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Archive for June 7th, 2010

Judie! Judie! Judie!

Posted by scott on June 7th, 2010


Most of the columnists who pop up at RenewAmerica are obscure and amateur cranks, and despite their tendency towards lengthy, if not vainglorious resumes, no one seems to know where most of them come from, although my guess would be the north side of a tree. A handful insist on claiming professional status, like papal groupie Matt C. Abbott, who calls himself a “Catholic columnist.” Now, I certainly agree that he’s Catholic, although his columns, as we’ve discussed, consist almost entirely of Matt introducing some diatribe from a peeved priest or cardinal, which makes him less of an entertainer than an emcee — sort of the Ed Sullivan to the bishopric’s Beatles. In a way, this is understandable; since Matt is a devotee of orthodox Catholicism, he would naturally value pronunciamentos from the Voice of Authority over his own piddling lay opinions.

But Judie Brown is different. She’s “president and co-founder of American Life League, the nation’s largest grassroots pro-life educational organization,” an assertion which seems both incredibly specific and hard to prove, but the thing does actually exist, which is more than you can say for the CVs of most RenewAmerica contributors. In fact, Judie has has been “involved in the pro-life movement since 1969,” so she’s been trying to take away your rights since before you even had them.

But unlike a lot of abortion opponents, Judie has evolved beyond mere opposition to choice, and doesn’t actually appear all that concerned about what goes on in the womb — her mission is to stop the killing of “pre-born babies” by contraception, so she’s more interested in fallopian tubes, ovaries, and testes. Because, as you’ll be shocked to learn, Judie is also an ultra-orthodox Catholic; according to her bio, “[s]he is currently serving her second five-year term as a member of the Pontifical Academy for Life in Rome” which is “a Vatican committee that advises Pope Benedict XVI on respect-life topics.” Which I guess means she works in the Vatican, so Judie’s life is basically Bosom Buddies in reverse.

Her bio goes on to claim that “Daily Catholic cited her as one of the top 100 Catholics of the 20th century,” which is probably the only surprising part of her resume, because I would have guessed the 15th.

The pill kills the truth

INTRO: Saturday, June 5th is a special day for preborn babies

Zygotes drink free! 2-for-1 Placenta Shooters.

…honest pro-life activism and families committed to ridding this nation of the sexual saturation that is killing the souls of our young people.

Especially the pre-born ones. Like a lot of people, I thought fetuses floated in amniotic fluid, but as it turns out, they’re soaking in sex!

This is why Judie Brown has a message that every American should read.

Saturday, June 5th is the third anniversary of American Life League’s groundbreaking effort to expose the fact that the birth control pill is nothing but bad news.

So it’s a lot like FOX.

The pill kills preborn babies

By preventing ovulation. So the pill works much like the killer cyborg in The Terminator, by going back in time and killing a pre-born baby before it’s pre-fertilized.

The pill kills women

This second claim links to a pop-up PDF of talking points from Judie’s side project, thepillkills.com, which informs us that “Oftentimes what can happen is that the pill can cause a woman to develop deep vein thrombosis, which is a blood clot that forms in a vein.” It seems like the FDA would be hesitant to approve a drug that “oftentimes” kills the user, but it’s been hamstrung because “[n]o one can know whether or not the pill has been a contributing factor in more deaths since the U.S. Standard Certificate of Death does not include a section that asks whether or not the deceased was taking some form of birth control.”

It’s the perfect crime!

But, as the Concerned But Fake Young Woman asks in the talking points, “What if I have to take the pill for medical reasons?”

A: Since each woman and situation is different, you should talk this over with your doctor and find a safer alternative. In many cases, the pill does not treat or cure your medical condition, but is nothing but a band-aid, which can actually cause even more problems. If your doctor has no other alternative, then contact the Pope Paul VI Institute…There are trained professionals there that can help you find the real source and treatment for your medical condition and they may be able to make a referral to a trained physician in your area.

You may think your doctor is a “trained physician,” but unlike the “trained professionals” at the Pope Paul VI Institute, she doesn’t have an MD in the Rhythm Method.

The pill kills the environment

Ah, this sounds like our old friend Geoffrey Botkin’s argument about oral contraceptives turning our salmon into sissies. Let’s see if the Sims at thepillkills are equally as fretful…

Q: I’ve heard that male fish have become more feminine because of the pill. Is that true?

I don’t know, the Incredible Mr. Limpet seemed pretty butch.

Each of these statements is based on irrefutable evidence.


My friend, you have seen this incident, based on sworn testimony. Can you prove that it didn’t happen?

