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When Jeff G. announced his retirement, many people wondered what obligation or opportunity had convinced him to abandon a successful blog with a devoted following.  As it turns out, Jeff has apparently become a sort of self-serve bounty hunter, searching the land for people who have besmirched his honor with their anonymous comments on the internet, and making a violent citizen’s arrest before sentencing the perpetrators to his own personal penile system.

Now, I seem to remember conservative bloggers mocking the sensitivies of Arabs who claimed that Israeli Occupation forces, or Coalition troops in Iraq had “humiliated” them, but I can certainly sympathize with the urge to lash out.  However, if you’re going into business as a two-fisted duellist, you might want to make sure that your methodology for indentifying and locating your detractors is pretty air-tight; otherwise, the inevitable arraignment hearing might prove even more awkard than anticipated.

Case in point.  In this post we noted Jeff’s announced departure (delayed, apparently, due to an ever-growing backlog of honor killings).  Jeff’s response was to appear in the comments and demand satisfaction for a hateful remark someone had left on his own site.  When it became obvious I hadn’t posted the comment in question, he and his enablers began a frantic tag-team Googlequest to unmask the culprit, and were last seen combing through trash dumpsters in suburban Pennsylvania.

All well and good.  But now some other pseudonym has left a comment apparently wishing cancer on Jeff, who acted quickly and deduced the guilty party by throwing a dart at Atrios’ blogroll. Today’s winner?  Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog.  As with me, the honor came as a complete surprise to Steve, since he hadn’t made the comment at Protein Wisdom (and had signed those few he’s made in the past).  But unlike the state Lotto, with Jeff’s own Shirley Jackson-style Lottery, you don’t actually have to be “in it to win it.”

Anyway, it’s suddenly clear why Goldstein resigned from blogging (”I may be back at some later date, but for now, I just don’t have the time”) — there’s only so many hours in the day, and he’s got to devote the daylight ones to tracking down his imaginary enemies while the trail is still fresh.  Fortunately, he’s got his PW Irregulars keeping him supplied with a steady stream of utterly random candidates for assault; athough, I’m sorry, but anyone who begins their recruiting drive for lynch mob members with the words, “I crave a boon,” should really be kept in a cool, dry place for their own safety.

36 Responses to “Sometimes They Come Back; Usually They Just Won’t Leave”

Actually, I did make some comments, as Steve M., in response to a post by Dan Collins a few months ago. (Collins had linked a post of mine, with a sneer.) I’m not interested in Goldstein, or I wasn’t until now. I didn’t even know until this morning about his (pseudo?) retirement. I didn’t write the comment he’s got his knickers in a twist about, and he and his band of merry men seem astonished to learn that an IP address from a large company could be shared by all the office and cube slaves in that company. (Oh, and he wants *me* to prove I’m innocent by helping him stalk whatever co-worker wrote the comment he doesn’t like.)

Thanks for the correction, Steve. I’ll update the post.

Oh good lord!

He accused Skippy, fercrissakes! I’m surprised I didn’t get tag-teamed (they would have enjoyed it far more than I) by him and Dan Collins!

In fairness to Jeff G, tho, Scott, are you familiar with the Deborah Frisch matter?

She lost her job (resigned, but under pressure) after comparing Jeff’s kid to JonBenet Ramsey and hoping his kid wouldn’t be “JonBeneted”, so I can sort of understand why Lamb Cannon’s comment would set him off.

I do remember the Frisch matter, and I agree, the recent comment was just as loathsome; it’s not at all hard to understand why he’d want to defend his child.

What’s puzzling, besides his inclination to hare off after suspects based on little or no evidence, is why he felt the need to launch another jihad when someone said, essentially, “I hope you have cancer.” The comment was about as transparent a piece of drive-by flamebait as you’re likely to find, and most people I know wouldn’t even regard as worthy of response. But somehow he sees it as a blot on his honor, rather than an indictment of the mean-spirited morons who have nothing better to do than troll the blogosphere.

Where did he accuse Skippy, actor212?

It’s a strange thing, too, Steve, of you to consider outing someone who posts that he hopes you have a painful malignancy as helping to stalk. I mean, isn’t the stalking really people dumping comments like that?

The guy who really set Jeff off this time is a guy who’s posted at World-O-Crap who goes by the handle Lamb Cannon, as is mentioned above, referring to Jeff’s kid as a “hydroencephalic prick.” Considering the Frisch thing, which clearly he was aware of, that was an asinine thing to do.

Turns out he is a furry with a fascination with diapers and incontinence, which would be neither here nor there if he weren’t also menacing with regards to people’s kids. I think we can all agree that that ought to be off limits.

And considering what a horrible, violent neocon I am, I’m pretty sure that I’ve never gone to someone’s site and told them that I hope they die a dreadfully painful death. Mostly, because I’ve never met anyone over the intarwebs whom I really thought deserving.

Well, allow me to dissent from Actor212 and you, Scott. Debroah Frisch was clearly a whack-a-doodle, who might try to harm Jeff and his boy. She is/was THAT unhinged.

