2. No cut and pasting a rightwing jeremiad and then entering it as a paean to Ben Domenech.

Crap. There goes my entry…

Left by Cynthia on May 1st, 2006

Dear NRA member,

I am a huge fan. In fact, I am probably the next president of the NRA.

I would like to cordially invite you to the DRS (Demons to Re-elect Satan) Republican convention party. We have lots of fun games planned. Games like �pin the blame on the donkey� and �spin the fore-fathers in their graves.� We even have a pinata in the shape of the bill of rights. We will smash that baby to bits!!! And whoever smashes it first will see it is filled with little oil tankers!!

We are also giving away prizes and trinkets. We have little angel pins with only one wing (the right one)and we have expensive food, wine and live music paid for by the Union Local 666 retirement fund. They won�t even miss it until it�s too late. Well, I hope you can come, it will be so much fun!!! I have attached a map, it is not the shortest route, but it is the route with the best roads, cuz after all, we can�t be spending money on infrastructure when there are pristine wild nature areas to conquer!!! Hope to see you soon!!

Your biggest fan,

Dick Cheney

Left by Blackie on May 1st, 2006

Here’s my attempt at Malkin. (Hope this paragraph thingy works.)

Mr. Jose Garcia, a Mexican and therefore presumably an illegal immigrant and potential terrorist, was spotted at the Quaker party to celebrate the deaths of American soldiers. To prove they were celebrating the deaths of Amercian soldiers, here’s a picture of Mr. Garcia smiling.

Mr. Garcia lives at 123 NotAWingnut Street in Podunk, Idaho. His phone number is 555-5555. His email is SaveMeFromWingnuts @Heeelp.com. He started wearing a bulletproof vest after seeing me, but there’s a gun shop at 225 KillEmAll Street that sells armor-piercing ammo.

I do not condone death threats.

Left by Tara the anti-social social worker on May 1st, 2006

I’m scared that if I enter and truly try to win that I’d either have to:
1) soak my brain in a vat of gin the size of Christopher Hitchen’s ego (and I don’t like the taste of gin)
2) contract rabies, with the resulting loss of appetite, sore throat, Abnormal Behavior,
Anxiety, Confusion/Disorientation, Delirium
and Hallucinations
3) ingest enough Cheetos to give myself a permanent neon orange glow
or
4)induce a state of asphyxia long enough to destroy 99.99% of my functioning brain cells.

unfortunately none of those sound harmless or easily reversible, so I may dabble, but doubt I’ll dive headlong into that empty swimming pool

Left by preznit giv me turkee on May 1st, 2006

I’ll attempt Bortz;

I hate government schools, I hate all Black people even though Royal works here and he’s Black but I can stand him becuase he acts so white, and I hate the parasites from New Orleans. And by parasites, I mean real American citizens in the lower middle class who aren’t white. Real people without homes, now living in motels. I call ‘em “Roach motels”, heh heh. God, am I funny. Looking. Oh yeah…I fly airplanes, and most air traffic controllers are jerks. Probably because they’re not white and went to gov’t flight schools. Because there’s SO many Evangelical Flight Schools to choose from. And I hate writers who go off on tangents.

By the way, can we kill another bunch of Muslims soon? Aren’t Muslims sorta-Black? If so, yea! And, of course, by Muslim, I mean anyone just east of Europe. Is that a tad too general? I’m sorry…being so racist prevents me from actually using a map, which is OK, because maps are products of gov’t schools. And there’s always at least one dark-colored country on every map, and we can’t be having that.

I’d write more, but I’m too busy trying on hoods and yammering about my Unfair Tax.

Sincerely,
Neal Boor-tz

Left by Punchy on May 1st, 2006

Heh. Heh.

Indeed.

Read the whole thing.

Left by Semanticleo on May 1st, 2006

BASEMENT-DWELLING BLOGGER:
Well, it must be Stalin’s birthday, or something, because the moonbats are out in force again. Coming out (heh-indeedy!) to support one of their own. This time it’s Jon Stewart’s sick butt-buddy, Stephen Colbert. Seems he made some pretty nasty statements about Dear Leader’s lovely and unassuming (yet Queenly) First Lady (best kind, right?) directly to Dear Leader… in front of lots of Liberal media types and Hollyweird actors, no less. I don’t have all the facts here, but I don’t really need ALL of them, either. The few I’ve read about in this comments section already have me so steamed, I’d like to take that aluminum baseball bat again and go out to that place where all the …. [snip] Anyway, I read over there on Little Green Footballs that there was this party, see, and the Left-Wing media all got together and started making fun of the President and threatening his wife and on and on … and swearing a blue streak! Why I head there were words that would make a trucker blush. It was a bunch of black guys, mostly, and that Colbert ass leading the pack. God, I just hate them … treating Dear Leader so poorly in a room with only Liberals who wouldn’t come to his aid! Angrily, Hilizzalezzie. P.S. “Praise Jesus’ name.”

