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Archive for January 6th, 2009

Letter From Birmingham Fail

Posted by scott on January 6th, 2009

I’ve been up since 5 A.M. with a cluster headache, and really wasn’t looking forward to combing the wingnut sites today, even assuming the medication kicks in.  So imagine my relief and joy upon opening up my email to find a scouting report from our old friend Bill S., who has taken the Search for America’s Next Top Wingnut to heart.  But I’ll let him tell you all about it himself.  Take it away, Bill! …

Recently, the folks at World O’Crap were asking if there were any new wingnuts on the landscape we should watch out for. I came across one on Jeremy Hooper’s website Good As You. It’s a letter from one L. Pat Williams that he received and decided to share. Armed with a patronizing attitude which he uses to defeat an army of strawman (in his defence, they are Super Ninja Strawmen), I think L. Pat is a Wingnut To Watch Out For. Now, if you’re familiar with the site Good As You, you probably know that, though he isn’t a pushover,  Jeremy is far too nice to people who don’t deserve it. I, on the other hand, adhere to rules for niceness and after reading this rambling bit of jaw-dropping idiocy, I feel it’s time…to not be nice.


The “Rainbow” Community does more HARM  to itself rather than HELPING its beleagured, so-called “freedom fighter” cause!
Let me give you some pointers than can help you out:

As long as they’re not pointers in English Comp., go ahead.

*Stop using the PLIGHT OF OTHERS (blacks, women, latinos, asians, disabled americans, at-risk-children, children in Cambodia, Nelson Mandela, etc.) OK…I’m being facetious after “disabled americans” :-)

I think the word he meant to write was “fatuous”.

EXAMPLE: BLACKS DID NOT RELY ON ANY OTHER “suffering group” TO GAIN SUPPORT FOR THEMSELVES AS A “suffering group” OR “Woe is me Black…” But, “Have mercy on me Black…because you Had Mercy on them (Whoever)”

I want everyone to know that I did not, in any way, edit the above paragraph. That’s exactly what he wrote. I have no idea what he’s on about. I don’t remember any “Woe is me” vibe coming from ACT UP, and I’m fairly certain that nobody involved in the Stonewall riot was screaming “Have mercy on us” to the cops.


Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to alienate those plights and struggles any furthers.

[Now, now...I know you THINK the GAY PLIGHT is the SAME as THE BLACK PLIGHT...BUT]

I do? You can read my mind? Guess what I’m thinking right now.

No one is stopping GAYS  from getting JOBS! Arguably, some of the MOST WEALTHIEST INDIVIDUALS  in the U.S. and in the WORLD that sit atop Corporations, Congess, Media, Hollywood, Music and Fashion Industries are: HOMOSEXUAL!

Really? The most wealthiest individuals sitting atop Congress in the U.S. and in the world are gay? I did not know that. But it’s good to know that gay people can find success in such non-competitive fields as performing arts and fashion. If I just learn to act, sing, dance or sew, I can quit my shitty job at a grocery store and become a millionaire!

On a related note, some of the wealthiest athletes are African American, and some of the most successful models are female. So if all blacks just learn to play basketball, and all women just slim down to 90 pounds, they’ll never have to struggle to pay their bills.

No one is stopping GAYS from VOTING!

Perhaps not, but they are killed in a variety of gruesome ways (Short list: Matthew Shepard, Brandon Teena, Rebecca Wight, Paul Brussard, Allan Shindler, Saskia Gunn, Scotty Joe Weaver, Barry Winchell…i could go on. Unfortunately.)

No one is Stopping GAYS from GETTING AN EDUCATION!

Except for people pushing abstinance-only sex ed., which ignores LGBT people entirely, thus depriving them of information that could save their lives.

I am sure Gays feel that their issue is IMPORTANT, but in light of the OPPRESSION  of BLACKS, JEWS, and WOMEN you guys gotta GROW UP, GET REAL and GAIN SOME INSIGHT…

Well, how’s this: until 1962, gay sex was a felony in all 50 states, and in some of them the penalty was life in prison. It’s taken 40 years for some of those laws to finally be repealed or invalidated. Try and guess why it’s taken so long, jackass.

I mean so what??? If my own mother and father don’t like who I make love to, spend time with, make babies with (well, you guys can’t quite do that…but that’s another discussion) OH WELL! TOUGH COOKIES! They’ll get over it and if they never get over it…Again SO WHAT?

And if they decide to try and “cure” you by shipping you off to some rehab facity run by a quack who takes a peculiar interest in the type of underwear you own, so what? And if they kick you out and cut off all communication with you and refuse to acknowlege your relationship with your partner, so what? And if, after years of estrangement, you happen to become critically ill and they suddenly show up and make medical decisions that override your wishes because your partner isn’t regarded as a legal spouse, so what? And if you pass away and they kick your partner out of the home you shared because your name’s on the lease, again, SO WHAT?

It’s like really you guys would be MOST surprised to KNOW  that HETEROSEXUALS donn’t CARE WHO YOU DO! But, we we DO CARE ABOUT is YES…Just because you guys “feel” what you do is “NORMAL” doesn’t mean YOU SHOULD FORCE OTHERS  to “feel” THE SAME WAY about what you DO.


We uppity homos just don’t know our place!

[my grandma used to tell us as kids: "Watch a person who needs a CROWD to JOIN IN and HELP THEM DO what they want to do...It's a SURE SIGN something is "WRONG" with what their doing..."

Granted, she was talking about all those "negroes" who were marching on Washington in '63, but it's a valid point nonetheless.

She also said (God Rest Her Soul)"...When you KNOW in YOUR HEART  you are DOING THE RIGHT THING you CAN STAND IN IT and STAND ON IT ALONE!"]

Then she went to our door and called out her her old dog Sheba. We didn’t have the heart to remind her he’d been dead for 10 years.

Which brings me to my next few points:

There’s MORE? Oh dear God, no…

*Show why those who practice Homosexuality are NOT in ERROR, are NOT mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically disturbed.

Well, there is the fact that the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the American Medical Association all agree it’s not a disorder. There’s about 50-60 years worth of studies that bear this out.

NOTE: But, you see that’s kind of hard to do, when such a community is so SEXUALLY-DRIVEN, SEXUALLY CHARGED, and everything seems to REVOLVE and EVOLVE around SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, and…wait a minute…EVEN MORE SEX!
I did some research…

Oh, I’m sure you have. Doors locked. Shades drawn. I hope..

I noticed that in the Rainbow Community (from selling shoes to booze, toes to nose, hat to cat, shirt to skirt, jacket to racket, food to lewd) is ultra drenched in the SELLING OF SEX.

Yeah. I mean, check out the ad (below the fold) that ran in The Advocate. The American Famly Association launched a protest, and why wouldn’t they? It’s absolutely SHOCKING!