Even so, most of the media seems content with continuing the lie started more than 45 years ago by those committed to destroying marriage and discarding children prior to birth.

Well if you discard them after birth then you also have to discard the afterbirth, and a lot of times that’ll make the raccoons knock over your trash cans.

The result of this furtive campaign toward total moral devastation has resulted in the sexually saturated society of 2010. And, according to plan, most Americans have no clue that there’s anything wrong with the current state of affairs. Pardon my pun.

Let me find it first.

That’s how the architects of death designed it.

With puns?

The challenge is developing a knack for holding the attention of our fellow citizens long enough to make the point that contraception, regardless of the method, is piercing the heart of family life and destroying the souls of our children. Such a statement is unpopular but it remains the single most important message we can share. Even those who are committed to protecting the innocent at the same time refrain from making note of the devastating sociological consequences of contraception.

No one can doubt Judie’s bona fides as an opponent of legal abortion; the site for her primary organization ALL American Life League (which sounds like some sort of farm club for fetuses) has a post defending Bishop Thomas J. Olmsted, the Arizona cleric who excommunicated a nun for allowing staff at a Catholic hospital to perform a life-saving abortion:

Bishop Olmsted reminds us that a unique and unrepeatable preborn baby is at the center of this tragic case and his or her murder strikes at the very core of the Gospel of life and the call of Jesus to see His face in those less fortunate.

Some people might think it’s the dying woman who actually belongs at the center of this tragic case, rather than her 11-week old fetus, but as Judie’s colleague Matt C. Abbott reminded us today, this isn’t about a woman’s right to life, it’s about a snotty ultra-orthodox Catholic’s right to scare quotes:

(This “hard case” abortion story is exposing the true colors of the Catholic left — also known as the seamless garment Catholics — many of whom will say that abortion should not be outlawed because, gosh, there are times when abortion is actually necessary to save a woman’s life, as this case “proves.”)

Back to Judie:

Here’s one very recent example. A new report…compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, using interviews with 2,767 teens, ages 15 to 19, between 2006 and 2008, reveals that almost 30 percent of those surveyed have already had at least two sexual partners in their brief lifetime.

Not to inject myself into the debate — Pardon my Pun — but I’d had more than two sexual partners by the time I was 19, so either I was a slut, or today’s kids are lazy and really need to put down the PS3 controller.

And — as if that were not evidence enough to suggest a deep-seated problem that has permeated the home, the classroom, the internet and elsewhere —

Wait — they’re having sex in the classroom? When I was in school, that was considered homework.

the study says that 42 percent of never-married teen females and 43 percent of never-married teen males are sexually experienced.

This is worrisome, because an increase in sexual experience means that more evangelical Christians will have a chance to discover they’re gay before they get married and start a megachurch.

Such statistics are appalling, not to mention devastating to those who have played Russian roulette with their bodies.

Which is even more dangerous than that scene in The Deer Hunter, because unlike a revolver with a single bullet, the penis always goes off.

Be that as it may, this latest report seems to become fodder only for those who want more sex instruction in the classroom, improved access to birth control and better availability of abortion. Few in the pro-life movement will ponder these same numbers and begin teaching the facts about the contraceptive connection to disease, death and destruction.

I’m not sure what diseases you can catch from the pill, but you need look no further than Iraq to see all the death and destruction caused by roadside IUDs.

Sacred cows abound in a society blessed with money, fast cars and loose morals, and among them, the most revered is contraception.

As we recently learned, once women have been given the sacred cow of contraception, they naturally and immediately begin to rut like cattle!

But as this grandmother knows all too well…

Nothing better than getting advice on your sex life from Granny.

…there will not be a victory over the direct killing of the preborn child unless and until there is unanimous agreement among the pro-life leadership of our nation that first we have to focus on contraception, discuss it openly and often, and do so armed with as many facts as we can present.

I look forward to the American Life League filing an amicus brief in the first wrongful death suit brought by a spermatozoon inside a Trojan Magnum Twister.

Easy to do? Hardly! Nonetheless, it is an absolute necessity unless we want to be struggling against the surgical abortion beast for another 36 years. Personally, I do not!

Once we’ve eliminated contraception and increased the rate of unwanted pregnancies, the surgical abortion beast should just lay down and die. They we can really roll up our sleeves and start building the Republic of Gilead.

If you want to root out the monster, here’s my prescription for truth:

PROTEST the pill Saturday by witnessing to truth outside a local pharmacy or Planned Parenthood office.

And if you wind up screaming in the face of a woman who was only buying toothpaste and Correctol, just remember…spittle is an excellent humectant, so you’ve saved her a trip to the Beauty aisle.