(Okay, the above, but with lots more misspellings, and fractured syntax, and possibly ALL-CAPS… but, heck, that’s tough to do & get one’s point across (yes, I tried it that way first). Maybe the Wnuts do have a certain kind of idiotic talent, then. Getting an idiotic idea out, without benefit of truly speaking the lingo… don’t know why they’re so worried about those Spanish speakers taking over and forcing them to have to learn to butcher yet another language?)

Left by IncandenzaH on May 1st, 2006

“Friends, relatives, and pets of World O� Crap are all eligible. Offer void in Utah.”

Offer void in Utah, well crap, I have to move to do this?

Left by UTLiberal on May 1st, 2006

Anonymous Jesus Freak that is a Repressed Homosexual that Spells Badly

What is with yuo fucking fagget don’t yuo get it? Jesus is for ths war on terror he wants us to be safe and he would have lovd that we the true Amercans meaning the white people are suporting the man who in my opinion is the Christ Reborn that is right Presdent George W. Bush is our savor, that you lefties would call him a bloodthirsty warmanger just makes me love him all the more. So if you don�t like Presdent George W. Bush you hate America so go suck a cock you fucking motherfuckers!! Presdent George W. Bush will make this country GRAET again yuo ass ponding turd burglars what Presdent George W. Bush needs to do is start booting all you libral traitors, the colors, and jews out of The New Amercan Christen Nation! That is what Jesus would really do!! You fuck-face ass-clowns wouldn’t know Jesus if he crapped in yuor no-caff-latte.

(This was tuff, I have a headache just typing this tripe. How they can spew this stuff day in and day out no wonder they have no sense of humor. The spelling I did find kind of funny that they spell that badly is always good for a laugh. The homophobia is pathetic as well as the out and out racism flaunting is just repugnant. The twisted use of the teaching of Jesus is just bizarre really, but they are not the brightest candles are they?)

Left by Nix on May 1st, 2006

I’d just like to say that with the illegal aliens barely making their illegal presence felt in the streets from Godless San Francisco, to the cradle of God Houston, that I would like to tell liberals to SHUT UP. Just SHUT UP, okay? There was no protest today, and it had no effect on me, or my house which for some unexplained reason went uncleaned today. On an unrelated topic, I’m looking for some new slav…er…house keepers that don’t give in to liberal days of protest. I repeat that the protest today meant nothing.
See you in the No Spin Zone – Bill

Left by Saskboy on May 1st, 2006

I’d like to try my hand at a Malkin blog entry, except please try and imagine where the links go yourselves. It isn’t tough.

MOONBAT ILLEGALS MARCH

More unhinged moonbats:

(pasted text about one specific illegal immigrant who said something unsavory)

Don’t forget about this. Or that guy who said this.

Allah Pundit gets it:

—
Holy fuck, do I hate these illegal aliens.
—

More here. BigJim has posted some pics of illegals. LaShawn Barber agrees, and gets it.

More here.

Wonder if the MSM will cover this? I’m not holding my breath.

By the way, click here to see those Muslim cartoon from a few months ago.

LaShawn Barber still gets it.

WaPo. Reuters. Sports Illustrated. CNN. Pottery Barn.

Reader Janet is fed up:

—
I advocate the killing of all illegals, and I’m not kidding.
—

Let’s see if the MSM advocates the killing of all illegals. I’m not holding my breath.

PREVIOUS
Moonbats on parade
Look at these moonbats
Illegal moonbats
Illegals: “We exist”
Look at me make a big show about disagreeing with President Bush
Goodnight, Moonbat
I’m not holding my breath

Left by john on May 2nd, 2006

LIKE LICKING A DOGS ANUS
The only thing worse than having to watch all these ungrateful illegals shitting all over the constitution is knowing how much the MSM enjoys parading them about like a bunch of stud-bulls at a state fair. All these moose-sucking liberals want is an excuse to tax hard working Americans, and welfare for the unwashed hordes descending from the south is the perfect recipe. I’d rather give my pooch a rim job. Dissent is TREASON in this country and anywon waving a non-American flag is a traitor who ought to have his balls bitten off by a patriotic labrador. VIVA ABU GREAB!!!

Left by Bill on May 2nd, 2006

Clever boots, eh? Well, I’ll put on those clever boots, along with my cynical chaps and witty thong–urgh, ouch, ok, no thong–and try to come up with something on my way to work. Be back soon…thongless.

