Via RushLimbaugh.com Home, here’s Canada’s answer to Peggy Noonan, Crazy Judi McLeod, with ”Being Rush Limbaugh“:
The whole world, it seems is into Viagra.
The romantic days of Rudolph Valentino and his dark eyes to swoon for are ghosts of the past. The days of being old at 40 have come to stay.
I guess what Judi is trying to say is that things were better in her day (the 1920s), because back then, men had the decency to die young, and so they never needed impotency drugs.
With everybody on Viagra, who wants to kiss and tell?
Tittering tattletales at international airports, when they catch radio giant Rush Limbaugh, that’s who.
Caught with “Cialis Levitra” in his luggage on the way back from the Dominican Republic at Palm Beach International Airport, held for three hours but never charged, Mr. Rush got rushed into the news by smarmy little guys who get to take their Viagra secrets all the way to the grave.
Yes, anybody who said anything about Rush’s latest violation of the state’s drug laws is small, smarmy, and a secret user of Viagra. It’s the old “It takes one to know one” law.
As Radio’s number one personality, Rush didn’t think to hide his Viagra pills in an aspirin tin, like his detractors surely would have done.
I personally hide my Viagra in my maid’s Oxycontin tin, because I believe no one would think of looking there.
But Judi is right about one thing: as “Radio’s” biggest “personality,” Rush thought he was above the law — and it’s a sad commentary on modern society that he was wrong about this.
An icon of the right, lefties would be gunning for the great Rush everywhere, even when he was in back-from-vacation relax mode.
It’s wrong, WRONG of lefties to gun for the great Rush when he was in back-from-the-sex-tour-post-coital relax mode.
For the tell-it-all enemy, Rush is big game.
It’s not as if a Hillary Clinton or a Nancy Pelosi could sneak his diary off a bedside table, where Rush only keeps copies of the Bible and books like Help! Mom! There’s a Liberal Under My Bed! And Rush doesn’t wear a toupee.
Judi has documentary evidence that Hillary and Nancy have tried many a time to sneak Rush’s diary off his bedside table, but were foiled by the fact that Rush is functionally illiterate, and doesn’t have any hair.
They wouldn’t dare to make fun of his hearing problems. That would be too politically incorrect.
Opiate-induced hearing loss is one of the PC-movement’s most sacred of cows.
Straight as the proverbial arrow, and rumoured to be even something of a womanizer, there’s not much gossip in the romantic department about Rush Limbaugh, no blue dress stuff.
Here’s my best translation of the above: “Sure, Rush may be a dirty, old horndog, but at least he’s not gay, like Bill Clinton, who used to wear Monica’s blue dress when she wasn’t looking.”
Skeletons in Rushes’ closet don’t get to hang in the back with the musty clothes; they’re dragged out to dance happy jigs on the blogosphere.
If airport authorities had clocked any other Romeo with Viagra in their luggage, there would be no news to leak.
But Rush Limbaugh is “that capitalist pig Rush Limbaugh”.
Yes, the news media hate Rush because he’s a capitalist, and therefore one of their sworn enemies.
Judi, Judi, Judi, you ignorant slutt. Did you miss the part where the blogosphere was calling him not a capitalist pig, but “that drug-addicted hypocrite, Rush Limbaugh”? The Internet works even in Canada, Judy.
So the guy who coined the term “FemiNazis” would be open game for politically correct malcontents.
Lefties and their running dogs would go to most any length to embarrass Limbaugh. How many of their heroes smile at you from behind their latest dose of Botox?
Botox prescribed for somebody else’s face, even!!!
So Rush Limbaugh had a bottle of Viagra apparently prescribed to someone else in his socks and bvds.
The drugs were hidden in his briefs and socks? How does Judi know this detail?
(But yeah, so what if the drug was prescribed for somebody else? It’s not like we should expect a womanizing straight arrow like Rush to get his own sex drugs.)
He later joked on his popular radio show that the pills came from the Clinton Library and he was told they were blue M&Ms.
It’s funny because Bill Clinton was caught will illegal Viagra in his possession ALL THE TIME!
Meanwhile, we don’t know what Viagra’s done for Rush Limbaugh, but we do know what Rush has done for Viagra. Now that Rush has been caught with it, Viagra sales are bound to soar.
Because all women want Rush, and all men want to be like him (sweaty, pudgy, impotent, and unappealing). Like I said before (in a post that the forces of capitalism made me delete), Rush IS the prototypical Viagra user, and no doubt Pfizer will soon be paying him several million a year to endorse their product.
There goes Rush Limbaugh, a capitalist even when coming off vacation.
It really was nice of him to spare a thought for the pharmaceutical industry at a time like that, even though their product apparently didn’t work all that well for him, since he was returning with 29 pills. Buy hey, the working girls of the Dominican Republic probably thanked him for his support of capitalism too, even if he couldn’t seal the deal.