As you may have heard, the latest radical liberal threat to our freedom, jobs, and very way of life is the “Puppy Mill Cruelty Prevention Act.”
Here’s Joe the Fake Plumber to tell you why:
by Joe ‘The Plumber’ Wurzelbacher
While Americans across the country have entered the political game to save our country, moving that proverbial ball of freedom towards the end zone, we’ve been sacked. Blindsided. We’ve been so focused on legislative elections (and rightly so) that most Americans don’t even know they’ve been hit – and hit hard.
What Joe means is that Tea Partiers have been so busy protesting anchor babies and health care reform, they don’t even realize that they have received traumatic brain injuries from repetitively hitting their heads against walls.
But not by some big, burly monster like voter fraud or corruption. No, we’ve been knocked flat by the ignorance of the conservative electorate and cute little puppies licking our stunned, what-the-heck-just-happened faces.
If you have ever watched Animal Planet’s “Puppy Bowl,” you know that puppies are virtual sacking machines. And if you’ve ever seen typical Tea Partiers, you’ve seen “stunned, what-the-heck-just happened” faces a-plenty.
Well, I’ll tell you what just happened.
Thanks, Joe! When I want someone to explain the world to me, I always go an unlicensed, lying plumber.
It’s called the Humane Society of the United States cowardly hiding behind animal cruelty, lying to our citizens and taking our constitutional rights away – one state at a time.
Your constitutional rights to be cruel to animals are in jeopardy! Do something, quick!
This radical animal rights organization (HSUS), who spends less than 0.5% of its $100M + budget on actually helping animals,
They tell you up front that they are an advocacy group — so, whether you agree with what they do or not, you can’t claim that Joe just uncovered some shocking fiscal scandal. And the HSUS isn’t the only group sponsoring this proposal — others include the Humane Society of Missouri, the Missouri Alliance for Animal Legislation, the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, and Best Friends Animal Society. You want to carp about how they don’t “actually help animals”, Joe?
And why are national groups getting involved in trying to pass this legislation in MO? Well, MO is Puppy Mill Central — approximately 40% of all pet store puppies nationwide are bred in Missouri, where almost 200,000 breeding dogs produce up to a million puppies a year. Go here for more info.
is using the referendum process to slowly, systematically eliminate food production in the United States.
Because the HSUS is OPPOSED TO FOOD!
This November, HSUS is after the dog breeding industry in Missouri calling the bill the “Puppy Cruelty Prevention Act”. Great name. I mean who wouldn’t want to keep someone from being cruel to a puppy?
Apparently, Joe. (And Phyllis Schlafly. As well as MO’s Senator Blaine Luetkemeyer. And Missouri State Senators Chuck Purgason, Frank Barnitz, Wes Shoemyer, Bill Stouffer, Dan Clemens, Gary Nodler. And Missouri State Representatives Kenny Jones, Mike Parson, Mike Dethrow, Jim Viebrock, Rodney Schad, Jason Smith, Brian Munzlinger, Tom Loehner, Therese Sander, David Day, and Dan Brown.)
The problem is Missouri already HAS laws protecting animals – all animals.
If you for one minute think that the existing laws are preventing thousands of dogs and puppies from being cruelly exploited for profit in Missouri, go here: .
Missouri’s Proposition B makes it a “crime of cruelty” for a piece of dog food to be in a water bowl
No, Joe, it doesn’t. It calls for providing potable water at all times — nowhere does it state that having one piece of kibble in a bowl is a crime. But hey, if you think the dogs already have it so good in Missouri’s 3,000 puppy mills, I dare you to go drink out of the dishes in any of the mills.
or for a dog breeder to treat their own pet if they become ill (even with something as simple as a cold).
Well, it does stipulate that necessary euthanasia must be performed by a vet, so yeah, the practice of breeders “treating” their “pets” by clubbing them to death when they are too ill to be profitable would no longer be legal.
This would almost be comical if it weren’t for the OTHER, more insidious parts of this bill that hit at the very core of our liberties.
The framers of the constitution would be rolling in their graves if they heard that your right to own more than 50 breeder dogs (and their attendant puppies, which could number in the 100-200 range at any given time) is in peril. Because the freedom to cruelly exploit puppies for profit is what our country was founded on!
This bill forces breeders to limit the number of dogs they can own – regardless of care. Think about this a minute . . . . Should the government have the right to limit the number of houses a realtor can sell?
If houses were living, breathing creatures that required adequate care, facilities, and attention to be happy and healthy, then yeah, maybe the government should have the right to limit the number of houses that a realtor could breed for sale.
These new regulations will put almost every breeder in Missouri out of business
Because even though Puppy Millers sell their poorly-bred, frequently unhealthy puppies for hundreds of dollars each, it seems that they can’t afford to treat their animals humanely and still make a tidy profit. Sad, isn’t it?
forcing the price of dogs to sky rocket and allowing pet ownership only for the very wealthy.
Yeah, because if there is one problem facing dogs these days, it’s the fact that they are just too scarce.
Hey, Joe, if for some reason my sarcasm isn’t getting through to you, go to one of the numerous municipal animal shelters in Missouri, or anywhere for that matter, and look into the faces of the dogs and puppies that are going to be euthanized that day because THERE AREN’T ENOUGH HOMES FOR ALL OF THE UNWANTED DOGS. Joe, you stupid, lying scumbag, I hope you get a real glow of pleasure knowing that you are a tool for some of the most greedy, heartless bastards on the planet, the puppy millers.
Anyway, I’d better stop now before I urge locking Joe in a wire crate that cuts into his feet, with no room to turn around, with urine and feces raining down on him from the occupant of the cage above him, stacked in an unheated, non-air-conditioned building.– and forcing him to stay there for his entire life.
So, yeah, Tea Partiers, you found a cause to be proud of.
While Americans across the country have entered the political game to save our country, moving that proverbial ball of freedom towards the end zone, we’ve been sacked.
Cuz, goodness knows, we can’t imagine the American people would be distracted by some celebriwannabe who’s not even a plumber…
No, we’ve been knocked flat by the ignorance of the conservative electorate and cute little puppies licking our
That’s not your face, JoeSam. I mean, you may think so, and it’s on a head, but that head is pretty small, even by Republican standards…
It’s called the Humane Society of the United States cowardly hiding behind animal cruelty, lying to our citizens and taking our constitutional rights away – one state at a time.
Wait. He’s complaining about a private charitable organization now?
This radical animal rights organization (HSUS), who spends less than 0.5% of its $100M + budget on actually helping animals
Nevermind that 94.5% of the rest of its budget goes towards education and those idiotic infomercials that model themselves on Sarah Palin’s campaign…
is using the referendum process to slowly, systematically eliminate food production in the United States.
This November, HSUS is after the dog breeding industry in Missouri calling the bill the “Puppy Cruelty Prevention Act”.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I don’t like eating puppy.
Pussy, on the other lip…
These new regulations will put almost every breeder in Missouri out of business
Like anyone who wants a puppy couldn’t just find one, probably abandoned by a foreclosed family.
But hey! It’s not like THIS ISSUE ISN’T A FUCKING DISTRACTION, YOU CLOWN CAR FASCIST!
Left by actor212 on October 8th, 2010