Frank is wondering why Josephine the Plumber wasn’t mentioned during the debate.  Do the candidates have something against Jane Withers?
–Frank Coniff’s Facebook page

What have we come to as a nation, when a registered Republican can’t pretend to be an independent in order to ask a loaded question in bad faith?  Well, in today’s exercise in pre-fab dudgeon, Jonah demands that you answer him!  (But you first have to promise that you’re not going to follow up, or pry into any personal stuff and make him all uncomfortable…)

At a John McCain rally in Virginia on Saturday, Tito Munoz had come to face the enemy: the news media, which had declared war on Joe Wurzelbacher.

“Why the hell are you going after Joe the Plumber?” he yelled at a group of reporters, including my National Review colleague, Byron York. “Joe the Plumber has an idea. He has a future. He wants to be something else. Why is that wrong?

It’s not wrong at all, Jermaine.  In fact, such quintessentially American industries as tabletop gaming and sex reassignment surgery are built upon that very urge.

Who knows what it will do for McCain in the end, but the Joe the Plumber phenomenon is real

If by “real” you mean a not terribly truthful guy standing in his front yard for half a cable news cycle, alternately holding court like an half-witted Alf Landon or glowering into the cameras like that guy from The Shield, and if by “phenomenon” you mean a catchphrase with a life expectancy somewhere between the Macarena and a K-meson.

At the rally, supporters carried handmade signs reading “Phil the Brick Layer” and banners proclaiming “Rose the Teacher.”

Other signs seen at McCain-Palin rallies included, “Jim the Lobbyist,” “Try Metamucil,” and “Show Us Your Mount McKinleys!”  Anyway, it seems clear from all the self-labeled archetypes that the Republican ticket has won the votes of America’s local kids TV show hosts.  We tried to get a statement from Soupy Sales and Hobo Kelly, but Officer Joe Bolton and Sheriff John stepped in and clubbed us senseless with their nightsticks.

Barack Obama, in contrast, has offered the most rhetorically eloquent defense of collectivism since Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Somebody who loves Jonah should pull him aside and mention that not everybody has read that book by Amity Shlaes blaming FDR for the Great Depression, and there’s still a few people around who actually remember that era (one of them’s running for President) and most Americans don’t regard Social Security as the speartip of Bolshevik revolution, and in general, those of us who live outside the sealed, Biosphere II-like environment of The Corner haven’t yet been fully conditioned to think of FDR as a man who could have been Trotsky if he’d just been a better dancer.

Obama also often articulates a vision of government inspired by the biblical injunction to be our brother’s keeper. Few would dispute the moral message, but many disagree that such religious imperatives are best translated into tax or economic policy. (Where are the separation of church and state fetishists when you need them?)

They’re over there, Jonah, taking personal inventory and wondering if they should really be devoting their pervy leisure hours to fetishizing the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment when they could just as easily be donning two wetsuits and a butt-plug and practicing hilariously incompetent auto-erotic asphyxia.

We’ve heard the candidate himself say that we should agree to higher taxes in the name of “neighborliness,” and that he’d raise the capital gains tax — even if it demonstrably lowered revenues — “for the purposes of fairness.” His “tax cut” for 95% of Americans is in large part a middle-class dole. He will cut checks to millions who pay no income tax at all and call it a tax cut.

Because people who don’t pay federal income taxes don’t pay taxes, because there’s only that one kind.  The Lucky Duckies, they’re just like 2/3rds of major American corporations.

Millions of Americans don’t share this vision. They don’t see the economy as a pie, whereby your slice can only get bigger if someone else’s gets smaller. They don’t begrudge the wealthy their wealth; they only ask to be given the same opportunities.

Sally the waitress at my local I-Hop will often stop by my table to refill my coffee cup and murmur dreamily, “All I want out of life is a fair shake and a no-bid contract to provide non-potable, e-coli-infected drinking water to our permanent military facilities in Iraq.”

They look at countries such as France and, rather than envy their socialized medicine and short workweeks, they fear their joblessness and tax policies that punish entrepreneurialism. People like Tito Munoz look at America and see an open path to their own American dream.

I tell ya, dude, there’s nothing scarier than comprehensive health care.  That’s why this Halloween, I’m going as hypertension medication with a low co-pay.  BRRRRRRR!

