• Hey! We're on Twitter!

  • Buy The Book!

  •  

     

    Click to Buy The Mug

    Buy The Book

Hey look, it’s Robin of Berkeley, our favorite psycho psycho-therapist.  She’d like to have a heart-to-heart with us all about our souls, and the crappy state of municipal sanitation, so let’s all pull up a stool and cop an evil squat.

Obama and the Evil Squatters

“God is dead,” according to the existentialist Nietzsche. He might as well have been talking about Berkeley, California.

So Berkeley is dead?  There go my plans to grab a half veggie and Hawaiian pie at Fat Slice.  Thanks a lot, Nietzsche.

Think I’m exaggerating?

That’s not the first word that comes to mind when I think of you, no.  It’s just the most polite one.

Take a trip out west and spend a few days on Telegraph Avenue. Then wander over to the downtown area, Shattuck and University. If you’re really the daredevil, do so after dark, when the mean streets look positively Kafkaesque.

So then…Kafka is dead.  Okay, Nietzsche, I gotta give you that one.  But then you’re dead too; in fact, you died first, so I wouldn’t go getting all moldier than thou about it. Or maybe Robin thinks Berkeley has turned into a giant cockroach, which would explain that story of hers about how a vicious hobo fought a charismatic dancing insect to the death, and gave all of Telegraph Avenue a sad.

When I say God is dead in Berkeley, I don’t mean just that parts of the city look like a hellhole. I’m referring to the militant anti-God vibe.

As Robin tells it, the Roman Empire has returned, Berkeley is the new Coliseum, and Christians are once again being persecuted and torn apart by wild beasts for the amusement of jaded heathens.  It’s gotten so bad that Jesus, who hobnobbed with whores and lepers, can’t even count on a warm welcome from the alcoholics anymore.

There’s increasing animosity towards 12-step programs because they’re rooted in Christian theology. But the rebellion is not just from without, but also from within. In some AA meetings, members use their check-in time to lambaste Judaism and Christianity.

Maybe Jesus shouldn’t have turned the coffee into Irish coffee.  It was a good miracle, but the meeting kind of went downhill after that.

Consequently, Berkeley Christians share their religion in whispered tones.

We can only pray this catches on.

A person who has an appetite for worship may remain hungry for fear of ridicule.

You know, I’m pretty sure God can hear you, even when you use your inside voice.

While it’s perfectly acceptable in Berkeley to live openly as a bisexual, transgendered, or crossdresser, don’t dare divulge a love for God. If you do so, expect public disapproval, even contempt.

It’s not that most people object to a man loving a god, it’s just that studies show that it’s better for the children to be raised in a traditional family by a mother and father.

And yet, why don’t residents see the obvious: that’s there’s a connection between abandoning God and the un-Godliness of Berkeley’s streets? The streets are filthy and uncivil; the crime rate spirals out of control. Because if God and His followers are chased out of town, what is left?

You can’t have clean streets without Christians, because in Berkeley Christians are like the burakumin in feudal Japan — they’re the only ones allowed to tan leather and pick up trash.

But when you obscure the sunshine, only darkness remains. Seal the windows, close the blinds, and what do you have? People alone in a pitch-black world, with nothing to shield or soothe them.

Sure Robin, but have you tried it?  I don’t think you should criticize sitting alone in a sealed, dark room until you’ve really given it a chance.

22 Responses to “God Is Dead. Murdered! And Someone’s Responsible!”

She can still gay marry her closeted husband or is the gay mafia trying to stop that too?

I propose a referendum requiring all alcaholics to blame Jesus. The bastard turned nice refreshing spring water into wine and If you can think of a more egregious example of co-dependancy than that, I will tip my glass to you.

Yeah.

Every time an American Christian claims to be persecuted, it’s because they’re not allowed to frowned upon for persecute someone else.

Damn, “not allowed to” was supposed to be strikethrough.

“There’s increasing animosity towards 12-step programs because they’re rooted in Christian theology. But the rebellion is not just from without, but also from within. In some AA meetings, members use their check-in time to lambaste Judaism and Christianity.”

So, Robin, who is supposed to be some sort of therapist and is, presumably, allowed to fuck with desperate people who need actual help from a competent professional but can’t afford it, is killing time listening to “alkies” whining about their lives in the AA meeting she was assigned to monitor, and one of the scum actually dared to complain that he or she did not want to supplant one destructive addiction for another destructive addiction (religion). Since this is the time-honored recruitment for Christians to prey upon desperate and unhappy addicts, Robin is now convinced that Godlessness is rampant in her town.