Left by Thorlac on May 2nd, 2006

I’m not “sure” I see the value of this “contest” you’ve started, here. Surely, the values of this country – founded under one God – will lead good, trustworthy “folks” to hike up their leopard-striped britches in indignation and go elsewhere for “fun.” And so it should be. Heck, why don’t we just rename our whole gosh-darned country the United States O’Crap? Things are sliding down a “slippery” slope, most assuredly. Why, just look at Wal*Mart… all those foreign items! Which doesn’t mean Wal*Mart is bad – heavens no – it means my fat ass won’t fit into petite clothing made by foreigners and that’s just one step away from saying “Welcome, persons other than Americans!” Stop this madness now, but… That’s just my opinion.

Left by heydave channeling Grogan on May 2nd, 2006

Well, I’d like to try to enter something, but I’m having a hard time typing today. My knuckles still hurt from that whacking they took by S.Z.’s ruler yesterday. Man, she’s STRICT! But then, I suppose certain marine-sargeant qualities are useful when one is dealing with a WORLD O’ CRAP!

Left by BeginningToWonder on May 2nd, 2006

It is time for the shrill moonbats of the left wing to stop hating America. Leftwing commie traitors need to realize the superiority of our supervisors. It is our job as Americans to punch our clocks, live in fear of big brother and accept our lot. Who needs a better life. You have cable? You get a vacation? Your kids not hooked on dope? Quit worrying about your rights. Do your rights matter when some thug is screwing your daughter in your bedroom?

Left by mr g on May 2nd, 2006

[...] (No, I haven’t lost my mind.� Really.) [...]

Left by Blog of the Moderate Left » Blog Archive » Boxing Helena on May 2nd, 2006

This is in honor of this little bit of insanity (http://powerlineblog.com/archives/013942.php) by Hindrocket:

John Hinderaker wrote yesterday, on the subject of Iran:

It seems to me that the case for military action against Iran, designed not just to set back its nuclear program but to change its form of government, is at least as strong as it was with regard to Iraq.

I don�t disagree with this, but I would go farther. One option�the most aggressive anyone is discussing�is, as Hinderaker says, to engage in another glorious, successful military adventure in Iran. But suppose such a strike is successful, and succeeds in bringing the same kind of stability and peace to Iran as we have in Iraq. The mullahs, in that scenario, are still in charge in Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Kuwait, Yemen, Lebanon, Syria, and Palestine, not to mention Libya and Morocco and some other countries, too. And the theory behind merely overthrowing the government of Iran is, presumably, that the continuation of power of other Muslim states is acceptable.

But how is this any different than our policy toward Iran between 2001 and 2006? The debate, as to Iran, was between those who believed that regime change was necessary and those who thought we could simply keep Tehran in a box. What happened in practice was that the U.S. government argued for regime change, but settled for the box. This changed, however, after September 11 and/or when the Bush administration�s poll numbers dropped below 40%. Soon, hopefully, we will engage in a new war in Persia.

But how is this different than, say, Morocco in the absence of a military invasion? Indeed, the situation in the rest of the Muslim world will be much worse: no puppet regime, no sanctions, and certainly no UN inspections. As far as I know, Syria is preparing nuclear weapons in a laboratory in Damascus, but not chemical or biological weapons. But those weapons are even easier to make. If we take over Iran, but leave other Muslim regimes in place, isn�t the risk some other regime equipping terrorist organizations (several of which are Muslim) with chemical or biological weapons at least as great as it was in Iraq? If it wasn�t acceptable to try to keep Iraq or Iran in a box, why should we pursue the same strategy with respect to other Muslim nations?

It seems to me that the case for military action against every single Muslim nation, from Indonesia in the East to Morocco in the West, designed not just to set back any hypothetical nuclear programs but to change their forms of government, is at least as strong as it was with Iraq and Iran. But it appears equally clear that the traitorous U.S. public isn�t particularly interested in the sort of conflict that a massive war against every single living Muslim would entail. So by default, it appears we seem destined�at best�for a policy toward all Muslims substantially similar to the �box� strategy that was deemed insufficient when applied to Iraq and Iran.

Left by Jeff Fecke on May 2nd, 2006

[...] Jane Hamsher at firedoglake writes: …when liberals like TBogg or Gavin M. or SZ or Roy Edroso or any other of the wits of the liberal blogosphere sit down behind their keyboards and start tapping out daggers, slicing up the right with eviscerating humor that cuts to the bone, they know full well they are going into battle with unarmed opponents. I don�t know what it is about the right that they completely lack any ability to appreciate humor, but they sure as shit can�t write it either. I would never mess with the General for fear of what he�d come back at me with. Digby? Oh lord. Atrios, Wolcott, John Rogers � and I personally send Roger Ailes a fruit basket once a month just to stay on his good side. [...]

