things have worked out marginally better than Kevin’s 2007 prediction that eight American cities would be nuked two weeks after the 2008 election, because of the “the cowardly actions of those who refuse to answer even simple questions on talk radio shows.”

Forked-Tongue-In-Chief at West Point

The most accurate definition of one who is “forked tongue” is not someone who directly disputes himself, but rather one who says something with such cloud that two completely different things could be intended or received, said vs. heard, meant while misleading.

I freely confess, I’ve often been guilty of this myself. Back in the day, I spoke with such cloud you wouldn’t believe, but eventually saw the light, and nowadays — as I think most people who know me would agree — I talk with minimal nimbus.

Liberals have generally been forced to practice such a verbal dance because no one would elect them outright if they said what they intended, and did what they believed.

Which is ironic, when you consider that what Obama said during the campaign turned out to be considerably more liberal than what he’s done since taking office. Which is probably why he lost the election.

In modern history when it comes to forked-tongue-ness President Barack Obama excels well beyond anyone’s imagination. Like most of his foreign policy speeches on American national security, his commencement address to the cadets at West Point on Saturday proves my point.

Sit back and relax while Kevin proves the virtues of the unitary, non-tined tongue.

In a disturbing trend he chose to place absolute belief in certain global institutions in the speech, but he has consistently believed less than he should about America, her fighting men and women, and the just causes they are sent in to.

In to…do what? And just how much should you consistently believe about America? Well, according to Martha Stewart, it’s 1 1/4 cups, unless you’re using high altitude baking directions.

Somehow international leaders who are not vested in America’s well being are to be believed as gospel, yet America is to be viewed with suspicion and contempt. It is an odd paradox that he lives with within himself. Even keeping it to himself would be fine. Letting it spill into the mainstream is another matter entirely, and taking it to the West Point graduates is simply uncalled for.

That’s a paragraph so chunky you can say it with a fork-tongue — but use a spoon-tongue, because you’ll want to get every drop of bullshit.

On Saturday President Fork-Tongue spoke of his intent to shape a new “international order” as it pertained to a strategy to keep America secure. Implying in his speech that America should not claim the mantle, nor the right of self-protection or self-responsibility. He also referred to America’s minimal role in “promoting democratic values around the world.”

Except he actually didn’t, since that quote doesn’t appear in the text of Obama’s speech. I don’t want to accuse Kevin of “directly disput[ing] himself,” or speaking with cloud, but he is, at best, a bit of a spork-tongue.

Sayeth The One

I can’t believe you guys are still sayething “The One.” Hasn’t the button popped up on that particular jar of Cling peaches by now? And why is it always delivered in this faux King Jamesian locution? It’s like insisting on calling Willie Mays the Sayeth Hey Kid.

Instead of countering violent terrorists, he’s permitted them to commit attacks against U.S. citizens on American soil six times since his inauguration.

What did he do — issue them a hall pass? “I’m sorry sir, but I’m going to have to place you under arrest for carrying a bomb onto a plane. What’s that? Oh, I see — you’ve got the piece of wood with the bathroom key attached. My mistake sir, have a good flight.”

The fact that panty-boy and the Times’ Square bomber got nothing more than smoke from their ignitions doesn’t mean that both attacks were not a severe danger to thousands of American lives.

I think Kevin’s keen interest in President Fork-Tongue and Pantyboy means that his heart isn’t really in political commentary, and his first, best destiny remains superhero slash fiction using his own made-up characters to avoid a cease-and-desist letter from DC.

Instead of stopping the spread of nuclear weapons he’s made every overture to Iran that he will do nothing to prevent them from gaining them. He’s even gone so far as attempting to muzzle other nations who will suffer an even greater direct threat from a nuclear Iran.

Instead of combating the false claims of the global warming propagandists who got caught by their own admissions in the lies, the cover ups, and the inaccuracies they had promoted, Obama went before the American people and mocked any who did not hold the lies to be truth.

Instead of sustaining global growth, his policies of propping up companies that should’ve been allowed to correct on their own or fizzle out all together have actually worsened the outlook for the average American, the American markets, and by extension the global economy.

You know what, Kevin? Fork you.

Later in his address to the West Point class of 2010 Obama said, “America has not succeeded by stepping outside the currents of international cooperation… but by steering those currents in the direction of liberty and justice.”

The President is either woefully ignorant of America’s contribution to history, or he is being purposefully misrepresentative in such a statement.

To be clear, America has more often than not primarily succeeded by stepping outside the currents of international cooperation, leading the charge to form new coalitions

Granted, leading a “coalition” of nations certainly sounds like it would entail “international cooperation,” but these were special, back-stabbing coalitions, made up of countries who hate us and look for any opportunity to frustrate and sabotage our efforts. And that, my friend, is how you primarily succeed in this world. Tell your friends. Then kick them in the balls, and tell ‘em George W. Bush sent you.

…and when necessary going it alone out of a resolve to do so because of the moral demands placed upon us as the greatest nation on this planet.

While we cooperated internationally in the Second Opium War, the Boxer Rebellion, our intervention in the Russian Civil War, World Wars I and II, the Korean War, and even Viet Nam, we did go it alone in the morally demanding Mexican-American War, the Spanish-American War, the Philippine Insurrection, and our countless Indian wars and Latin American occupations — pretty much any conflict in which we saw an opportunity to rape and pillage another country for land and resources. And morality.

From the American Revolution to the liberation of Afghanistan and Iraq there were moments before us at every point that would tell us to “not get involved” to “let the rest of the world deal with it.”

But we’d elected a dry drunk with severe Daddy issues and a sociopathic enabler, so that wasn’t really an option.