The comment that changed his vacation plans to Pennsylvania is not like it in anyway. That comment neither threatened Jeff nor his boy. It was tasteless, offensive, and left by an apparent ass, but it doesn’t at all rise to the level of Frisch.

The whole thing reminds me of the scene in the “Life of Brian”, where the Pharisees are going to stone a gent for saying Jevonah. The incantation of the very mention of his boy cause him to seek vengeance. Having acquired the absolute moral authority the incident with Frisch confers upon him (in his commenters’ eyes), he feels the need to invoke the memory of this jihad at the drop of a hat.

Personally, after witnessing him urging his followers to attack a gent at the guy’s work a couple of years ago, watching him post personal information (multiple times) about people who crossed him, and observing the constant cycle of retiring then fund-raising, I feel Goldstein’s site is one of the funniest on the net. It’s like a 14 year teenage girl drama queen on meth. Pure entertainment and hissy fits.

I didn’t follow the Frisch thing closely, so I wasn’t aware she posed an actual physical threat, but I suppose these days you can’t be too careful. Which is why it’s ironic, at best, that Goldstein is now threatening to go on a cross-country slapfest. And just to clarify my previous comment, when I say, “defend his child,” I don’t mean “lie in wait behind some guy’s hydrangeas then pounce on him, shrieking, like Kato in the Pink Panther movies.” I mean defend him using the same weapons with which he was attacked — words.

after witnessing him urging his followers to attack a gent at the guy’s work a couple of years ago

I’d never heard that one. I guess some people just can’t be trusted with minions.

Dan,

HE didn’t. YOU did!

Scott,

Jeff threatened to “meet up” with Lamb Cannon, and even posted the name of his employer (Random House).

TimB,

I too was unaware that Frisch had descended to that level. I’m sorry. I’ve been on the receiving end of that in a different context, and it’s not a particularly pleasant feeling.

Of course, being 6’4″ and 225, I tend to ignore those things beyond “Aw shit, another trial?!?”

Dan,

The way I see it, if someone posts personal information about another person, say, their girlfriend *smiles*, then this is merely payback. Based on what timb just posited, it sounds like Jeff needs to take a breather, which he is doing.

Dan is an admitted violent neo-con?

Oh Dan, c’mon, you’re no neo.

Hehee.

Agree with ‘em or disagree with ‘em, the main bloggers at PW are nice people, misguided about politics, but nice nonetheless.

Well, to be fair to her, she never posed the actual physical threat until Jeff filed a lawsuit against her. She then tried to use the legal process to get a peek at his home address. Most likely, she just wanted it to post it on the web (irony, isn’t it), but who knows.

Certainly, a rudimentary glance into the case (especially at a guy named “Kirk” who claims convincingly that Frisch also stalked him) shows that Goldstein’s KNEW her address (he was able to obtain “service” for process). In fact, it is obvious he watches her as much as she watches him (with her going so far as to publish Dan’s work site and (if I remember correctly) work phone.

Still, Jeff is off some sort of meds and the whole thing is desperately funny.

Just so we’re clear, Dan, you posted this on Sunday at Skippy’s, yes or no?

Dan Collins said…
I’m sure that we will all have lots of fun flaming and counter-flaming, Skippy, and I can’t pretend I’m innocent of the occasional trumped-up kerfuffle, but honestly I have always believed that you’re better than that.

Does anyone really recall the circumstances of the cockslapping meme as regards Jeff? Does your idea of fun extend also to “Lamb Cannon”?

Just wondering.

2:55 PM PDT

By the way, I’m sometimes known as “Carl,” which is how I know about this.

Timb,

Your recollections about the Frisch timeline are mistaken. The jonbenet reference preceded any threatened legal actions to deal with Frisch’s stalking.

Lamb Cannon crossed a line of decency, and no one could take you seriously if you argued otherwise. It’s not improper to expose his reputation to his own remarks. BTW, what “evidence” are you complaining was weak? Are you arguing he has a right to say that kind of crap and have his cognomen walled off from his given name?
He’s a nasty piece of work, and if he suffers for having his name exposed, it’s because of what he’s attached to it.

I’m sorry, actor212. What are you saying that I accuse Skippy of?

I guess I’m unwise in the Way of All Things Blog, but can’t you blogger folks just delete shithead comments you think are truly beyond the pale? And that’s really not to be construed with censorship.

Replying to them strikes me as a no win situation, while deleting their existence (still talking comments here) would seem to negate the whole event.

I knew there was something I missed about junior high school. And this isn’t it.

deleting their existence (still talking comments here) would seem to negate the whole event

Right. That way, nothing ever happened.

BTW, what “evidence” are you complaining was weak? Are you arguing he has a right to say that kind of crap and have his cognomen walled off from his given name?

No, I believe what they’re arguing is weak is the methodology for hunting down said asshole and identifying him, in that it appears to be leading to a number of false positives. If you can figure out who he is, dandy, feel free to tell the world he’s a bastard. But don’t out other people in the process if you do not know damned well that they are the guilty party. Otherwise, see, innocent people are exposed to the consequences of Lamb Cannon’s remark, and that’s, you know, kind of uncalled for. One might almost say it’s morally wrong to punish innocent people for something someone else did, it’s certainly letting the original dickhead off the hook, and how does that benefit anyone?