Left by Feminist Law Professors » Blog Archive » Humor From the Liberal Wing of the Liberal Blogosphere on May 2nd, 2006

Hannity/Savage/O’Reilly/Coulter/Snow et al

Everything you see the whiney left moaning about is Bill Clinton’s fault. He didn’t have the GUTS to launch a pre-emptive war with Iraq…no, he was too busy crying wolf with Al Queda. And look what happened? A year after Billy Boy was run out of office and stopped his belly aching, Osama bin fucking Laden attacks us- It’s ALL Clinton’s fault! The deficit- Clinton’s fault. The Medicare Plan B bill- Clinton’s fault. The GOP corruption- CLINTON’s Fault! When we nuke Iran and launch WWIII, the lefties will have no one to blame but Slick Willie.

Left by mamajama on May 2nd, 2006

Wakeup Call… We Need a Solution!
in the style of Kaye Grogan

So now that gas prices are quickly rising past $3 at the pump, who is speaking for America�s families in Washington? If you think it�s our government officials, I have two words for you � Fat Chance!

Our leaders in the nation�s capital are continually giving new meaning to the phrase, �out to lunch�, while the citizens are left out to suffer. Boy, I guess giving away our great nation�s resources to illegal immigrants is more important to these mixed up politicians than a bright future for those of us that are their countrymen. Can they give one realistic or sensible answer to this impending problem? No � all the so-called solutions offered by our government in Washington are true examples of the political �spin machine� in action.

Our friends in the Democrat Party now want to tell us how much they care about significantly reducing the price it takes for you to fill up, are these the same guys that continually and persistently demand the U.S. does not drill for oil in Alaska? Gosh, it seems they are in quite a pickle having to explain that one! (I�d also love to see them explain why they would move mountains to protect the Alaskan polar bears and moose, but don�t mind the millions of innocent unborn babies that get butchered thanks to their support!)

Not that our President�s suggestions sound much better! He must be taking a play from California Senator Barbara Boxer�s playbook, when he says he is going to move us all to �loopy� alternative energy sources like ethanol and switch grass. I�m no fan of the �fat cat� energy companies gouging our families at the pump, but can we get real Mr. President? If these fuels and energy sources were a cheap solution to our problem, wouldn�t we be using them already? Telling Americans that switch grass is going to replace gasoline as the fuel of choice is like telling us we get richer the more illegals take our jobs (and healthcare), just plain dishonest!

If the republicans in congress want to hold on to their seats in a tough election year, they need to find a real proposal to help us out of our energy bind, and quick! I (for one) say it is time to cash in our check with those that owe us big time, the newly liberated country of Iraq! We already know we spent billions of dollars removing the cruel dictator Saddam Hussein, and � at the cost of American lives and money � we have rebuilt much of the country to boot! Even at this point Iraq could never possibly use as much oil as it can produce, so why shouldn�t they use a sizable portion of it to repay us for our services? We could even cut those greedy companies like Exxon out of the loop on this one, in fact, we better if we don�t want to pay just as much for these new gas supplies!

Those on the left will probably wring their hands plenty over this suggestion, but to those whiny worriers I say � was it better for Saddam to use that oil to stockpile weapons and support terrorism? Good golly – if they had their way we would probably be giving Iraqis free gas as well as our efforts at reconstruction! I say, let them pay us back a little for our hard work, and ease this disturbing crisis for our nation�s working families, before it is too late!

And that�s just my opinion!

Left by Zimbardo on May 2nd, 2006

Dear Dr. Mike

Why do you hate women so much?

Dolores

First of all, Dolores, did you ever realize your name rhymes with clitoris? When you become a prostitute, you could probably work that.

Second, since you obviously hate men, what kind of hooker are you going to be? Are there that many lesbians willing to pay you to perform the “vagina monologues” on them?

THis reminds me of the time I tried to poison one of my colleagues–I mean–when one of my leftist colleagues accused me of trying to poison her. She was one of those man hating feminazis who never shaved (she could grow a better mustache than me!) who, though she was “supposedly married,” was undoubtedly really a butch lesbian who regularly had her lesbian students over and they would eat each other’s pussies and strap on enormous dildos and

Oh, I’m sorry, where was I? Oh, be sure to get Ben Shapiro’s Porn Generation, where he disects how porn ruins peoples’ lives, especially that lesbian porn, with that hot, hot, lesbian sex, which drives me so fucking crazy that I can’t take

[Townhall editor: Please submit your non-vagina related questions to . Questions should be brief and to the point and contain no references to any parts of the female anatomy.]

Left by Mark on May 2nd, 2006

I’m sorry, Dr. Mike was so into the lesbian sex that he forgot to close italics.

