OFFICIAL RULES
Friends, relatives, and pets of World O’ Crap are all eligible. Offer void in Utah. Contractors are ineligible, since they should be outside finishing the damn fence instead of trying to figure out how Pastor Swank turns simple declarative English sentences into Mobius Strips. Also, even though he’s been kind enough to favor us with a visit from time to time, J. Grant Swank is ineligible to enter the contest and write like himself, because we?re just simple country folk, and that?s way too meta for us.
Anyway, the rules are simple (actually there?s only two):
1. Pick an item from the news (preferably one that would inspire the Wingnuts of Rohan to mount their hobbyhorses and lead a thunderous charge down the hallway and once more unto the Bonus Room until Mom shouts at them to go outside, it?s a nice day); and then write a short screed in the manner of your favorite conservative pundit, think tank intellectual or basement-dwelling blogger. Please identify the subject of your portraiture by name, because I always do really poorly in that ?Who Said It?? thing.
2. No cut and pasting a rightwing jeremiad and then entering it as a paean to Ben Domenech. Yes, we?re onto you. It?s sad, really; with your brains and initiative, you could have done something great, used your powers for the good of Mankind. Oh well?At least if you can stop being such a Clever Boots for once you can use it to win a nice mug.
And that?s it. We?ll be posting a picture of the Grand (well, only) Prize as soon as I can find my camera.