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My resolution to recommence posting on a regular basis sadly fell along the wayside due to:

(a) An orange kitten who met with a mysterious injury to his leg (I’m guessing he either fell afoul of Tonya Harding, or got it stuck in the heat vent cover on the floor), requiring an emergency trip to the vet and a day spent in the waiting room and then later, watching him and worrying about him.  (He’s fine now.  Emergency vet visit, X-Rays, etc.: $113; peace of mind: priceless, more or less.)

(b) The quincentennial (if that is a word) family reunion, that brought in relatives from all over the western United States, plus some weird people who presumably just heard about the free food.  Admittedly, my invovlement in this event was minimal UNTIL my mother was hospitalized with a gall bladder attack, and I was left to entertain some of the more “quaint” relations.  (Mom is okay now too.)

(c) The cat population explosion.  The woman who is in charge of cat adoptions at our rescue has some serious health problems, and had to scale back her efforts, so I’ve been filling in by meeting people at Petsmart who want to give a home to one (or more) of our cats.  For the last week, I’ve been there almost every day (not to mention my four-hour shift on Saturday), because it’s kitten season, and many people are falling victim to the insidious cuteness of these little varmints.  Which is good, because it’s kitten season, and every day or so our group gets a litter from the pound that would otherwise be put to sleep.  Kittens: buy them where you work or bank.

Additionally, my walk-in closet in now an auxillary cat hospital (the bathroom still houses Beth, who is basically over her respiratory ailment, but who can’t compete with the cute kittens at Petsmart, so will need to stay here until the youngsters are adopted; while the spare bedroom is still home for Willow and her two SUPER adorable kittens, whom I renamed Fanta and Rusty because I couldn’t remember their other names when I was at the vet’s). 

My new guests are Unnamed Black-And-White Long Hair Female, the most pitiful cat you’ve ever seen; and her 2-3 week old kitten, Leaky (once his persistant diarreah clears up he can have a new name).  Leaky’s 2 littermates died yesterday, which was sad, but also a blessing, because they were the most pitiful-looking things anyone has ever seen.  Seriously, it hurt me to look at them.  I did try to offer supportive care to help them through whatever malady this family has contracted (a seperate and distinct, and apparently much more serious, ailment than the kitty bug which Cooper and Beth have been suffering from), but it wasn’t meant to be.  Good night, sweet kittens — may feline angels sing thee to thy repose. 

Anyway, I am hoping that at least the mother will survive (she is a very sweet, loving cat, but is just skin, bones, and matted hair — and fecal material).  The baby is a scrappy little thing, but kittens are fragile, so I think he has at best a 50/50 chance. The kitten cries every two hours or so, and I offer him some kitten formula in a dropper, and clean up his behind — and then change my clothes, which invariable get some runny, yellow poop on them.  I sure hope that my quarantine efforts are successful, because I don’t own enough clothes to keep going if any of the other cats get this. 

Oh, and hey, if you wake up and discover that you’re one of the wealthiest people in the world (and just can’t decide what to do with your additional millions and/or your new portion of the quarter of the world’s wealth that you and your compadres own), then consider donating a bag of dog food to the Four Paws Animal Rescue.  Iif you buy a bag for $9.99, Pedigree will match it, and your donation can thus feed one dog for two months, or 80 dogs for a day (which is about how many dogs are at our shelter right now).  Go here:
DogsruleGear: Product: ‘22LB BAG DOG FOOD - DONATION’, put in Logan, Utah in the location block, and select “Four Paws” as the rescue (which is the only one in Logan, Utah, which makes it convenient), and then Pedigree will send a coupon to our rescue good for two bags of food.  (Or donate a bag to your local rescue or shelter — I’m sure they could use the help too).

But, hey, there have been good things happening this week too. 

1. Cooper got to go to his new home today, and he and his people (and me) were all delighted about it.  Middle-aged orange (neutered) tomcats with the sniffles who end in in the pound aren’t usually lucky enough to get adopted by adoring families.