It would be nice if the media at least tried to understand this point.

Instead, they attacked and belittled a citizen who asked a candidate a question. They think he’s stupid or a liar for not understanding that a promised check from a President Obama is more valuable than some pipe dream about future success.

Exactly.  They all obsess about the taxes Joe won’t actually have to pay, the business he doesn’t actually plan to buy, and the plumbing he’s not actually licensed to do.  But does anyone mention how much he looks like Lex Luthor’s stupider brother, Lax Luthor?  No!

Pah!  Latoya was right.

Uncategorized | 23 Comments »

If you live in California, and haven’t yet followed the wise example set by the tiny Republic of Togo and pushed your TV out the window, you’ve no doubt seen this commercial for Prop. 8, the amendment that would rescind the right of same sex couples to marry.  It was lagging in the polls until a recent infusion of money from out of state religious organizations allowed them to blanket our major media markets with toasty-warm, hand-crocheted bigotry.

Besides trading in the usual fantasies about homo nups cracking that otherwise indestructible rock of society, Heterosexual Marriage, these commercials urge us to cast our ballots for the children!  Because otherwise, elementary school students will be taught that “boys can marry boys, and girls can marry girls,” and, presumably, which wedding chapels have the best glory holes.

Mary left a comment on Hoffmania, which Hoff has promoted to the front page.  It’s worth a read for anyone interested in just how “California law” requires that gay marriage be introduced into the curriculum.  Click here.

Teh GAYZ! | 11 Comments »

Poor Pastor Swank.  Apparently he’s lost all contact with reality, and is now living in a very strange and scary place straight out of a Hieronymus Bosch painting.  Sad, really.  But kind of scary too, because every day in my local paper’s Letters to the Editor, there are missives from people who believe the same stuff as the pastor (they just express themselves less “creatively”), leading me to conclude the high price of gasoline is being caused by conservatives hoarding the stuff so they can huff the fumes. Anyway, here’s your Swank for today.

Gadhafi: B. Hussein is Muslim

Here you have it:“‘There are elections in America now. Along came a black citizen of Kenyan African origins, a Muslim, who had studied in an Islamic school in Indonesia. His name is Obama,’ said Libyan leader Muammar Gadhafi in little-noticed remarks he made at a rally marking the anniversary of the 1986 U.S. air raid on his country” per Aaron Klein of WorldNetDaily.

The remarks may have been little noticed by normal people, but the wingnuts were all over the WorldNetDaily story, taking it as vindication of their belief that Obama is actually the Muslim Candidate (starring Sarah Palin in the Frank Sinatra role).  And yet they seem to be the brainwashed ones, recognizable by their constant assertion that “B. Hussein Obama is the warmest, most Muslim, foreignest, liberalest, baby killing-est, anti-Christian human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

So B. Hussein slips in an ABC interview to state “my Muslim faith.”Now Gadhafi confirms that to be fact.

No wonder the Muslim world throughout the globe is waiting anxiously for a B. Hussein presidential win.

Can we believe Gadhafi? Of course.

Sure, he’s an evil anti-American dictator who lies to his people all the time, but he would never try to mislead us!

Why would he say that if he did not believe it himself? He wouldn’t.

He just wouldn’t, okay!

He knows that B. Hussein is Muslim.

He undoubtedly knows all Muslims in the world personally, either meeting them socially at the Muslim Club, or seeing them at the weekly “Death to America” workshops/potluck suppers, so we can trust him on the issue of “Who’s Who in Islam.”

He states that B. Hussein is Muslim. B. Hussein has himself confessed to being of the “Muslim faith.”

What more can be printed for the reading public to take in than that?

Heck, if a slip of the tongue and the propaganda of a Third World super villain aren’t good enough for you, what will it take, America?!?

Yet liberal media feeds continue to recite that B. Hussein is “Christian.” Of course biblically knowledgeable believers know that that is a hoax.B. Hussein is no more Christian than Hindu. He breaks every biblical ethic.

He not only eats shellfish, commits adultery, covets, steals, and bears false witness, he also kills men in Reno just to watch them die.

He confesses that he reads the Bible but really knows not the Bible for he instructed a questioner to read the Sermon on the Mount to find out what was there to endorse homosexual “marriages.”