If you can’t positively figure out who it is, then, okay, the weasel got away with being a prick. It happens. All the time. For which I’m sorry, I too would like to live in a world where people have to live with the consequences of their bad acts. But not if the price of that is that *everyone* has to live with the consequences of someone’s bad acts.

Dan, as your own words point out, you accuse Skippy of being Lamb Cannon, merely because he posted about Jeff’s resignation.

I knew there was something I missed about junior high school. And this isn’t it.

And Doghouse wins the thread..

And Doghouse wins the thread..

If he wasn’t so cool, I’d be jealous of how often that happens.

Well, Sarah, it wouldn’t actually be the first time you outed people, would it? One of the most fearsome powers kooks have is being right once (see Alger Hiss/Whittaker Chambers, for instance). You are now the judge, jury and executioner in regard to Internet privacy and seeing ridiculous silliness which Jeff’s poor feelings sends you to the mattresses.

Since no one else will say it, I will. Get a job or at least another hobby.

Lastly, all of your crusading across the internets has affected your reading ability. I never said her “jonbenet” comment happened after the legal issues were filed. I said physical threats never started until after the law got involved. If you believe Goldstein’s frequent references to meeting dissenters and asking them to comment to his face is not filled with violence, then you can hardly claim her wishing ill on his son was an actual threat.

If, on the other hand, you think that is a threat, then your defense of the guy who has threatened to meet me and several other folks is a defense of violent threats and SHOULD give your righteous quest a pause.

I think this post needs an update. Pasty is now picking fights with his cobloggers, and whining that he’s going to close the whole site. Pity, that.

http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=13063#comments

from comment 140 onward. Too.Much.Crazy.

Are you arguing he has a right to say that kind of crap and have his cognomen walled off from his given name?

It’s a free country.

Junior High is right. gad. Given the emotional maturity level displayed over there I can not imagine how Jeff G. flopped as a grad student.

Funniest thing I ever saw. the two of them whining back and forth at each other. If I thought he was done, I’d post a number of wonderful messages under my banned “names”. However, in addition to being a bit unstable, our china doll is also a liar and addicted to the drama. I hope he takes James Wolcott on, because I’m sure Vanity Fair needs rocked like Random House was.

You want funny? Check the current top post, in which Goldstein posts a video of himself wrestling and then in the comments gets into the details of the sport.

Protein Wisdom is the clear frontrunner to win 2008 Unintentionally Funniest Blog of the Year

J–you are so right. This, for instance:

“The cool thing about the crossface (and you can’t see it on the tape, obviously) is that the knuckle of your bent thumb drags along the line beneath the nose and atop the upper tooth line, which turns the head of your opponent slightly. Then, the notch of your wrist applies the pressure when you lock in the hold and use your other arm to apply the compression.

You have to do it lightly in training sessions (which this was) or else risk breaking your opponent’s teeth or disclocating the jaw, depending on where you concentrate the lock.

As you can see, submission happens quickly.”

Where to even start?
I’m convinced he is mentally ill.

And I wonder how Dan feels now about running around the Intraweb to defend Pasty’s honor–now that Pasty seems to have given him and Karl the boot.

Itook the delicious liberty of posting a few comments over at the Boycott McDonalds webby-do for S&G. Childish? Yes. Fullfilling? Not for very long, I guess. Worth it for a cheap thrill? Abso-fargin’Lutely. Mostly because it’s a big pile of wind-pissing and multiposts to be sure. Try it, I won’t tell: http://www.boycottmcdonalds.com/comments.aspx

Crap, wrong comments thread…Sorry…

The cool thing about the crossface (and you can’t see it on the tape, obviously) is that the knuckle of your bent thumb drags along the line beneath the nose and atop the upper tooth line, which turns the head of your opponent slightly. Then, the notch of your wrist applies the pressure when you lock in the hold and use your other arm to apply the compression.

The Martha Stewart of wrestling.

Oh man, that’s just so wrong on so MANY levels!

Watching that video made me so uncomfortable, both for the violence, and the gay porn aspect, and the little fan of Flannery O’Connor needing to be a big tough guy by wrestling people.

I guess I feel better about this loon being in to martial arts, rather than guns, but is anyone else curious about WHAT THE HELL HE’S TRAINING FOR?

Is it for this upcoming race war Karl hints about (the long lost Karl, I wonder if the McCain campaign finally hired him full time)? Or, is this just the English major trying to show he’s not a 98 pound weakling?

I guess I feel better about this loon being in to martial arts, rather than guns, but is anyone else curious about WHAT THE HELL HE’S TRAINING FOR?

The big, upcoming bout: Jeff Goldstein vs. Random House Employees Who Use the Internet.

WHAT THE HELL HE’S TRAINING FOR?

The next Tom Of Finland film: “Tom Does Bloggers”

Something to say?