2.  A really cool, smart, nice, kind person who has just written the script for next year’s mega-hit summer movie (which will probably not star ex-jailbird Paris Hilton), and who had to hear all the details about how my old computer tries to kill me every time I attempt to download photos from my crappy digital camera, gave me a new digital camera!  One made this century!  Watch out, Friday Cat Blogging, I have the technology now to rock your world!  Thanks, Scott — you are the best!

Oh, and this would probably be a good time to thank the nicest person in the world (I don’t want to embarras her by mentioning her name, but her initials are Anntichrist Coulter).  This lovely person sent me the most thoughtful and wonderful care packages while I was sick, and is basically just a great person whom I will buy an important federal position for once I am one of the world’s richest people.  (Additional note: I still love those origami cranes that D.Sidhe sent — they are so cool!).

Oh, and thanks to everyone else who sent emails and left nice and/or irrate comments while I was gone — your kindness has been noted, probably by both the NSA and the IRS.

So, that’s my life. 

Well, maybe you need to learn about this item from my local paper today to really get the flavor of it.  So, here goes:


As she sat and waited for the 2:30 bus to pull into the Logan Transit Center last week, Laura Stevens said she noticed a mother struggling to rein in her six children.

“I felt sorry for he,” Stevens said.  Maybe she doesn’t know that she could get a patch and not have a kid for five years.  That was my thought.”

When she told her thoughts to the woman, transit officials removed Stevens from the premises and told her not to return.

Yes, just because she tried to help a harried mother, the 76-year-old Stevens was banned from using public transportation, her only way to get around.  What a world, what a world!

Well, true, she’s been “making comments to some of the Hispanic passengers that they should be on the pill, that they’re taking over society,” claims the Transit District’s general manager, who believes that “the passengers have a right to ride and not be intimidated. (The story says that Stevens has been booted from the bus on multiple occasions over the last six months, presumably for harassing other passengers.)  But Steven feels her Constitutional rights have been violated. 

“If I can’t make one comment to someone, no one should.  I think it’s wrong.  It’s a violation of my First Amendment Rights.”

So, what say you?  Should Hispanic passengers be allowed to enjoy public transportation without being confronted by a kook who tells them they should refrain from breeding?  Or, does the bus system not have the right to ban an old lady from city-owned, tax-payer funded transportation because of her comments?  YOU make the call.

As for me, I have some runny poop to clean up in the closet.

21 Responses to “And Think of a Title for This While You’re At It”

Cut that out. “Nicest person in the world” — are you trying to COMPLETELY destroy my rep, or what? How in the hell am I supposed to intimidate people into having themselves PERMANENTLY STERILIZED if you go around telling people that I’m “nice”?!?!??!?

If the old woman is only telling the hispanic passengers to go onto the pill, then she’s a batty old bigot. If she’s telling all of the mighty-white mormons to get sterilized as well, then she’s my heroine. Personally, I’d like to sterilize this entire fucking country, or at least put out a 10-year moratorium on breeding, for fuck’s sake.

At any rate, how the fuck can they ban her from public transportation?!?! It’s not like she was practicing frotteurism, flashing (very) unwilling victims, or pickpocketing the girl scouts. She’s an old woman. Let her be nuts. If she’s got the fucking fare, she has as much right to ride the fucking bus as every “Have a blessed day” passive-aggressive ‘christian” cocksucker who uses the same public transportation. If those whiny bitches can try to shove Jeebus down everybody’s throat in every public office, municipal facility, or bus/train/what-have-you, THEN LET THE OLD BAT PUSH BIRTH CONTROL.

I’m not for the SELECTIVE sterilization, as she seems to be, I’m for ALL-AROUND mandatory birth control, but it’s not like she’s a fucking serial killer. She’s just a lonesome old woman who feels the need to “help” others by telling them not to breed. There but for the grace of GMC go I, in other words.

And S.Z. my darling, I’m so glad to have you back, as much as you can be back, considering that you seem to be sheltering every fucking animal in Utah in your house at the moment — and as always and in perpetuity, you are my utmost heroine. Not just for the critter good deeds, but just ’cause you’re you, of which the critter-saving is but one beautiful facet.

something tells me that the Miss Eugenics 1939 might be better off dealing with physical diarrhea than the verbal sort. then again, she’d prolly wind up being charged with animal cruelty.

and most public transit systems have laws and/or regulations regarding harassment of any sort

Are B&W Long Hair & her kitten up for adoption? I live in Sparks Nevada, perhaps we could arrange something? I have 2 kittys already, I think there’s room for more.