Matthew 5-7, the Sermon on the Mount passage, has nothing to state about homosexuality, let alone homosexual nuptials.

LOL.   Yes, folks, if the Sermon on the Mount does not denounce homosexuality, then that is proof positive that not only is Jesus strongly against gay nups, but also that Obama must be a Muslim.

In other words, B. Hussein is Muslim. Muslim rule will ensue if becoming President.

Yeah!  Remember that horrible time we had with Catholic rule when Kennedy was president, and the horrors of Quaker rule when Nixon was President?  Who wants something like that again?

It will be quite convenient for Muslim B. Hussein then to stay in line with the Koran for George W. Bush was foolish enough to place that volume in the White House library during a Ramadan dinner where guests were Muslim leaders.

Wow, Bush sure made it easy for Obama, didn’t he?  Maybe Bush is a secret Muslim too!   (But I have to wonder why a fanatical Muslim like Obama doesn’t have his own copy of the Koran to terrorize us with.)

America, beware..

Bewaaaare! Bewaaaaaaare!

The Muslim cloud is soon to hang heavily over our Republic if B. Hussein hoodwinks the ignorant into voting him onto Pennsylvania Avenue..

I heard that George Lucas rejected the title ”The Muslim Cloud” in favor of “The Phantom Menace” for his goofiest Star Wars flick.Anyway, you heard the pastor, and it’s almost Halloween, so beware, bewaaaaarrrre!!!

Swank Bank | 29 Comments »

I popped into NRO’s The Corner a few minutes ago, just to see if they were waxing wroth about middle class communism and the ever-increasing acreage of anti-American America, and found the joint fairly dead, except for NR editor and former Bush speech writer Jay Nordlinger, who was pacing around, cranking out post after consecutive post, and arguing with himself like Anthony Perkins in Psycho.  First, he treats us to an account of his evening at the cinema, but wanders off-topic midway through when he begins to hallucinate that his neighbors are reptiles:

What’s in a Hiss?   [Jay Nordlinger]

Had a funny moment last night — and it has to do with hissing. I’ve written on this subject: The Left hisses. I first noticed it when I was a kid growing up in Ann Arbor. Horrible, sinister sound — snake-like. Anyway, was in a movie theater on the Upper West Side (Manhattan). And a preview of Oliver Stone’s movie W. came on. And the hissing was kind of strange — sort of tentative hissing. Because they were hissing the president, of course — they had to do that. But they were aware it was an Oliver Stone movie, too – and Stone is good in their theology. So, they were unsure whether to hiss or not. They wanted to hiss the subject of the film, but not the film itself. You know? It was the most unusual hissing I have ever heard.

I’ve occasionally wondered what would drive someone to write for the NRO when there are many more respectable and lucrative forms of online porn that are equally hungry for content.  And if we are going to judge the matter by Jay, it’s clear the motivating force is some sort of psychopathy; but I have to give him credit for a remarkably genial and phlegmatic brand of dementia, since he seems less horrified than bemused by the prospect of sharing the Upper West Side with a race of bipedal reptiles who communicate their socialist agenda entirely with sibilance.

Fifteen minutes later, Jay was visited by a much more congenial delusion:

A Vote from (Way) Up North   [Jay Nordlinger]

Had lunch with a couple who had just been to a law-school reunion in California (Stanford). They met a classmate who, immediately after law school, moved to Fairbanks and has practiced there ever since. The inevitable question: “What do you think of your governor?” The answer, “Oh, we love her — everyone in Alaska does. Everything she says and does is right. And, I tell you: If she ever came up against Putin, he’d fall before her. She’s tough as nails. There’s steel beneath the attractive warmth.” Yup. I hope she goes far, far. And the campaign of hate and vilification against her has been one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed in American public life.

Yes, it’s one thing for Bull Connor to turn police dogs and fire hoses on non-violent protesters, but the MSM sought to destroy the Republican Party by letting Katie Couric off the leash!  Fortunately, there was no harm done, as the Alaska governor is made of liquid metal.

