Every once in awhile we check to see what search strings have built up in the World O’ Crap referrer logs, much like that guy at Jiffy Lube who comes out to the waiting room to cluck his tongue about all the gunk in your fuel filter. So let’s see which questions The Algorithm has so badly bungled that it actually sent people to us for answers…
1. how to make eyes: I assume this is for a Jaycees Haunted House and the answer is, “use peeled grapes.”
2. ghost with a boner: This is a popular Hong Kong (Category III) horror film. It’s also what happens when a healthy young dead guy sees an attractive, nubile, and deceased girl in an Invisible Bikini.
3. model pretending to be a whore: Also known as “art imitating life.”
4. bishop stonewall shelton toomsuba ms: Welcome, Your Grace. Here’s the post you’re looking for.
5. shaddam hussain: Also known as shaddam IV, the 81st Padishah Emperor of the known universe, and a really embarrassing way for Jose Ferrer to end his career.
6. fatal vagina: During the Bush Administration, this was the title of the federally approved textbook used in Abstinence Only sex education classes.
7. Separated At Birth Queries:
a.) hitler’s disney sketches:
b.) hitler’s autopsy pictures:
Mix and Match Them!
8. high foreheads surgery: This is the latest Tinsel Town trend in cosmetic enhancements. After a vogue for wearing unnecessary eyeglasses in an effort to look smart, Young Hollywood is fighting the age-old “blondes are dumb” canard with Forehead Implants.
Nothing says “Einsteinian intellect” like a forehead that resembles two butts pressed against a plate glass window.
9. “bib overalls” bald: Like “the Brazilian,” this is a term of art for a style of bikini wax, in which most of the hair is left intact, but shaped into an oblong and vajazzled with two brass buttons.
10. dr. mike male stripper real name robert t******: At last it’s clear why Dr. Mike Adams feels so free to aggravate his colleagues, insult his superiors, and sue his own university — he’s got something to fall back on.
And since World O’ Crap is now a reality show — which, like so many reality shows, is basically just a game show — we come to the Open Source segment of our program, where we appeal to you, the Wo’C reader, to answer these perplexing queries, under pain of having Tyra Banks complain about your neck.
11. anderson cooper gayest moments
12. batman leotard fetish
13. ghetto white people
14. asperger’s “southern baptism”
15. midichlorians how do they work
I think I have #14.
Asperger’s Syndrome is characterized by:
1.limited interests or an unusual preoccupation with a particular subject to the exclusion of other activities
2. repetitive routines or rituals, peculiarities in speech and language, such as taking figures of speech literally
3. socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior and the inability to interact successfully with peers
Left by Weldon Berger on July 24th, 2010