• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!



    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

Archive for October 1st, 2008

Sarah Six-Pack

Posted by s.z. on October 1st, 2008

For Sarah Palin’s first radio interview  since becoming the Republican candidate for Vice President, the McCain committee needed to find an interviewer who was nothing like the brutal Katie “the Impaler” Couric.  So, they chose Hugh Hewitt, the heavyweight of talk radio (Mister Rogers not being available). 

Here are some portions of this hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners interrogation: Sarah Palin: “I Know What Americans Are Going Through”.

Hugh Hewitt: Governor, your candidacy has ignited extreme hostility, even some hatred on the left and in some parts of the media. Are you surprised? And what do you attribute this reaction to?

Sarah Palin: I think they’re just not used to someone coming in from the outside saying, “You know what? It’s time that normal Joe six-pack American is finally represented in the position of vice presidency.” I think that that’s kind of taken some people off guard, and they’re out of sorts, and they’re ticked off about it, but it’s motivation for John McCain and I to work that much harder to make sure that our ticket is victorious, and we put government back on the side of the people of Joe six-pack like me, and we start doing those things that are expected of our government, and we get rid of corruption, and we commit to the reform that is not only desired, but is deserved by Americans.

Say, maybe it IS time for regular, ol’ Joe Six-Pack American to be the Vice President.  Heck, my Budwieser swilling, NASCAR-watching, shotgun toting neighbors don’t know much about the economy, foreign policy, Supreme Court decisions, etc. so why should Sarah have to?  Maybe it is elitist to expect the second highest position in the land to go to somebody with a little more experience, education, and aptitude than the rest of us.  In fact, here’s my suggestion for a new campaign slogan: “Vote for Sarah Six-Pack, Because You’re No Rocket Scientist Either.”

Hewitt: Now governor, the Gibson and the Couric interview struck many as sort of pop quizzes designed to embarrass you as opposed to interviews. Do you share that opinion?

Palin:  Well, I have a degree in journalism also, so it surprises me that so much has changed since I received my education in journalistic ethics all those years ago. But I’m not going to pick a fight with those who buy ink by the barrelful. I’m going to take those shots and those pop quizzes and just say, “That’s okay.”

Translation: “I am just as journalistically qualified as Katie, but I’m not an unethical bitch like she is.  And even though I failed those pop quizzes, I will still pass the class, because I get extra-credit points for keeping Russia from invading America while I was Governor.”

Hewitt: Governor, you mentioned the people who are struggling right now. Have you and your husband, Todd, ever faced tough economic times where you had to sit around a kitchen table and make tough choices?

Palin:  Oh my goodness, yes, Hugh. I know what Americans are going through. Todd and I—heck, we’re going through that right now even as we speak, which may put me again kind of on the outs of those Washington elite who don’t like the idea of just an everyday working class American running for such an office.

I’m sure the Illuminati and the Tri-lateral Commission are really annoyed that a common blue-collar weather girl like Sarah has the effrontery to run for VP, and they are undoubtedly gnashing their teeth at her presumption.  But what I want to know is what tough economic choices Sarah and her husband were making even as she spoke to Hugh Hewitt.  Doesn’t Alaska pay its Governor at least minimum wage, thus forcing Sarah to decide which kid didn’t get dinner that night?  Were Sarah and Todd contemplating which organs to sell in order to be able to buy soft drinks while riding on Air Force One?  With Sarah being on the campaign trail and thus not able to shoot food to put on her family, were she and the First Dude deciding whether or not to send the young ones out to roll drunks in order to survive? 

I hope that we get the answers to some of these questions during Sarah’s next interview, which will reportedly be with the blood-thirsty “Fox and Friends” hit squad.