[…] Zac Efron Link to Article paris hilton And Think of a Title for This While You’re At It » Posted at World-O-Crap on Thursday, June 28, 2007 My resolution to recommence posting on a regular basis sadly fell along the wayside due to: (a) An orange kitten who met with a mysterious injury to his leg (I’m guessing he either fell afoul of Tonya Harding, or got it stuck in the heat vent cover on the floor) View Entire Article » […]

s.z., dahlin’, I have just two words of advice for you: no lions!
OK, OK, five words of advice; no rhinos, either!
I know, I know–they’re both endangered species, especially the rhinos. And the rhinos seem pretty harmless, I mean, they’re vegans - how much trouble can they be? They might even keep your lawn close-cropped… for free!!1!!!1!
But, don’t forget - rhinos are Rethuglicans In Name Only, every last one of ‘em, and… waitaminute.
Rhinos aren’t R.I.N.O.s! Damnit! They just look freakishly similar! I just knew I should never believe a single word that lying little bitch ‘Berto Gonzales had to say!!
Hm? What’s that sound?
[crash! smash! snort!!] AAUUUUGGGHHHH!! AIEEEEE–! [trample! rend! impale!!] GAAHH!! Hey-was that Midge Dichter? GGGAAAAHHHHHH!!!*gasp* *gasp*
Oh, man! I’ve been gored!


Oh, and as far as a title for it goes, howsabout “Mitt and teh Manna From Heaven -or- Teh Unlikely Irish (setter) Spring of Seamus (manly, yes, boot oye loike eet teu. Orr nawt! woof!).”

Hmm… a bit busy. Too many parentheticals. Eh, I give it a four.

How ’bout “Teh Jungle”

…by Upton Sinclair

BTW, S.Z., I can personally and highly recommend Kathy From Sparks as a critter-loving, kind-hearted, and generous human being who will spoil those cats rotten if given the chance.

So if they survive (fates willing), and Kathy’s offering to adopt them, GO FOR IT!!!!!! Nevada’s not THAT far away, anyway — could be worse, could be somewhere between Needles & Barstow when the drugs kick in and the bats start chasing the car…. oh, wait, different story. Nevermind. (Cue Emily Litella and HST.)

But the recommendation still stands.

P.S. Preznit, far be it from me to quibble (right?), but obviously, you’ve never ridden public transportation in New Orleans, especially the St. Charles Streetcar between the muses and Canal Street, or as I liked to call it, “The Calcutta Express” (similar scents, waaaayyyyyy the fuck less charm). The drivers of RTA (or as we used to call her, back in the good old days, “RiTA,” a cheap ho that you could ride all day for a dollar) wouldn’t give a flying frog fuck if you were humping an octogenarian’s leg in the middle of the aisle whilst blocking the handicapped seating with a fresh corpse, unless you happened to interrupt their cigarette break. “Harrassment”? Pfft. Lightweights.

f the old woman is only telling the hispanic passengers to go onto the pill, then she’s a batty old bigot. If she’s telling all of the mighty-white mormons to get sterilized as well, then she’s my heroine. Personally, I’d like to sterilize this entire fucking country, or at least put out a 10-year moratorium on breeding, for fuck’s sake.

That pretty much covers it, though I’ve got no problems with barring people from the bus if they’re repeatedly harassing other riders in violation of the rules.

S.Z., I continue to be amazed that you can actually cope with this. I’d be at wit’s end (shut up, all of you) over just the sick cats and the number of them, having some of them die would pretty much crush me. I don’t know how you do it.

Sure, she has a right to ride on public transportation. Up on top. With Mitt’s dog.

Personally, I’d like to sterilize this entire fucking country, or at least put out a 10-year moratorium on breeding, for fuck’s sake.

I just want to sterilize Republicans.