Your Papers, Please   [Jay Nordlinger]

Have a friend who was in Riverside Park (Manhattan) with his baby daughter. A woman came up to him and said, “Are you a registered Democrat?” He said no. She said, “Well, you can register right now — it will just take a second. I have the necessary paperwork here.” He said, “No, actually, that’s not it — I am registered. It’s just that I’m a registered Republican.” He said that the woman gave him a look of hate such as he had seldom seen — sent a shudder down his spine. She walked away, still glaring, bitterly, without a word.

Now I want to believe Jay — he hasn’t lied to us yet, has he? — and on the surface, this story certainly sounds plausible, because after all, haven’t we all been accosted in a park by bitter voting registration activists who glare at us and seethe with silent hatred?  But the thing is, if the woman was really a Leftist, wouldn’t she have hissed?  I’d find this anecdote a lot easier to swallow if she’d said, “Well you can regissssssster right now — it will jussssst take a sssssecond.  I have the necesssssssary paperwork…” and then maybe smelled him with her tongue.  I mean, to hear Jay’s friend tell it, you’d scarcely believe she was hiding scales underneath her latex face.

Now, the thing is, my friend’s not very political at all — he’s not like me and the rest of us NRO-niks. He just has a nice career (unrelated to politics), and a nice family, loves to play golf, likes to go to the movies, and goes about his business. And he thought, “Shouldn’t she simply have been pleased that I was registered? Isn’t political participation and good citizenship what it’s all about?”

Oh, no, no, my friend — not by a long shot. Come the revolution, you will understand. And that lady will give you a good long time in a camp to think about it.

On the bright side, I hear they’ll be serving honey-glazed chicken with whole wheat pita and your choice of fruit in the camp.  Plus, if you’re an Autumn, those orange jumpsuits will flatter your natural coloring.

Revenge of the Nerds | 22 Comments »

Ah, October.  When the skeletal trees are etched against a slate gray sky, frost gathers on the pumpkin, and wicked somethings this way come.  And in the spirit of the season, our friend Capmconnundrum has been kind enough to create a Halloween theme especially for Wo’C:

McCain: A Symphony of Horror.

Happy Holidays | 16 Comments »

Was that title just a cheap stunt to bring up our Google hits, or was it part of a ploy by the police predator task force to seek out perverts?  Who can say. 

Anyway, I liked this blurb from my new favorite emailed news summary, the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow.

Perspectives – The rebellion has begun – and it’s not a partisan fight
This election long ago ceased to be a partisan battle between Republicans and Democrats. It goes back to the influence of the very first radical — Lucifer.

Yes, basically this year’s election is a contest between conservatives and Satanists.  So, are you in favor of raising taxes on the poor, or sacrificing virgins?  Choose wisely!

And if you actually read the column, which is by one Sandy Rios, you will learn of a dark conspiracy more than 50 years in the making to elect Obama to the presidency.  It’s all good, but I have to get back to looking for those nude photos (for you, the WO’C reader), so let’s just read the beginning and the conclusion, and then get on with our lives.

Somewhere along the way — while most of us were enjoying our precious freedoms, taking kids to soccer, ordering pizza and listening to our iPods — there was another group of people who were at work to destroy America. Even as they enjoyed with us its benefits, they schemed and planned and, moment by moment, inch by inch, gained a footing and we never realized the ground was shifting.
 
You could say the groundwork was laid in the ’50s when radicals who were often synonymous with communists made a concerted attempt to destroy America through infiltration of media, government, and labor unions. Top-secret documents were leaked to the Soviets which resulted in the charge of treason for Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. America believed in punishing its traitors then and they paid with their lives.

In the 50′s, they knew what to do with radicals!  They fried them up good!

For nearly four decades, while we were living our lives and enjoying our freedoms, they were working diligently to destroy them. And now their plans have found the perfect personification in the handsome and charismatic Senator Barack Obama. But while he seems to bring new inspiration, their philosophy is as old as time.
 
They know who their inspiration is: Saul Alinsky, the ’60s author and philosopher of the left who profoundly influenced Hillary Clinton, Bill Ayres and Bernadine Dohrn and Barack and Michelle Obama. Alinksy stated clearly in the dedication of his famous treatise, Rules for Radicals: 

To the very first radical known to man who rebelled against the establishment and did it so effectively that he at least won his own kingdom — Lucifer.

