I popped into NRO’s The Corner a few minutes ago, just to see if they were waxing wroth about middle class communism and the ever-increasing acreage of anti-American America, and found the joint fairly dead, except for NR editor and former Bush speech writer Jay Nordlinger, who was pacing around, cranking out post after consecutive post, and arguing with himself like Anthony Perkins in Psycho. First, he treats us to an account of his evening at the cinema, but wanders off-topic midway through when he begins to hallucinate that his neighbors are reptiles:
What’s in a Hiss? [Jay Nordlinger]
Had a funny moment last night — and it has to do with hissing. I’ve written on this subject: The Left hisses. I first noticed it when I was a kid growing up in Ann Arbor. Horrible, sinister sound — snake-like. Anyway, was in a movie theater on the Upper West Side (Manhattan). And a preview of Oliver Stone’s movie W. came on. And the hissing was kind of strange — sort of tentative hissing. Because they were hissing the president, of course — they had to do that. But they were aware it was an Oliver Stone movie, too – and Stone is good in their theology. So, they were unsure whether to hiss or not. They wanted to hiss the subject of the film, but not the film itself. You know? It was the most unusual hissing I have ever heard.
I’ve occasionally wondered what would drive someone to write for the NRO when there are many more respectable and lucrative forms of online porn that are equally hungry for content. And if we are going to judge the matter by Jay, it’s clear the motivating force is some sort of psychopathy; but I have to give him credit for a remarkably genial and phlegmatic brand of dementia, since he seems less horrified than bemused by the prospect of sharing the Upper West Side with a race of bipedal reptiles who communicate their socialist agenda entirely with sibilance.
Fifteen minutes later, Jay was visited by a much more congenial delusion:
A Vote from (Way) Up North [Jay Nordlinger]
Had lunch with a couple who had just been to a law-school reunion in California (Stanford). They met a classmate who, immediately after law school, moved to Fairbanks and has practiced there ever since. The inevitable question: “What do you think of your governor?” The answer, “Oh, we love her — everyone in Alaska does. Everything she says and does is right. And, I tell you: If she ever came up against Putin, he’d fall before her. She’s tough as nails. There’s steel beneath the attractive warmth.” Yup. I hope she goes far, far. And the campaign of hate and vilification against her has been one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed in American public life.
Yes, it’s one thing for Bull Connor to turn police dogs and fire hoses on non-violent protesters, but the MSM sought to destroy the Republican Party by letting Katie Couric off the leash! Fortunately, there was no harm done, as the Alaska governor is made of liquid metal.
Your Papers, Please [Jay Nordlinger]
Have a friend who was in Riverside Park (Manhattan) with his baby daughter. A woman came up to him and said, “Are you a registered Democrat?” He said no. She said, “Well, you can register right now — it will just take a second. I have the necessary paperwork here.” He said, “No, actually, that’s not it — I am registered. It’s just that I’m a registered Republican.” He said that the woman gave him a look of hate such as he had seldom seen — sent a shudder down his spine. She walked away, still glaring, bitterly, without a word.
Now I want to believe Jay — he hasn’t lied to us yet, has he? — and on the surface, this story certainly sounds plausible, because after all, haven’t we all been accosted in a park by bitter voting registration activists who glare at us and seethe with silent hatred? But the thing is, if the woman was really a Leftist, wouldn’t she have hissed? I’d find this anecdote a lot easier to swallow if she’d said, “Well you can regissssssster right now — it will jussssst take a sssssecond. I have the necesssssssary paperwork…” and then maybe smelled him with her tongue. I mean, to hear Jay’s friend tell it, you’d scarcely believe she was hiding scales underneath her latex face.
Now, the thing is, my friend’s not very political at all — he’s not like me and the rest of us NRO-niks. He just has a nice career (unrelated to politics), and a nice family, loves to play golf, likes to go to the movies, and goes about his business. And he thought, “Shouldn’t she simply have been pleased that I was registered? Isn’t political participation and good citizenship what it’s all about?”
Oh, no, no, my friend — not by a long shot. Come the revolution, you will understand. And that lady will give you a good long time in a camp to think about it.
On the bright side, I hear they’ll be serving honey-glazed chicken with whole wheat pita and your choice of fruit in the camp. Plus, if you’re an Autumn, those orange jumpsuits will flatter your natural coloring.