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Archive for May 6th, 2007

From the Hoosier Sage

Posted by scott on May 6th, 2007

Peggy Noonan takes up Reagan’s last bottle of Just For Men, solemnly shakes the few remaining drops of “Chestnut Brown” over cracked ice, then downs it with an everclear chaser.  She drags a forearm across her lips, leaving a Joker-like smear of lipstick that stretches from mouth to ear, then turns her gimlet eye upon Simi Valley and haughtily informs the various pretenders that not only are they no Ronald Reagan, they aren’t even JFK who was no FDR, and what are all these snakes doing in the punchbowl?

Meanwhile, Doghouse Riley, like Tina Turner, demonstrates that We Don’t Need Another Hero, and manages to do so without belting out the love theme from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

Still, I don’t know anyone who became a “conservative” because of Reagan. No doubt some people did, just as there’s no doubt some admirers of Beethoven out there owe it all to A Clockwork Orange, but that doesn’t constitute proof of anything. I know there’s a demimonde of thirty- and forty-somethings out there who claim Road to Damascus-type revelation, but their precocious supposed liberalism is never credible nor believable. David Brooks? Glenn Harlan Reynolds? Neither evinces even a passing familiarity with the Civil Rights movement; both have a political cartoonist’s take on Feminism. What the hell were they so damned Liberal about in the 70s, anyway? The Reagan Era gave them the opportunity to keep dressing like their Inner Nixon Staffer but feel like they were finally trendy.

Read the whole thing.  No, go on, treat yourself.  You deserve it.

Ted Baxter Thinks You’re A Pervert

Posted by scott on May 6th, 2007

As Ken Levine points out, George Putnam, the stentorian narrator of this 1964 anti-pornography film, was a local L.A. newscaster who served as the unwitting model for Ted Baxter on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Here, he uses his preternaturally brawny vocal chords, their every sinew bulging and flexing like a Tom of Finland etching, to declare that only a sodomist would look at a woman’s ass.

Oh, and the film was produced by Charles Keating (a major figure in the Reagan-era savings and loan scandal), who later did prison time for securities fraud, thus proving that not all roads to sodomy lead to a woman’s derriere.

The entire 17 minute opus can be viewed here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 2 is highly recommended.  In the must-see climax, Putnam gives a dramatic reading from the novel Sex Jungle, one of a multitude of erotic paperbacks written under the name “Don Elliott” by science fiction luminary Robert Silverberg.