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Archive for January 1st, 2009

Should Auld Acquaintances Be Forgot?

Posted by s.z. on January 1st, 2009

The answer to the above is, “Yeah, a lot of them probably should.”

But hey, it’s New Year’s Day, and we have nothing better to do that look up an old Wo’C acquaintance or two.So, let’s start with Canada’s answer to Ann Coulter, one Rachel Marsden.  (Apparently Ann asked Canada, “What do you think of me?” and they answered, “We think you are hateful and unappealing, so please leave us alone, and take Rachel Marsden for your trouble.”  And that is how we ended up with Rachel.)

In case you don’t recall Rachel, here’s a brief recap of her career:

In 1997 she seduced her swim coach at Simon Fraser University, stalked him when he tried to break up with her, then charged him with date rape when he tried to ignore her.  This was the case that put her on the map, in that it caused the coach to get fired, caused many good people a lot of unnecessary grief, and cost her college lot of money, both in dealing with the case, and then to reinstate and compensate the swim coach when the truth came out.

While at SFU, she also:  * Seduced then stalked one of her college professors.

 * Seduced (in a non-sexual way) then stalked the college sexual harassment officer her helped her file her case.

After graduation, she decided that a career in wingnuttery was the one for her:  She went on to write columns for such no-rent sites as GOPUSA, and American Daily.  She claimed in her bio to have written for McLeans magazine and the National Post, but it later was discovered that her contributions consisted of a letter to the editor.  She was hired by Paul Weyrich’s Free Congress Foundation, but resigned after she was arrested for stalking again.

Yes, in 2002 she seduced a 52-year old Vancouver radio personality.  When he told her he never wanted to see her again, she did not take it well.  And when she learned he has started to date another woman, she harassed him and his family via the phone and emails for almost a month.  She was arrested for this one, convicted of stalking, and sentenced to a year’s probation.

A bit later, under the name of “Elle Henderson,” she worked in the office of Gurmant Grewal, a Conservative member of Parliament.  She was fired after the Vancouver Sun figured out who she was.  She then used the to media to badmouth Conservative party leader Stephen Harper, presumably for having the Conservative Party break up with her — but she did not stalk it, as far as I know.  She also had brief careers with a couple of conservative Canadian newspapers, just biding her time until her probation was over and she could immigrate to America, the land of bread and wingnuts.

When we last checked on Rachel a couple of years ago, she had apparently found her niche: being one of the sex kittens/wingnut babes at Fox News.  She was a frequent guest on the “The Dennis Miller Flash in the Pan” and “The O’Reilly Factor”, and had also appeared on other Fox shows.

Now, for the update:

May 31, 2007 — SECURITY officers hastily escorted “Red Eye” contributor Rachel Marsden out of Fox News Channel’s Midtown headquarters yesterday for bizarre and erratic behavior. “She’s out of her [bleeping] mind. She was doing crazy stuff,” a spy told us. The brown-haired hottie is notorious in Canada, where authorities say she falsely accused a university swim coach of sexual harassment and harassed a Vancouver radio personality. A Fox News rep had no comment. EYE-OPENER- New York Post

Rachel was doing crazy stuff??? Say it ain’t so, Roger Ailes!  Rachel later publicly badmouthed Fox News for breaking up with her, but did not stalk it, as far as is known.

But wait, there’s more!  Here’s part of her Wikipedia bio:

In September 2007, a relationship between Marsden and an Ontario Provincial Police officer ended. She posted his photo and identified him on her blog as an anti-terrorism officer who had leaked secret anti-terrorism documents to her. At the same time, in an email to his superiors, she described the nationality and activities of the targets of an investigation in Ontario involving the OPP, Canadian Security Intelligence Service and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and problems encountered by those investigators. The officer filed a complaint of criminal harassment against Marsden with the South Simcoe Police, claiming her actions compromised his safety, but this did not result in criminal charges. The OPP’s criminal investigations branch did not lay criminal charges against the officer. A separate internal investigation into the alleged leak of classified information by the officer is currently ongoing.

So, yes, she seduced a guy in authority, stalked him after her dumped her, and then broke into his house to boil his rabbit and kidnap his kid tried to ruin his career and send him to jail in retaliation for ignoring her.  Are you beginning to sense a pattern here?