The rebellion has found new strength. The attempted destruction of America has begun — and it is not a partisan fight.

So, it’s actually a contest between good and evil, light and dark, flabby old guys and handsome young ones, hippies and Viet Nam vets, commies and patriots, etc.  Forget the economy, and just vote for Jesus, because otherwise the Satanists win!

Well, I’m off to enjoy my precious freedoms and feed vicious Satanists kittens.  Don’t start the orgy until I get back!

P.S.  Here’s the  photo of Sarah.

 

Uncategorized | 25 Comments »

Over at the Corner, attorney and former Scalia law clerk Ed Whelan muses that if Roe v. Wade has been decided in, say, 1960, then John McCain wouldn’t be losing the election right now, because Obama’s mother would clearly have had an abortion.

Former Fetus Barack Obama   [Ed Whelan] Nearly 48 years ago, a young woman, not yet 18, became pregnant in her freshman year of college.  Living in a time and place in which abortion was generally illegal, she proceeded to marry the father of her child and gave birth to a son.  Perhaps she would have done so irrespective of the abortion laws at the time, even if, say, she lived in a legal culture that celebrated abortion as a fundamental right.

“Hey, I hope you guys are coming to our annual Abortion Celebration tonight…It’s gonna get cuh-RAAAA-zy.  Helen’s bringing hotdish and I hear we’re gonna have Saline the Clown and a piñata shaped like a uterus.  Oh!  And don’t forget to sign the card before you leave; it’s Cindy’s Partial Birthday tomorrow.”

Very possibly not.  (I haven’t found any statistics on the percentage of pregnant college freshmen who abort their pregnancies, but indirect indications suggest that it’s very high.)

And these indications are strongly supported by Ed’s Magic 8-Ball, which said, “Signs Point to Yes” the third time he shook it.

Barack Obama may actually believe, as he stated yesterday, that Roe v. Wade “was rightly decided.”  But it may be very lucky for him, as the son born of that woman, that it hadn’t been decided a dozen or so years earlier.

Ed’s basically making the same point as those t-shirts which read, “Smile!  Your Mom Chose Life,” except his Cafe Press merchandise designed specifically for men with a touch of the tarbrush (octaroons and above) who were conceived out of wedlock and born prior to 1973 would read: “Smile!  Your Mother Had No Choice, Otherwise She Totallty Would Have Aborted You.”

That Obama may owe his very life to a pre-Roe legal regime that banned abortion is, to be sure, not necessarily a reason that he should favor that regime (though I can’t help noting that Justice Thomas’s critics recklessly accuse him of hypocrisy for opposing racial-preference plans that they say he benefited from).

Let me see if I’m following Ed’s logic here…Since young women in their first year of college will sometimes terminate unplanned pregnancies, Obama is only alive because abortion was illegal when he was gestating, so if he adopts a position as President which respects a woman’s right to control her own body, it’s as hypocritical as rich men, like John Edwards, caring about poor people.  But because nobody dies from affirmative action, it’s fine if Thomas benefits from the program, then pulls the ladder up after him and yells “so long, suckers!” to anybody in line behind him.  Because he’s had a libertarian epiphany.

But it ought to lead Obama and others to think more carefully about the valuable role that protective abortion laws play.

“Protective Abortion Laws:  Ruining Women’s Lives Today, While Protecting the Potential Presidential Fetuses of the Future.”

Okey doke, then.  Cafe Press, here we come…

Really? | 19 Comments »

I don’t think the subhead to Goldberg’s latest parrot droppings in the LA Times is intended as satire, but it’s such a wickedly accurate summation that any “shorter Jonah” would seem redundant.  He really does just come right out and say that the Republican party is a courtly gentleman of the old school, and will not stoop to striking women, cripples, or Negroes, no matter how badly their behavior may cry out for the chastening sting of the horsewhip.

McCain has done nothing to fuel racism.

True.  The old racism was ecologically and politically unsustainable.  And McCain and Palin’s cleaner-burning “code words” are just the first of many new alternative fuels for racism we can look forward to in the 21st century.

