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Archive for September 29th, 2009

Defend Pretend Whore Hannah Giles!

Posted by scott on September 29th, 2009

HannaHoandSuperflyOKeefe.jpgPoor Hannah Giles.  All she wanted was another excuse to swan about in that hooker outfit she cobbled together for the Pimps ‘n’ Ho’s fraternity mixer, and to prevent ACORN from registering any more black voters.  And what is her reward for preserving the franchise against poor people?  Not only threats of lawsuits from the cashiered subjects of her innocent prank, but also the very real possibility that she and her Mack Daddy James O’Keefe (whose street name is “Superfly,” or “Ichabod Crane” or something like that) could be charged with violating Maryland’s statute on recording a person without their consent.  I ask you, where is the justice?  Do these overreaching prosecutors even care about the child sex slavery ring these two amateur sleuths invented and exposed at the same time?

I think not, and Hannah’s non-Mack Daddy, Doug Giles, feels the same way:

Listen all on the left and the right: Hannah’s motive for doing what she did to ACORN was moral, not political. Her BS detector went off on that organization, and she tackled it. It’s that simple.

In fact, so finely attuned is Hannah’s moral antennae, that she could sense ACORN was engaging in illegal and scandalous practices before she even knew what ACORN did.  Or was.

In her appearance on Hannity last night (9/14/09), Giles revealed that she hatched her plan to go after ACORN’s housing division before she knew anything about it…When asked about the “pattern” of ACORN corruption, Giles offered this “insight” that strongly suggested she hadn’t a clue about the organization beyond her own experience with it. “There’s a pattern and, um,… we knew what we were going into. We’d studied ACORN. We didn’t know about them before we came up with the idea, really. And then we studied them. And we learned what they’re about so the way we approached them was, was what got it.”

It’s a shame law enforcement can’t apply this same positive, results-oriented approach without it being called “entrapment,” or “clairvoyance.”  I mean, it worked perfectly well in Minority Report.  Anyway, back to Doug:

Here’s a little FYI to ACORN and the few media outlets defending ACORN by defaming Giles and O’Keefe’s faith, politics and tactics: You are ticking off the majority of Americans breathing air on our God-blessed United States soil.

Exactly!  Two hundred million people respirating on dirt are outraged that random bloggers have suggested that Hannah inherited the self-promoting dumbass gene from Daddy (I’m leaving out 100 million Americans to allow for the percentage of the population that may be ticked off, but is currently breathing air on our non-sectarian linoleum and blacktop).

Then Doug takes it over the top with the single funniest sentence he has ever written:

If you don’t believe me, just ask Frank Luntz.

Damn, now I owe myself a keyboard.

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But it’s not just the paternal instinct that is aroused by attacks on the integrity of the Happily Ignorant Hooker.  Creepy-looking strangers, such as Townhall’s Kevin McCullough, are also aroused by Hannah, and eager to embrace her cause until it becomes uncomfortable, and she can’t stop wondering what that smell is.  Kevin, as you may recall, is an old friend of the blog, going back to the Salon days, and holds the record for the most consecutive uses of the “aptly named World O’ Crap” trope in a single rejoinder.  So naturally, when he speaks, we lend an attentive ear:

Over the last few weeks two courageous young people did the nation a favor by accomplishing something the media establishment, the President, and the people’s servants–Congress, would not. Through the simple act of asking questions, these two twenty-somethings produced perhaps the most effective sting operation ever performed against a crooked organization that seeks to rot society at large through its own diseased corruption…

On the video tapes seen-round-the-world, ACORN workers, literally from sea to shining sea, advised fraud, bragged about murder, and confessed to their own past operations of prostitution agencies. Some of them, including the self proclaimed killer, lauded the current administration as being able to “get things done.”

Like Hannah (I Was A Hooker For The YAF) Giles, and her partner, Pimp Master Melanin-Free, Kevin apparently doesn’t realize that the ACORN staffer who “confessed to murder” was in fact merely fighting Punk’d with punking. Or perhaps he believes that whatever is surreptitiously captured on video, even if it’s not true, becomes true by virtue of being aired on FoxNews, in which cause he should probably hasten to ask Hannah for her rate sheet, and if she takes Discover®.

Speaking of which, thanks to Doug’s latest column, you can get in on the ground floor of Hannah’s lawsuits and indictments, or just tip her for a job well done:

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Unrolled dollar bills with a minimum of coke residue preferred.