Yet when those same nations fell at the hands of tyranny, despotism, and economic and religious enslavement - it was to the United States that they turned.

Like Iran, in 1953, or Chile in 1973. Those people were just damned lucky we picked up the phone.

Because President Obama is a liberal he cannot simply come out and say what he wishes he could, for if he did, he would be impeached. But behind the mask of attempting to sound moderate, reasonable, clean and articulate (Biden’s favorite qualities) lies a shadow of his meaning that may sound like something on the surface and to most ears who hear, but mean something completely different to the President himself.

I think there might be something wrong with my eyes who read, because I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.

He is misguided at best, or a deceptive traitor at worst…

If only he’d drop the mask of attempting to sound clean. Then we’d have him!

18 Responses to “Greasy Spoon”

Nope, I’m afraid that you give us too much credit. Our participation in the Boxer rebellion and the intervention in Russia were both part of glorious coalitions (of freedom loving capitalist states).

one who says something with such cloud

Is this the Smoke Monster I’ve been hearing so much about?

Liberals have generally been forced to practice such a verbal dance

So many levels of innuendo here, especially for a guy who goes under the nym “Musclehead” from “Morehead”.

In a disturbing trend he chose to place absolute belief in certain global institutions in the speech, but he has consistently believed less than he should about America, her fighting men and women, and the just causes they are sent in to.

As evidenced by the fact he keeps sending more of them over to fight in the faint hope that some crew will finally get it right.

On Saturday President Fork-Tongue spoke of his intent to shape a new “international order” as it pertained to a strategy to keep America secure. Implying in his speech that America should not claim the mantle, nor the right of self-protection or self-responsibility.

Fucking idiot.

Obama said the US “should not shoulder the burden alone,” meaning that we’ll take responsibility for our security and protection but must also enlist allies to help. This, I’m told, is the basis of any nation who wishes to maintain its peace, prosperity and sovereignty.

Unless of course he believes we should abandon NATO, in which case…

…This fuckhead ought to return whatever degree above preschool he purchased at Sears for a discount on a new set of tires.

Instead of countering violent terrorists, he’s permitted them to commit attacks against U.S. citizens on American soil six times since his inauguration.

He forgot the conservative nutcase who shot a couple of police officers in Arkansas last week. If we include the militia-heirs, we’re talking about an even dozen, and if we include anti-abortion terror, we’re looking at nearly fifty.

Later in his address to the West Point class of 2010 Obama said, “America has not succeeded by stepping outside the currents of international cooperation… but by steering those currents in the direction of liberty and justice.”

The President is either woefully ignorant of America’s contribution to history, or he is being purposefully misrepresentative in such a statement.

Apparently, Musclebound here thinks he’s the President.

Sheesh. This guy’s a loser, Scott. Hardly worth the snark.

Swank had better watch his back. Not with his eyes who see, ’cause that could be painful and awkward. But really, McCullough could be a contender. Jeepers, I never thought I’d think the thought “I’m on Team Swank!”

…yet America Kevin McCullough is to be viewed with suspicion and contempt.

Fixxord

I feel guilty about always snarking on these folks’ appearance, but this guy’s photo reminds me of a perverted, drunken uncle.

Gotta tell you, Scott, I’m really not feeling it from some of these wingnuts. McCullough really phoned this one in. What happened to the faux-tough guy, kick-everyone’s-ass-and-order-pizza shtick? This column just felt really generic, like some bush league conservative blogger’s first Townhall column.

I think that some of these guys realized that you can get the same quality wingnuttery in generic teabagger form for less. True, you’re more likely to find an irregular stupid argument, but it’s so cheap that you can just get more.

What happened to the faux-tough guy, kick-everyone’s-ass-and-order-pizza shtick?

His “FABUlous” side took over*

* click any of Scott’s opening links if you need a reminder.

He fell in love with his gay pizza-delivery guy?

Lawguy: Yep, you’re right — thanks! (I think I meant those two to go in the coalition column, but apparently I need an occasional, embarrassing reminder not to post in the middle of the night).

D Johnston: You’re probably right. In Kevin’s case, his personal shtick (or at least, the motto of his radio show) is “Everything in life, through the lens of common sense…” Which doesn’t prevent him from throwing together a column out of long debunked wingnut calumnies and tin-eared attempts at soaring rhetoric; but he is obliged, when delivering it, to use his inside voice.

Someone ask Kevin if “Death Comes to Town” will be American TV soon? Also, man, that Death costume. What’d they promise him to get him to agree to that? Dave Foley must have Jedi-mind-whammy powers of persuasion.

I talk with minimal nimbus.

Yeah but you still spout some puffy cumulus.

It’s OK, we still love you.

And as far as Mr. McCullough goes, I’m confused (I know, that wasn’t hard). But are rabid rightwingers supposed to be Libertarian-isolationist (one of those Libertarian positions I can somewhat support), or are they supposed to be running around the world kicking everyone’s ass whether deserved or not?

Liberals won two world wars. Cons beat Grenada and Panama.

but he is, at best, a bit of a spork-tongue.

well, technically a “runciblesh*t spoon”

well, technically a “runciblesh*t spoon”

Which is about as close as he’ll ever get to being laid(led).

Best spit-take you’ve ever induced, Scott, at the sight of Kevin’s mug as the website came up.

I was hoping to learn that he was the headmaster emeritus of a secluded private school for the children of Midwich, England, but no such luck: he’s just a wingnut.

Rats.

But he’s a really good wingnut!

Dunno, Chris. I just assumed Rob Corddry was doing meth.

Something to say?