If you see this lady on the bus, walk up to her, smile sweetly, lean towards her, and say: “Two words — Haldol injections.” And if anyone gives you a dirty look, just shrug and say: “First Amendment, right?”

So basically, you’re saying you’re running slow because you’ve been getting too much pussy and too many asses?

Trashfire, dude (or dudette), I would SO be right there with you if I didn’t have this niggling half-memory, somewhere in the back of the attic of my oft-dented head, that Haldol is manufactured by Eli Lilly Co….(?)

Anything that cometh from the loins of GHWB (Sr.) and the rest of that executive board of vultures could be construed as far more than simple assault.

I’m probably wrong, and Preznit will probably point that out at some point and correct my error, but if we’re going to put the old bat onto pharmacological assholishness-depleters, can we at least get ‘em from a less evil source?

And if we’re just going to follow her bus route and tag her shrivelled ass with a tranq-dart, then I’d much rather use thorazine than Haldol. Sure, sure, a few side effects, but she might stay home and keep to herself more often.

I dunno. Haldol wasn’t too bad, side effects-wise, all things considered, and one of those things to consider is that all antipsychotics suck. There’s generics now, though.

If I had to eliminate drug options based on the company’s unethical behavior, I’d be dead by now, really.

Y’know what’s even creepier? I wrote a screenplay in 1989 that featured a “drug” named “Haldol” before it was ever invented, ’cause I didn’t wanna get sued by the cocksuckers who sold Halcyon, the drug that fucked me up so badly after my first car wreck in ‘86. Little did I know… Oh, and btw, GHWBush was on Halcyon the entire time that he was in office, along with the THC eyedrops.

I say the miserable old bat hs every right to ride the bus. Don’t forget that the loudest whine of the wingnuts is, “Poor me, those filthy brown people got me kicked [out/off] of [the bus/college/a baseball game/some bar/etc.] just because I gave them an honest evaluation of how they could better themselves by [bathing/going back to Mexico/practicing birth control/speaking English (this is America, for Jeebus’ sake)/ staying out of the White Section, etc.].”.

Perhaps the frothing-at-the-mouth crowd would be better accepted for what they are if they were allowed to continue to embarrass themselves at public places at full volume.

I have noticed one fun method for getting modestly right-wing people to tone it down is to talk to them just after hearing some unhinged idiot rant about swarthy folks.

Re: Haldol

The Prime Minister of Japan who had the misfortune of receiving Bush the Elder’s…emittances…died this week.

People who ride the bus have enough shit to deal with. If you harass other people in violation of the rules, I have no qualms about getting your ass kicked off. We’re helping save your planet, for pity’s sakes, and keeping your roads clearer and your gas cheaper. Don’t make us have to deal with racists as well. You want them around as object lessons, *you* give them a ride.

Seriously, how many frothing wingnuts do you know who ride the bus? The ones I know all have SUVs and trucks and think mass transit is for liberal pussies and welfare queens.

Personally, I look forward to the day when the self-centered republicunts are FORCED to use public transport, because the fabled revolution will finally have come, and all of their SUVs and McMansions will be “redistributed” to people who really need/deserve them to serve the greater good.

Hey, I don’t get to HOPE much these days, let me have my little five-minute fantasy.

I always tend to sympathize with the elderly (if not egotistical baby boomers who can’t deal with the fact that they’re in their SIXTIES, for fuck’s sake), so maybe I was too lenient on the old bat, but at least she lives in a place where they HAVE public transportation — too bad that she couldn’t have taken her meds those days, ’cause now she’s prolly screwed. Yeah, yeah, I know, one less wingnut on the planet, one less doorknob, as Bill Hicks would say, but I can’t help it — I feel for the old coots, even if I don’t want to be FELT by them (don’t ask, I live in subsidized housing, you DON’T want to know). And no, I wouldn’t be nearly as lenient if the geezer/spinster/batshit-crazy-old-coot were, say, Dick Cheney, John Ashcroft, anybody on the “supreme” court, King Abdullah, QE2, or Kim Jung-Il. I never said that it was a perfect world, now did I?

Something to say?