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Archive for October 2nd, 2008

Joe Biden Vs Tracy Flick

Posted by s.z. on October 2nd, 2008

Well, the debate just finished, and here are my first thoughts on the whole thing:

1.  Joe Biden did a great job – better than I expected.  (Minor quibble: I wish that he and Palin would stipuate that they are BOTH regular folks who come from regular towns where regular people work for a living, so we don’t have to hear any more about what Bob at the Scranton Home Depot or Bruce at the Yak Junction moose-punching contest think about the economy.)

Biden made some very good points about the war, insurance, global warming, etc.   He answered the questions that were asked (unlike Sarah) , and rebutted Sarah’s attacks without seeming to get annoyed with her.

2.  Sarah Palin was very annoying.  She probably did better than expected, in that she didn’t take out her rifle and shoot her opponent or the moderator, but she didn’t come across as likeable or appealing, but rather as arrogant, pushy, uninformed, and perfectly content to remain uninformed, as she finds knowledge highly overrated.  (As others have noted, she seems to share a lot of character traits with George W. Bush.)  She had some obviously memorized talking points (“Obama voted for bills about war and taxes and stuff 157 times, and that proves that he is a liberal who wants our troops to die, and who wants to take Castro to lunch on YOUR tax dollars”) that she kept using even if they weren’t applicable to the topic at hand, and even if they were discredited by Biden.  I guess her handlers told her that the best defense is a vigerous if delusional offense, but this tactic made her seem woefully unprepared to work with actual grownups on the business of governing.

And when it was stated that she hadn’t answered the question, her reply was something like, “I may not answer the question the way you or the moderator like, but the rules don’t apply to me because I’m a maverick, so instead I will mention several times that I was a small-town mayor, a small-business owner, and a soccer mom, and those jobs require skills that are directly transferable to being the VP, in that they all involve making decisions, getting stuff done, and bossing people around .  Also, I am the governor of a really big state, if you only consider land mass, which I personally turned into an energy-producing one by shooting the evil energy barons who were keeping all that oil for themselves.  Most importantly, I am a regular blue-collar, illiterate Joe Six-Pack like all the voters out there who follow presidential debates. And did I mention ‘energy’?  Energy, energy, energy!  And the main reason you should vote for me is that I don’t really know anything, and therefore will bring enthusiastic ignorance to all I do.”

Oh, and when asked if she agreed with Dick Cheney that the Constitution can be interpreted to mean that Vice President’s office is part of both the Executive and Legislative branches of government, and that the VP’s duties should therefore be expanded into legislative matters, Sarah said that she did, and thought that the VP’s job should be expanded if the VP wants it that way.  Joe’s response to this about Dick being the most dangerous VP ever (and so purely evil that he should be banished to that one-dimensional universe where they put the “Superman” villains) was great.  But anyway, I don’t think Sarah even knew that the vice presidency IS part of the executive branch, so I’m not sure how much we should worry about her plans to be the boss of the Senate. 

Well, I have kittens to feed, so the floor is yours.  More later.

This Debate Should Be Moderated By A Frightened Moose

Posted by scott on October 2nd, 2008

I’m not quite sure how this happened, but apparently I’ve become Richard Viguerie’s penpal.  Richard, as some of our older readers may remember, was a protege of Billy James Hargis, a founding father of the Christian Right, and an equal opportunity sexual predator who broadmindedly diddled both the boys and girls in his youth choir, the All American Kids, showing no hint of favoritism or prejudice.  Later, Richard went on to pioneer the use of direct mail in political campaigns, proving that if you blanket voters with libelous screeds just before election day, giving the defamed party no time to respond, then our Democracy will be strengthened, and our various branches of government will enjoy an even greater surplus of victorious, if soulless dickweeds.  Well, now Richard’s discovered email, and he won’t leave me alone:

Demand that Gwen Ifill be fired as the moderator of the Vice Presidential debate!

Dear Fellow American:

The mainstream (liberal) media’s smear campaign against Governor Sarah Palin has been one of the ugliest chapters in the history of modern witch hunts.

As we all know, the history of modern witch hunts stretches from Pastor Thomas Muthee’s heroic battle against a sorceress who summoned the power of Satan to cause fender benders in Kenya, all the way to Pastor Muthee’s invoking of God’s help to elect governor of Alaska.

Well, it has just become uglier—just when you probably thought that was impossible.

I was just thinking that was impossible!  How did you know?  GET OUT OF MY HEAD…!

It turns out that the “moderator” of the Thursday, October 2 vice presidential debate—PBS anchor Gwen Ifill—has a clear conflict of interest.

She’s been embezzling scare quotes.

Ms. Ifill is the author of a forthcoming book celebrating the politics and career of Senator Barack Obama. Her book is titled The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama, and is scheduled to be published on Inauguration Day—January 20, 2009. She obviously has both an ideological and a financial interest in the success of the Obama-Biden campaign, one of the parties to this debate.

Wait…Obama’s going to be debating the Republican vice presidential nominee as well as Biden?  Palin’s pulling a debate train?!

If that isn’t a clear conflict of interest, I don’t know what would be.

How about coaching one candidate with the aid of pilfered briefing books, and then going on TV afterwards to praise that candidate’s performance without revealing your role in the event?  That would really be a conflict of interest, unless you were wearing a bowtie, in which case you automatically receive a dispensation from the Pope, or the Commissioner of Baseball, or somebody.

This serious conflict of interest was not disclosed beforehand to Senator John McCain or to his vice presidential running mate, Governor Sarah Palin.

I can’t believe those slimy bastards thought they could slip this ringer past Governor Sarah Palin, a woman who reads any and all newspapers!

Ifill discussed the book in a interview with The Washington Post on September 4, well before the Commission on Presidential Debates announced the debate moderators…The McCain campaign said it had not seen Ifill’s Post interview, or been aware of her book, until Tuesday.

To be fair, when Governor Palin says “reads,” she means “skims,” and by “skims” she means, “whatever words she happens to glimpse that are still visible between the starbursts of liquid hamster shit when she changes the paper in the Habitrail.”

In the words of attorney and TV host Greta Van Susteren, they “should have been told before the campaign agreed to have her moderate. It simply is not fair—in law, this would create a mistrial.”

To be honest, I tend not to pay a lot of attention to the legal opinions of women named Greta who’ve had a lot of plastic surgery unless we’re negotiating the price of a Swedish massage.

The American people deserve an honest and transparent moderation of this debate.


Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming your moderator for tonight’s debate..