Left by Mark on May 2nd, 2006

Whew! Sorry I haven’t contributed like I said I would, but I just got back from the emergency room. That little thong stunt this morning caused all kinds of hell! Man, I just turn my hips slightly to the right and the thing lurched and bound up my scrote like a python!

I don’t know how Ann Coulter manages it.

Left by Thorlac on May 2nd, 2006

sort of hitchens-meets-o’reilly:

have we learned the lesson of munich?
in 1938 neville chamberlain and the french (typical) chose to appease a powerful, aggressive force that was clearly bent on destroying all that was best about western democracy. the result was a bloody, bloody war that killed millions and reduced much of a continent to rubble.

today we are faced with a similar foe, and a similar choice. a single force is seeking to undermine and humiliate the greatest of american institutions, the office of the president of the united states. this force has shown itself to be objectively treasonous and altogether lacking in the proper respect for that office. like the tide that disobeyed the lawful commands of the king in the famous story, reality has demonstrated an unforgivable lack of fealty.

consider the economy. our president in chief proposed during his initial campaign a massive tax cut as a fair-minded response to the budget surplus. reality, laughing snidely up its sleeve, quickly turned that surplus into a deficit. when our president, gamely brooking no insolence, proposed the same tax cut to jumpstart the economy, reality undermined this tactic as well. our president is a resolute man, and the situation has continued to this day, with neither blinking, neither giving an inch. who do you side with?

or consider defense. the president in chief made his highest defense priority the creation of a missile shield. reality’s response? the terrible events of september 11th (tm, all rights reserved). a lesser man would have bowed to this mockery, as a meek teacher might lose control of his classroom when faced with the snickering of the so called “cool” kids. yes, reality is “cool.” but our president is right.

or consider iraq. the president in chief planned for a splendid little war, which would cause the entire middle east to tumble into democracy like a flowering of beautiful little dominoes. you know reality’s response to this lovely vision. true, the president has managed to place as many as a hundred thousand iraqis forever beyond the reach of tyranny. but if you’ve been following its antics as you should, you know reality couldn’t let an accomplishment like that pass without hiding his lesson plan, or putting gum on his seat, or locking him in the teacher’s lounge. in this case, the gum on his seat has been thousands of americans dead. the hidden lesson plan? many more maimed. and instead of the teacher’s lounge, reality has locked him into approval ratings in the 30s.

if george bush were merely a school teacher, reality’s behavior would call for suspension. maybe even expulsion. but george bush is a country. a great one. reality’s behavior is not a schoolboy prank. it is, objectively speaking, treasonous. and what’s worse, far worse, polls show over 60% of americans favor the chamberlain course of appeasement of reality.

appeasement. it didn’t work in 1938 and it won’t work now. stand up to this smirking, treasonous bully, america. reject its book learning, its complexity, its rock music. we have a duty. we have a president. and we have a terrible example of the cost of appeasement. considering all of this, is there any way a true patriot can allow himself or herself (for there are girl patriots) to be sullied by contact with reality? we must stand up and stand firm before it’s too late.

Left by snidely whiplash on May 2nd, 2006

actually, now that i reread it, it’s more colbert, but dammit, i was first.

Left by snidely whiplash on May 2nd, 2006

Would Jesus, if the Big Guy could hop into a gyroscope or other kick-ass space vehicle and pop down to ther green ‘n’ blue to “check out” the state of the world and not get a faceful of lesbo-feminist armpit hair for his troubles, like Liberals? No. He’d make like Vanilla Ice and exit stage left, pausing only to Christ-slap a few girly-manical, testosterone-deprived, metrosexual, mascara-laden focus-group Ted Kennedy wannabes mano-a-mano and maybe pick up a pound or two of antelope jerky for the return trip. It’s like I said to Ted “the Nuge” Nuggent when we were punching hammerhead sharks in the cojones before chapel, JC never mentions socialist healthcare or Brokeback Mountaineering once during the Old Testament. It’s enough to make you rip the head off a bear to hear the furry buttock’d WHY-men of the bra-burning left jabber like a flock of costive hyenas about peace and love when you know the chances of them giving you a “piece” of “love” is about the same as Archie Bunker giving Paula Abdul a hickey. And that’s my clash point, as I haven’t said for a while.

Left by Doug Piles on May 2nd, 2006

Oh, there were rules, eh? Well Jesus kicking liberal ass is always news as my friend Kathy Ireland said after we gutted thirty marmosets yesterday. Nude!

Left by Doug Piles on May 2nd, 2006

Is where the entries go? I put this one on the previous contest diary. It was #24. I’m doing it again here –and correcting my typo.

From Ann Coulter:

Thank God for GW Bush! I�m tired of peace signs in my neighbor�s front yard. Jail the liberal atheist traitors! If Howard Dean and John Kerry had been around in 1940, we�d all be speaking German. The other day I saw a teenage boy down the street look at that peace sign and then buy a condom. I�ve always said traitors are perverts and perverts are traitors and that proves it. He�ll never be a decent Christian.