Or, put another way, the McCain campaign has done as much to promote prejudice as the Obama campaign has to inflame the vile passions behind the “Abort Sarah Palin” bumper sticker…

Seriously, Jonah?  I had to Google that.  Are you really implying that Obama and Biden wave that bumpersticker aloft at campaign rallies, or is that just another gob of sputum coughed up by Michelle Malkin* after a day spent trolling Cafe Press for poutrage material?

…Madonna’s stage video lumping McCain in with Hitler…

As an official campaign spokesperson and likely pick for Secretary of State, its incumbent upon Madonna to convey her political views in a measured, respectful way while dancing around in her underwear.

…the eugenic snobbery aimed at Palin’s son with Down syndrome…

Okay, now he’s just making stuff up.  But in Jonah’s defense, “eugenic” did just pop up on his Word-A-Day desk calendar, and the only way to remember it is to use it in a sentence.

Beinart recounts how Palin said at one rally, “I am just so fearful that this is not a man who sees America the way that you and I see America.” Beinart makes it sound as if she said this through a Klan hood. Please. Every single presidential campaign boils down to an argument about how the candidates “see America.” Suddenly that question is out of bounds because Obama is black?

No, it’s probably because she added that Obama, “is someone who sees America, it seems, as being so imperfect, imperfect enough, that he’s palling around with terrorists who would target their own country.”  Hey Jonah, I have a question, and with all due respect: is this some sort of long con you’re pulling on the Times-Mirror Corporation, or do you actually think you’re fooling anyone?  I don’t mean to pry, I just want to know who I should be feeling sorrier for.

According to the liberal history books…

BZZZZZRRRRT!  Judges?  No, I’m sorry, we can’t accept that, I’m afraid you used your last “liberal” lifeline in the title of your “book.”

…in 1988 the GOP cast Michael Dukakis as too elitist, cosmopolitan and not American enough. In 1992, it ran a similar attack against Bill Clinton — remember the hullabaloo about draft dodging and that trip to Russia? In 2000, ditto with Al Gore, though the emphasis was less on foreignness and more on extraterrestrialness. And in 2004, there was John Kerry’s “global test” for U.S. national security. Lack of originality notwithstanding, why is it suddenly racist to treat Obama just like the four white guys who preceded him? Talk about racial double standards.

Life is so unfair.  Stupid black skin.

Obama holds mega-campaign rallies in Berlin, touts his global appeal and says a top foreign policy goal is to get other countries to like us. But it’s racist to call him cosmopolitan?

If only he was a Jew instead of African-American, then you could call him a “rootless cosmopolitan.”  I understand the modifier really sells it.

If Obama were a white Democratic nominee named Barry O’Malley, the GOP would be going after him twice as hard.

See?!  We’re losing because we’re nice!  NICE!!

*”[A]lluringly human-like,” according to the Colbert Report.

Revenge of the Nerds | 17 Comments »

Sorry I missed your birthday – between the regular Saturday Adoption Event at Petsmart, the big fundraiser for our rescue, and the new critters (four 4-week old feral kittens found abandoned by their mom in a window well), I didn’t have a chance to get to the computer.  But to make up for it, here’s a doubly nice birthday photo: Ann Coulter AND Bill O’Reilly!  (I’m not sure which is which, but the Rollingstone caption says that’s who they are.)

As you’ll notice, Bill (I think he’s the one in the tux) has a crooked bow tie, while Ann (the one with the really high forehead — wait, they BOTH have high foreheads!) is showing off some arm pit cleavage.  So, I think it’s only fair to conclude that the photographer interrupted them while they were in the middle a steamy falafel conversation.

Oh, and here’s a bonus: it’s the opening line of Bill’s Latest Column:

One of the things lacking in the second presidential debate this week was anger.

Because if there’s something this country needs more of, it’s vein-pounding, purple-faced rage.  Too bad Bill couldn’t run for President.

Birthdays | 28 Comments »

Well, I think we need to do something, and quickly, to get the taste of that last Ann Coulter photo out of the blog, so here’s a rare picture of both cats in the same frame.  Moreover, it’s an image that perfectly captures each of their personalities:

Moondoggie gazes dreamily into the distance, envisioning a perfect world of peace, justice, and laps a’plently.  Meanwhile, looming above, Riley wants you dead.  Dead!  But not enough to actually get up and do something about it.

Wild Things | 8 Comments »