But wait, there’s even more!  Here’s more of Rachel’s Wikipedia bio:

On more than one occasion Marsden asked Wikipedia to delete her biography on the site. Her concerns led her to contact Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy Wales in 2006, claiming that it was wrong and libellous. He reviewed her biography and, deeming that it was not up to standard, reportedly helped her to clean up the entry.On February 29, 2008, the technology gossip blog Valleywag claimed that Wales and Marsden had entered into a relationship, and published instant messaging chats that they had allegedly exchanged. On the following day Wales announced on his Wikipedia user page that he was no longer involved with her. In return, Marsden, who claimed to have learned about the breakup by reading about it on the Internet, turned to eBay and put up for auction a t-shirt and sweater with white stains that she claimed belonged to Wales.

Aw, who could have predicted that a romance between an older, powerful, married guy and sweet little Rachel Marsden wouldn’t end with them living happily ever after?

Anyway, while there were claims that Wales was involved in a conflict of interest for redacting the bio of a woman he was sleeping with, he said that he changed the bio, THEN she slept with him, presumably in a quid pro quo arrangement, so it was all above board. 

And to those of you who might find it amusing that Wales apparently didn’t find out until it was too late that Rachel is scary/crazy (you’d think he would have at least Googled her or something), Scott offered this defense of Mr. Wikipedia: “Hey, he’s a nerd, and he isn’t used to hot woman hitting on him.”  And yeah, she probably did email him this photo:


But I still find the matter so entertaining that I have to share with Rachel’s Revenge, courtesy of, um, Fox News.

“Hi, my name is Rachel and my (now ex) boyfriend, broke up with me on Wikipedia.  It was such a classy move [by Mr Wales] that I was inspired to do something equally classy myself, so I’m selling a couple of items of clothing he left behind, here in my NYC apartment, on eBay,” she explained to buyers.  

“Jimbo was supposed to come visit me in a couple of weeks and pick up some of his stuff, but obviously that won’t be happening now,” she wrote. “Both of these items have been washed, twice, with Tide extra-strength liquid detergent. Otherwise, they would not be in salable condition. I took them out of GitMo style isolation from a plastic bag in my closet (where they were placed to prevent the ongoing terrorism of my olfactory senses) and washed them out for the purposes of this auction,” she said.

“PS: Sorry that my hair is such a mess,” Marsden adds. “I’m in breakup mode right now and really couldn’t be bothered.”


She doesn’t look so good now, does she, Jimmy?

Fox also provided excerpts from some of the couple’s steamy IMs (messages which Rachel saved, presumably for stalking purposes after the inevitable dumping).  This one was my favorite:

In another exchange carried on Valleywag the pair compare broadband services around the world, and Wales complains about the miserly download speeds offered in America.

“When you talk about megabits and broadband, you have no idea what that does to me,” she replies provocatively.

Hot stuff!

Anyway, Wikipedia is now engaged in a fund drive, possibly in order to get enough money to pay off Rachel before she sells Wales’ underwear and jock itch medication.  Rachel has been picked up as a columnist by Human Events Online (Motto: “We’ll be featuring that Ann Coulter blog any day now”), and Town Hall (Motto: “You can never be too boring, too stupid, or too crazy to write for Town Hall”).

Men, this cautionary tale has been brought to you by Townhall’s KLo, who warns you that abstinence is the only safe sex (Kathryn Jean Lopez : Talking About Sex-Ed that Works).

But women, you’re not off the hook, as next time we will feature auld acquaintance Dennis Prager, who has written TWO columns on why you are required to have sex with your husband whenever he wants it, even if you don’t feel like it.  (Spoiler: Because it’s your job, sister!)

See you then.  And Happy New Year!

Bailey The Huggable Hangover Hound Says Happy New Year!

Posted by scott on January 1st, 2009

I was talking to s.z. last night about how 2008 had occasioned more whiplash-inducing mood swings than any other year of the Bush Restoration.  By virtually every reasonable metric, 2008 was a crap year of mythically crappy dimensions, mad in shape and purpose; and yet, it had it’s moments, and one historically uncraptacular peak of hope and joy in particular.  Looking back, we decided that 2008 felt like living through a year in which Hollywood offered nothing but films like Batman & Robin, Hercules in New York, The Postman, Zardoz, Highlander II: The Quickening, and Druids, until finally, you drag yourself to the movies on Thanksgiving Day, already depressed after your parents got drunk on Italian Swiss Colony Rosé at dinner, and your mother started reminiscing about your bedwetting, and your cousins got in a fistfight on the patio over a roach, and then your dad backed his Monte Carlo into your grandma’s collection of lawn gnomes.  But as you sit slumped in the theater, listlessly transferring popcorn from the bag to your mouth like one of those penny arcade claw machines, the lights go down, and suddenly you see a trailer for The.  Single.  Coolest.  Movie.  EVER!

But it doesn’t open until January.


Happy New Year, everyone.