Sure, they ferry other Mormons to Disneyland in muti-passenger stretch vans, but they do so much more…
They shoot you with paint pellets. And keep your sealed containers of crisis seeds and irradiated survivalist MREs in a cool, dry place. And teach you to play the violin and form a band. Or maybe they store your violin (probably in the pantry, or vegetable crisper); or shoot your band with splatballs — that part of the manifesto is a little vague..
The important thing is, they do all this while reminding you that family — even your crappy family — still matters.
(h/t to PJ)