And now all those illegal immigrants and all their supporters demonstrating and boycotting? I hate talking about them as much as I hate them. Who wants to talk about them? They�re gardeners for God�s sake! If God had wanted them to be Americans, he would have made them white so they could be paid better. It all just makes my head want to explode.

�marching proudly backwards to our future� http://www.homelanddecency.com

Left by bfranky on May 2nd, 2006

Is Joe Klein a wingnut, technically? ‘Cause I’m thinking I’d like to see him doing “Why Matthew Lesko Is A Radical Liberal And I Am A Moderate”.

Left by D. Sidhe on May 2nd, 2006

D. Sidhe–

I can’t speak for the officials, but I say if you can’t call Joe Klein a wingnut, then the terrorists have won.

Left by Jeff Fecke on May 2nd, 2006

Immigrant Illegals Loiter Aplenty!

Everyday, the immigrants illegal that forsake their homeland for the United States are not speakers of English. As a man clammed-up by the second language English, I carry sympathy in my trunk for these immigrants below my border. It reminds me of my adopted son who bordered in my house. Even though I left him on the highway across the border Canadian, he used his gang members in the police force to immigrate home. The true miracle is that he didn’t transport a shiv up my south of the border. In finalling words, send them back, President Bush!

-J. Grant Swank Jr.

Left by Hysterical Woman on May 3rd, 2006

WHY I WON’T BE SEEING “UNITED 93″
An “homage” to Jason Apuzzo of Townhall.com

So, I see the liberals in Hollywood – George Clooney and Barbra Streisand and their out of touch friends – have turned their attention to the terrorist attack of 9/11.

First, I would first like to say that, firstly, I love the War on Terror. Only a ridiculous paleolithic Leftie fringe extremist moonbat would deny that Saddam Hussein and his al-Qaida buddies were on the verge of attacking America armed with cannons attached to dirty bombs that when they explode shoot bird flu at you.

I’d love, to see a real, movie that accurately depicts The War on Terror as it’s really being fought in my mind. Slyvester Stallone – as the President, kicking Tony Shalhoub’s ass in a cage fight, for just one of many potential examples. Now that, movie, might even make my Liberty Film Festival!

But “United 93″ isn’t that film. The movie – which wasn’t even directed by an American at all! – ignores almost all of the established “facts” from that day. Nowhere in the film do we see Ronald Reagan leaping in the way of a 747 aimed at the Pentagon, deflecting the death blow with his body. And why not?

Guess what? Hollywood doesn’t care about the real truth! They just want to base their movie on available transcripts and established timelines! Maybe next, year Walden Media, will buy the rights to the 9/11 story and make a real movie out of it, something that accurately and clearly reflects the conservative take on modern life. Like “Narnia.”

Left by Lons on May 3rd, 2006

This is my attempt at Neil Cavuto of Fox, whose qualifications as some kind of analyst, business analyst, writer or simple journalist completely escapes me every time I read him. Add to that his consistent failure to coherently explain ‘my world’ (or his for that matter)or communicate any “common sense” whatsoever makes him akin to a scrofulitic scab that is repulsive to observe, pleasurable to scratch and never heals.

(BTW if perchance you drop by my blog the 2006-02-12 Archive article provides some context–and please pay no attention to my recetn “Paying Attention” which is pretty sucky)

Anywhoo; Ladies and germs,Neil CAVUTO!

“You might think that what brought my Irish mother and my Italian father together was the fact that they were both immigrants and that they were both Catholics, but there was something else that made them stick to each other.
And that something else was oil.
Whether it was holy oil or olive oil it was sacred to them both.
Oil was life.
It softened the pasta and fried to a crisp the potatoes and unidentifiable animal parts that fed us
And if it hadn�t been for the oil, I probably would never have been born.

Today millions of immigrants claim that they are the oil that lubricates the US economy. And in the past few days they have tried to stop that flow of �oil� just like OPEC did in the 70�s.
Jimmy Carter of course caved to the blackmail, and restricted our freedom of choice and the country fell into recession. That�s what happens when Democrat�s try to wield executive power.
But Reagan stood up to the oil cartel and turned the crisis into a victory. His stance killed the sales of fuel efficient cars from the Europeans and the Japanese and restored jobs to American auto workers.

As the son of immigrants I think I can claim a bit more knowledge about this subject than the average Liberal whose typical lineage is communist euro-trash of the type we Americans cast off in the War of Independence.

These days we are facing another War of Independence�independence from illegal immigrants who, with their ridiculous low-riding pimpmobiles are illegally consuming the oil that legal patriotic citizens need to support the oil industry that helps pay for the War On Terror.

