“Dr.” Chuck Baldwin is back under his own byline today, having gently but firmly reclaimed the bully pulpit from his son Timothy, who contributed last Sunday’s sermonette on states rights. Some readers, after digesting the essay in question, seem to have felt that Tim proved himself less an advocate for state sovereignty, and more a Robert Stacy McCain-style neo-Confederate, a charge that Baldwin the Lesser disputes, although he does admit that while most boys his age were putting up posters of Farrah Fawcett in their rooms, he was jerking off to an equestrian figurine of Nathan Bedford Forrest.
Speaking of R.S. McCain (no link, because I think most of what he has to say about politics was better expressed in reels 9 through 12 of Birth of a Nation), this ad was on his front page the last time I visited:
It doesn’t really have anything to do with today’s topic, I just thought he and his readership should be complimented on their refreshingly uneuphemistic approach to Republican mating rituals. Anyway, “Dr.” Baldwin is going on a dangerous expedition to discover and expose a long-buried, and perhaps deadly, secret — in many ways he’s like another heroic academic, Indiana Jones, except Indy’s doctorate was less fictional.
The Internet is abuzz with news about the construction of internment camps all across America.
True. Of course, the Internet is also abuzz with news about Salvia, the legal alternative to marijuana, which would be sweeping the nation right now if its name didn’t look at first glance like “saliva.”
Of course, “mainstream” media outlets refuse to touch the subject; or if they do, they pooh-pooh the story; they do what Glenn Beck recently did: try to debunk the story as fallacious and impugn people who speak of it as “conspiracy nuts.”
I’ve often wondered, can people like “Dr.” Baldwin and Glenn Beck call each other “conspiracy nuts” without giving or taking offense, the same way black people can address each other by the N-word?
The fact that the Becks, Hannitys, Limbaughs, and O’Reillys of the media circus refuse to deal with the construction of large numbers of internment camps does not make them disappear, however.
No, it’s the giant space-based mirrors which can selectively bend light waves that make them disappear.
For starters, all anyone need do to begin a serious investigation of the subject of internment camps is Google the phrase “FEMA Camps.”
It’s so easy, I don’t know why more people don’t conduct serious investigations like this! The first few hits you’ll get include a YouTube video by Alex Jones, a low-wattage talk radio host known for his conspiracy theories who says the FEMA camps are actually owned and operated by the New World Order; and a site called freedomfiles which claims FEMA maintains not only “Enslavement and Concentration Camps,” but a fleet of black helicopters — the purpose of which used to baffle me until I met a pilot who explained that black is a particularly slimming look for rotor blade aircraft.
There is more than enough evidence in that search engine alone to keep one busy with some in-depth private investigation of the subject for quite a while.
It’s true that “FEMA Camps” runs up about 163,000 hits on Google, and I haven’t privately investigated each one; but judging by the top search results, they all seem to be as fond of assertion as they are indifferent to evidence. Still, I’m not about to argue with a man who has two honorary degrees.
As people read my columns all across America…
Well…as one guy reads your column all across my desktop…
I have had numerous readers contact me, saying that they have personally witnessed the transportation of construction materials used for internment camps…
You can tell the materials aren’t for regular construction projects, because instead of oxy-acetylene welding rigs, the internment camp welders use oxy-Zyklon B.
…have actually worked in and around them, or have personally seen such camps.
They’ve also personally seen the true alien face of Obama’s brownshirts, but that’s just because they have those special welding goggles.
These eyewitness testimonies have come from very credible people, including law enforcement and military personnel, as well as airline pilots and construction workers.
And I personally can’t think of a more unimpeachable source. For instance, if you’re a woman walking past a construction site, and the hardhats whistle at you and vouchsafe that you’ve got “nice cans” and “a sweet caboose,” you know that assessment comes from a non-partisan, highly credible source.
Just a few weeks ago, I was aboard a cross-country flight when the passenger I was sitting next to (a total stranger) asked me to take a look out the window. He asked, “Do those look like internment camps to you?”
Now I make no claims to Bible scholarship, but even I know the Scriptures frown on false witness, so unless pastors are exempt from the rules on lying the same way cops are allowed to double park and run red lights, I hope that when the Reverend “Dr.” Baldwin dies, he does a better job of bullshitting Jesus.
We were flying over Colorado, over extreme wilderness terrain, and, yes, right in the middle of nowhere, the buildings and surrounding features that I saw sure looked like internment camps to me.
What a coincidence. I see the same thing in the moisture stains on our bathroom ceiling.
Furthermore, I have had military personnel tell me that many of the US military bases that have been recently “closed” are also being prepared as large-scale “holding areas.”
It’s true! The very same thing happened to the El Toro Marine Corps Air Base in Orange County, very close to where I grew up! I mean, technically it was turned into the nation’s largest municipal park, but the food court looks a lot like a concentration camp when the sun’s in your eyes.
[I]t is not a little disconcerting when the same federal government that is building these internment camps begins categorizing Christians, conservatives, people who support the Second Amendment, people who oppose abortion and homosexual marriage, people who oppose the North American Union and the New World Order, people who oppose the United Nations and illegal immigration, and people who voted for Ron Paul or Chuck Baldwin as “extremists,” or “potential dangerous militia members.”
Yeah. Listen, if the government plans to intern everyone who voted for Chuck Baldwin in the 2004 presidential election, a gulag archipelago won’t be necessary; they can all just sleep on my couch. It’s a pull-out.
Professional Paranoid