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Archive for November 1st, 2010

Happy BDay to Chris, Happy All Saints Day to All Saints

Posted by s.z. on November 1st, 2010

Chris, let me add my happy wishes to the stack there on the mantle. Like others have noted, Chris is a long-time favorite around here (and as such, is entitled to our “super secret snark” reserved for founding members). I remember the days when my fingers would automatically type “Christ V” whenever I mentioned him, and eventually the name stuck, and then he died for our sins.

Anyway, I wish you the happiest of birthdays, Chris, and because Scott has already inflicted the traditional Coulter torture on you, I will just share with you this appalling photo.

Besides being Chris’s birthday, today is also All Saints’ Day. Per Wikipedia, All Saints’ Day honors “all the saints, known and unknown.” And hey, that just might include some of you!

Also, there are many Saints who are known, but not all that notable, and probably wouldn’t get honored any other day. For example, one St. Alkeld: “Nothing is documented about her life, but she is depicted in a painting as being strangled by Dane invaders.” Which probably wasn’t a lot of fun, but doesn’t really inspire many people to live better lives these days.

But one good thing about Saints, there seems to be one for every purpose you can think of. Here are a few from the list, chosen more or less at random:

~ Saint Anthony the Patron of Lost articles, the Poor, Amputees and Cemetery workers

~ Saint Benedict the Patron of Monks and Poisoning
~ Saint Bernadine the Patron of Advertising
~ Saint Bernadino the Patron of Impulsive and uncontrolled gambling

~ Saint Christina – Millers, Insanity and Psychiatrists

~ Saint Maurice the Patron of Infantrymen, Cramp and Swordsmiths
~ Saint Maximilian Kolbe the Patron of Drug Addiction
~ Saint Michael the Patron of Battles, Germany, Grocers, Police officers, Radiologists, Seafarers
~ Saint Monica the Patron of Alcoholism, Bakers, Brewers, Children, Coopers, Greece and Peace
~ Saint Nicholas/Saint Dorothy the Patron of Brides
~ Saint Norbert the Patron of Peasants

~ Saint Scholastica the Patron of Convulsions in Children and rain
~ Saint Sebastian the Patron of Athletes, Enemies of religion, Gardeners, Iron mongers, Undertakers
~ Saint Stephen the Patron of Austria, Casket makers, Hungary and Stone masons
~ Saint Swithin – Weather
~ Saint Theresa of Avila the Patron of Headache sufferers

Anyway, your assignment to commemorate the holiday is to either pick your patron saint (from the link above, or any other official Catholic saint list, or your imagination, or whatever), and say why he or she is getting that honor.

Or, make up a patron saint for a group, situation, or attribute that seems to be patronless. For example, I suggest that the Catholic Church beatify somebody who can be the “Patron of finding a parking place when you’re running late and really need one.” Or perhaps St. Sebastian could add that to his list. I also note that as St. Alkeld (the one who was strangled by Danes) has apparently not been chosen to be over anything, I recommend that she be made the patron of Altoids, stranglers, and being jumped on by big, overly-friendly dogs.

Now, get to work!

Happy Birthday, Chris V!

Posted by scott on November 1st, 2010

Today is the natal anniversary of WO’C commenter extraordinaire (and our old drinking buddy) Chris Vosburg.  Celebrated from here to Alicublog for his dry wit and command of the off-beat, but oddly relevant fact, Chris V. is also one of the nicest people you’ll ever met, assuming you ever meet him, which personally, we’d recommend.

Now, Chris, in honor of your special day (and before s.z. beats me to it) here’s a photo of Ann Coulter loading up on some of that nicotine gum she’s constantly working her jaws around like Bull Connor with a plug of Red Man.

Phew!  Okay, moving on…As is only appropriate for a fellow who works and lives in Hollywood, the Stars have much to say about you.  So let’s listen in:

The waxing Sun trine Moon in your Solar Return chart is a fortunate aspect.

But you should probably spend the extra $3.50 for the Carnuba Sun Wax, for that genuine trine shine.

You are likely to feel especially comfortable in your skin this year.

I envy you, Chris, because I can never seem to get comfortable in my skin.  To begin with, it’s got poor lower back support and is always asking me really personal questions.

This could be a good year for financial undertakings involving electronics, technology, the internet

Uranus is apparently suggesting that you explore the burgeoning field of porn spam.

Childbirth is sometimes associated with this aspect, if appropriate.

So don’t go into labor unless the moment feels right.

On This Day in History:

996 – Holy Roman Emperor Otto III issues a deed to Gottschalk, Bishop of Freising, who responds by opening a chain of dry goods stores in Fresno and Visalia.

1896 – A picture showing the unclad (bare) breasts of a woman appears in National Geographic magazine for the first time, in the annual Girls of Abyssinia issue.

1911 – The first dropping of a bomb from an airplane in combat, during the Italo-Turkish War, by Flying Lieutenant Vittorio “Butterfingers” Lombardi. The war between the Kingdom of Italy and the Ottoman Empire is officially ended by the Treaty of Ouchy, which mandates the transfer of Tripolitania and Cyrenaica to Italy, provides for the demilitarization of the Dodecanese Islands, and requires that henceforth all combat wounds be treated by “kissing them.”

Born this day in 1982:  Yuko Ogura, Japanese model, seen here presenting you with a birthday blancmange, and trying desperately to make up for that Coulter pic:

Many more, Chris.  (Birthdays, that is, not Japanese models.  Not that we’re judging you, or trying to get all up in your business, or anything.)