Seems about right.

Think I’m exaggerating?

That’s not the first word that comes to mind when I think of you, no. It’s just the most polite one.

Well, hell, Tab across my keyboard already. I’ll be back when I’ve dried it out a bit, then. Thanks, Scott.

Hi! First time here. Glad to stop by.

So, any one care for some Coffee with Jesus ?!

He is alive and well!

~NRIGirl

~NRIGirl

Boy, Mormon Jesus would not be happy with that.

“God is dead,” according to the existentialist Nietzsche. He might as well have been talking about Berkeley, California.

Berkeley is God. Explains a LOT.

If you’re really the daredevil, do so after dark, when the mean streets look positively Kafkaesque.

She’s doing this whole existentialism thing, isn’t she? Is this the new craze, after est and Rolfing?

I’m referring to the militant anti-God vibe.

a) I’m betting there are more churches and synagogues per capita in Berkeley proper than in Marin County.

b) I wonder if she’s including anti-Muslim sentiments? After all, God…Allah…sort of the same thing, n’est ce pas?

A person who has an appetite for worship may remain hungry for fear of ridicule.

Don’t fret, Robbie. I bet there are speakeasies popping up all over campus.

And yet, why don’t residents see the obvious: that’s there’s a connection between abandoning God and the un-Godliness of Berkeley’s streets? The streets are filthy and uncivil; the crime rate spirals out of control.

So the sanitation and police departments are both run by the Vatican? Huh?

…the crime rate spirals out of control.

Yeah, about that…

Bad, yeah seems so. Spirally? Not so much.

a) I’m betting there are more churches and synagogues per capita in Berkeley proper than in Marin County.

5 minutes of googling later,

123 churches within 5 miles of zip code 94703, which is centrally located in Berkeley (no direct link available).

population =101,371

=101371/123= 824.15 people/church in berkeley proper

34 churches within 10 miles of zip 94973 (sorta centrally located in marin, 10 mile radius grabs most of county)

250,750 people in Marin

for fairness, lets double # church estimate in Marin county, since 10 mile radius doesn’t grab whole county.

=250750/68 = 3687.5 people/church

Thus, your hypothesis appears correct, with 824 per church in Berkeley, and 3687 for Marin County.

I point the finger of blame at George Lucas. Not for anything to do with this mind you, just as a general rule.

So why doesn’t Robin move down here to the Deep South? Doesn’t she expect that the high level of public religiosity (can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a church, and that’s just the Baptists) has rendered the region a crime-free paragon of beauty and cleanliness?

OT, since I’m a hell-bound non-believer who is also a dreamer, and not the only one: check out today’s google logo.

don’t dare divulge a love for God. If you do so, expect public disapproval, even contempt.

There’s this thing about whiny, unpleasant assholes — they always think it’s their beliefs, and not the fact that they are whiny, unpleasant assholes.

I know for a fact if John Yoo could walk the streets of Berkeley without being constantly doused with chicken blood, no one gives a shit about a Christian, hell, many probably are Christians. It’s true!

And yes, I’m sure there are fewer people who simply ignore the streetcorner theologians who are condemning us to hell — because earnest people most Berkeleyians are, they want to argue the point with the god botherers.

I point the finger of blame at George Lucas. Not for anything to do with this mind you, just as a general rule.

If only he hadn’t cast Hayden Christensen…

She’s right. When I tried to divulge the love of God, the fuckin’ cops told me to button up the raincoat or they’d bust me. Fuckers.

So that’s what the “Confidential” refers to…

If we have coffee with Jesus, will he bring me toast?

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/weblog/comments/5132/

Yeah, about that…
Yay, my city beats Berkeley in 3 categories! Oh, wait . . .

Nietzsche wasn’t an existentialist! Existentialist is not a fancy word for snotty possibly french atheist.

I counted twenty-one sentences from R of B. They contained precisely one ascertainable fact: that Nietzsche wrote “God is dead.”

Which is actually a pretty high fact / pulled-out-of-ass-assertion ratio for a wingnut.

I find it funny that these people are always whimpering about being a victim…yet they’re the ones most likely to pick up a gun and blow away someone whose views don’t meet with their approval.

12 step programs urge participants to accept a “higher power”. Traditionally, this meant god. More modern programs take it to mean something outside of, or larger than oneself. This could mean god, the community, the benign indifference of the universe; whatever it takes to get outside the confines of your limited personal experience. The point of 12 step programs is to stop addiction, not to “come to god”.

Something to say?