So when you hear these immigrants claiming that they want to be Americans, don�t believe a word of it.
If they really wanted to be Americans they should first learn English and then get a real job instead of sponging off the generosity of this great nation and siphoning billions of dollars back to their Stalinist leaders like Hugo Chavez.

But how do we fight this illegal immigrant army?

We remove the reason they come here in the first place which is of course welfare and all the other social programs that the liberals won�t let George Bush reform.
Then we round up the illegals and force them to compensate for all the money and oil they�ve stolen by making them build a 300 foot high border wall supervised by Halliburton/Bechtel.
Then we form a new agency called The Illegal Agency which will mandate that all the liberals who let the illegal immigrants cross the border escort them back, supervised by experienced contractors such as BlackWater and Custer-Battles.
Once we�ve secured our borders and are safe behind their walls America will no longer be exploited by foreigners and we can return to the real business of America�the business of freedom.

And that�s just common sense”

Left by Simon Waugh on May 3rd, 2006

wow! I’ve never heard of Kaye Grogan ( thanks Zimbardo post #21) but it’s like she, Cavuto and another fave of mine John Gibson are like, mentally connected somehow—like those weirdos in “,omority Report” where they got to accuse people of crimes they hadn’t yet committed and determined the future before it actually happened, thus also circumventing history (by default. Spoo–oookeeee!

Left by Simon Waugh on May 4th, 2006

I’m afraid these don’t sound much like conservatives at all. Perhaps some of you should read the blog of a real conservative, like myself, in order to see how we actually write.

Left by Jon Swift on May 5th, 2006

Doug Giles – Enjoy that bottle of Mountain Dew while you can, because some day it’s going to be illegal.

Every couple of days something happens that reaffirms my conviction that I would rather go down on Chewbacca’s mom than send my daughters to public schools. This week it’s the decision by our major soft drink companies to ban on the sale of pop and other soft drinks high in sugar and calories in our nation’s great institutions of learning. You might think it ironic that our former Fellatee-In-Chief, a guy who never met a Quarter Pounder (or a slack-jawed female underling) he didn’t like, was behind the deal, but it made sense to me. Anytime someone is strong armed into a “doing the right thing for our children” deal, you can smell a DemLib in the background easier than you could smell a Dorito’s fart in Rosie O’Donnell’s sleeping bag. Before you get all defensive on me, telling me that it’s not such a bad deal, that our kids are better off, let me give you one reason why this deal is dumber than Kellie Pickler in a Lesbian Bukkake video.

Pop helped us to win World War II.

It�s common knowledge that one of the reasons we gave the Japs and the Krauts such a spanking is the widespread use of Coca-Cola by our brave fighting men. Coca-Cola became an icon of that war and symbolized one thing and one thing only: We Are From the Greatest Country in the History of Civilization and We Are Going to Kick Your Ass. How do you think our troops would�ve fared on D-Day if they were fed a steady diet of wheatgrass juice and Vegan Goat Cheese Pizza? Madeline Albright has a better chance of winning a Wet T-Shirt contest. Pop helped make this country #1. All over the world people are drinking Coke and liking it. What the DemLibs want us to do is retreat with our veggie dips and banana cantalope smoothies and watch as the rest of the Coca-Cola drinking and Whopper-inhaling countries grow stronger while our kids sit on their asses learning about oral and anal sex and whatever else the DemLibs see fit to teach them instead of arithmetic and math. So you want your sons and daughters to grow up to become strong fathers and good mothers? Don�t worry they will–as the egg and sperm donors for Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge�s next love child in the Islamofascist People�s Republic of the United States of America.

Left by Sean G. on May 6th, 2006

Writing like Mom of Nine:

Why Women Should Cover Their Heads

Until the 20th Century, when feminist discourse began to dominate social policy, it was customary for women to cover their heads in church. They did this in accordance with an edict presented in 1 Corinthians 11: that women in Corinth, and everywhere else, cover their heads when praying or prophesying. The primary reason for this, Paul tells us, is to ever assert God�s divine headship order. Woman was created for man, and not man for woman.

When a woman veils herself in subjection to God�s command, her own head disappears in the eyes of angels, to be replaced by that of her husband or father � creatures who, though borne of women, more closely reflect the image of God.

This isn�t to say women are less important than men: they are spiritual equals (Gal 3:28) who serve different roles in God�s divine order.

It doesn�t matter that this order seems unreasonable by worldly standards; we, as human beings, are not intellectually capable of judging the perfect motivations of an omnipotent creator. Our role, as women, is to obey God and reflect his love on Earth to our husbands through lives of selfless service. We are called upon by the Lord Jesus Christ to take up the highest vocation available in this fallen world of flesh: that of mother and helpmeet.

The veil is a practical and solid demonstration of this truth. It is a sign to the church and the world that we are proudly in submission to God�s headship order. Through announcing this so boldly, we are also demonstrating our unwillingness to be treated as mere sex objects by strange men (and women)!

Furthermore, it is our duty to act with strength and prudence in our dealings with Christian brothers, doing nothing that which would cause those men to stumble (Rom. 14:13). For even in secular law, the poisoner is guilty of a crime while the victim of poison is not. And the naked glory of woman � her hair � can be a temptation to corrosive thoughts for weaker brothers in Christ.

We must, in choosing our attire and vocation, be constantly aware of our unique position as women: we can either strengthen the Godly resolve of the men around us, or destroy it.

Left by The Devil's Advocate on May 6th, 2006

ALL BLOGGERS MUST DIE — I’M SERIOUS
In the manner of Ann Coulter

Well, well, well. It seems that “World O’ Crap,” a blog that nobody’s ever heard of that features posts that nobody ever reads, has moved to a new “home.” Which is a bit like the proverbial falling tree in an empty forest moving to a new…empty forest. And while self-imposed exile for bloggers is a start, I’d like to take it step further: All bloggers must die.

The high-pitched whining sound you hear is millions of liberals up in arms. Yeah, yeah, I know. “What about Freedom of Speech?!” Cry me a river. As usual, the liberals are dead wrong and here’s why. Let’s open our history books (sorry, liberals) and look at the 20th century’s first bloggers: The Nazis.

“Der Sturmer” was a German journal of “opinion” that got passed around the Aryan Supremacy set in the 1930s. It contained short, punchy articles, “humorous” illustrations, letters from readers and lists of similar periodicals. Sound familiar? In the language of today, the viciously anti-Semitic “Der Sturmer” contained “posts,” “gifs,” “comments” and “links.” That’s right. “Der Sturmer” was a blog. It was “published” at lightning speed and passed and shared among “friends.” Rings a bell, doesn’t it? Yet this is the template for “discourse” that liberals hail as “new media.” Well, as I just proved, blogs are a form of “old media” that goes back to the darkest days of the early 20th century. There may have had no “internet” per se, but the Nazis didn’t need one– they already had a “world-wide web.” A web of murderous thugs bent on world domination.

Let’s face it. Bloggers are just Nazis with modems. We should invade their homes, seize their computers and shoot them all execution style. Then I will drink an entire bottle of Champagne and piss on their graves.

Left by Zudz on May 6th, 2006

Homage to Charles Johnson-

[Hallmark style nature photo]

Moonbat weasels turn 9/11 memorial into another capitulation to the ROP. See this link here http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/06/AR2006050601065.html. Manhattan left-liberals see fit to commemorate the brave heros who died at the Twin Towers with a simpering monument that symbolizes the essential weakness of the West in the face of the ROP. Twin reflecting pools mimic the teary eyes of the liberal who respond to the attacks on the West with remonstrances and attempts at understanding. Clearly, the Manhattan dhimmis don�t understand that the Islamojihadists only understand the clear message of the IDF, as delivered on the likes of Rachel Corrie. Wonder if they will understand when the jackbooted thugs hold the crescent sword and slit their throats like pigs?

Left by sj on May 7th, 2006

(I posted this in the thread below, but I think that might have been the wrong place, so I’m re-doing it here.)

HOMO NUPS LEAD TO SUFFERING
Readers of papers such as the New York Times learned today that competing ballots measures conflict with voters in Colorado on whether to allow the homo nups. I say unto them that they must vote to prevent it. No one can claim they cannot do their part to defeat the homosexual agendaists: do or do not � there is no try.

Named must your fear be before banish it you can. We have no reason to fear God, except when he is wroth, and believe me that wroth he is at the thought of sweaty, crusty mansex. I know that the homo agenda can be tempting, with its musical comedies and high-quality fabrics, but resist it you must. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.

Size matters not. That is, the size of your commitment to fight the homo nups. If you do not, that is why you fail. We cannot allow homo nups to happen, for then the dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is. Already know that which you need, to shove the hot throbbing truth down the throats of the homo. Always in motion is the future. This fight we can win. Must win. Bad feeling I have about this.

The nups have even appearing on the Sopranos, with a homo mobster and they said they would �pay for therapy� instead of killing him. So in summaration, you must confront Colorado. Only then, a Christian will you be.

Left by Pastor Swank (ala David E.) on May 7th, 2006

Well, it doesn’t precisely fit the bill, and likely won’t win in any case, but just for the heck of it, here’s my little piece:

http://wassertanzen13.blogspot.com/2006/05/space-invaders.html

Left by wassertanzen13 on May 10th, 2006