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Updated below

From the transcript of the Corny Collins Hugh Hewitt Show: “Mark Steyn on Hillary Clinton’s electoral strength, the supergay, gay superdelegates”

HH: I’ve got a special treat today, because I’ve pretaped an interview tomorrow with Jonah Goldberg…

…allowing us to edit out the long interregna during which Jonah just sat and made fart noises with his armpit.

…author of the bestselling Liberal Fascism, and I’m on my way tonight to the Southern Hemisphere. I’m talking today with Columnist To the World, Mark Steyn. You can read all of Mark’s work at www.steynonline.com. Get America Alone if you haven’t already…

…because I’m telling you, America’s a sure thing, dude, she’s a total slut! Just make your brother buy you a sixpack of Mickey’s Wide Mouths, and get her under the bleachers…

Mark, good Wednesday to you.

And Good Sabbath to you, Reb Hewitt.

MS: Happy Wednesday to you, too, Hugh, and that is a great book, that Jonah Goldberg book.

HH: It really has gotten under the skin of the left, because I think it talks in an unpleasant for them terms about the reality of the leftist impulse towards totalitarianism

MS: Yes, and I think he’s absolutely right about that, that totalitarianism in the Western world today, it’s not Il Duce strutting about in preposterous uniforms in a semi-militarized state.

Yes, indeed.

HH: You know what I think the left hates, Mark, about Jonah, and you share this with him as well, is they can deal with the Russell Kirks of the new millennium. They can deal with the furrowed brow and the people who are talking in hushed tones. They hate the humor. They cannot stand dealing with people who are funny in replying to them.

MS: Yup. No, I think there’s a big part of that, because again, their sense of themselves is that they are the funny guys, that in fact, they take the view, which I think is almost exactly wrong, that humor is by definition left wing. And of course, that cannot be, because humor is about recognition and observation. And if you hedge yourself in with as many absurdities as the modern left does, so that you cannot accurately identify facets of radical Islam or whatever, you can’t actually identify the comedy in life.

Jihadists call it “suicide bombing,” Republicans call it “observational humor.”

HH: Let’s not duck from the reality of what’s going on again with the cartoons.

Josie and the Pussycats were a necessary, and I daresay, resonant clarion call for the right of young women to compete on equal terms in the male-dominated field of arena rock, so long as they wore animal-print bathing suits on stage and had the word “pussy” somewhere in their name to differentiate their compositions from the music of bands that rocked out with their cocks out. But I think you’ll agree with me that Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space trivialized the very real stakes in the Cold War space race.”

HH: That’s true. Mark, we’ve got about a minute as well, I’ve got to make sure I get your reaction. Is the Hillary Clinton Humpty Dumpty incapable of being put back together again? And if so, why?

MS: Well, you hear all these theories now. I linked at National Review earlier today to some story in a gay Washington newspaper that says Hillary still leads among super gay delegates…not super gay delegates, gay superdelegates.

HH: (laughing)

MS: I don’t know, maybe they are super gay delegates. Maybe they’re super gay gay superdelegates.

HH: Are they gay supermen delegates?

MS: Only in the Democratic Party.

And by popular request…

“I am not gay, I have never been gay. I’m sure if I even tried to be gay, I’d really, really suck at it.”

You try texting with only one thumb!”

And of course, representing the conservative blogosphere, Corporal Matt Sanchez and his enormous dick:

16 Responses to “You Can’t Have Fascism Without Fashion”

at least aWol has never said anything was “fabulous” or had one of his lackeys have obsessive pictures of him or his hands all over the place

Dear God. Tell me you made up that entire interview.

WTF was the bit about gay delegates? No, really. Because I didn’t understand where that was coming from at all, and I’ve gotten to where I normally just ignore their incoherence. It just came completely out of the blue, and I can’t imagine why they were even thinking about the sexuality of the delegates. I mean, really…

WTF was the bit about gay delegates?

That was some of that wicked right-wing observational humor, of course, (and not at all an overcompensating attempt to prove their “un-gayness” to all the guys in the He-Man Women Haters Club). Nope.

These people give “stupid” a whole new class of meaning.

Humor, oh yeah. Why, just today Jonah uncorked “Disgruntled? Is anyone ever just ‘gruntled’?” I mean, how’s the Left supposed to compete with that?

Of course the real difficulty in dealing with the Pantloadian wit (I have to admit that before this hour I was innocent of anyone ever referring to Steyn as “funny” in the comedy sense) is that it only becomes humor after its delusions of seriousness have been utterly demolished. It’s like telling the waiter that was the worst onion soup you’d ever tasted, and having him reply, “It was zabligione! It was zabligione!” and run sobbing into the kitchen.

Anyway, I’m sure gonna miss these guys when they’re gone, and like Mark Twain, I think I’ll ask for a piece of the rope as a souvenir.

HH: It really has gotten under the skin of the left, because I think it talks in an unpleasant for them terms about the reality of the leftist impulse towards totalitarianism.

Hewitt’s actually pretty close here; All Goldberg’s book talks about is generic totalitarianism; his definition of Fascism encompasses pretty much every dictatorship ever.

Here’s his definition as I’ve seen it quoted:

Fascism is a religion of the state. It assumes the organic unity of the body politic and longs for a national leader attuned to the will of the people. It is totalitarian in that it views everything as political and holds that any action by the state is justified to achieve that common good. It takes responsibility for all aspects of life, including our health and well-being, and seeks to impose uniformity of thought and action, whether by force or through regulation and social pressure. Everything, including the economy and religion, must be aligned with its objectives. Any rival identity is part of the “problem” and therefore defined as the enemy.

What kind of definition is that? By his definition, the Soviet Union was a fascist government. Hell, by his definition feudal monarchies are fascist governments.

And he has the gall to go around quoting Orwell and complaining that fascism has come to just be a generic term for anything evil.

Also, I hate his book because he tries to argue that the Nazis were pro-gay.

I’m trying to be nicer online; Goldberg is a human being just like the rest of us, and I’m sure he has lots of great qualities and has the same problems the rest of us do.

But I just can’t stop myself from asking, how did this lazy imbecile get a job as a high profile columnist?

Really, there ought to be photos of Larry Craig and Mark Foley at the bottom…on the bottom?…of this piece.

But I just can’t stop myself from asking, how did this lazy imbecile get a job as a high profile columnist?

By day, he’s a mild mannerd lazy imbecile of a high profile columnist.

At night, he’s SSSSSSSSSSSSSUPERGAYDELEGATE! servicing Republicans everywhere with his astounding skills, along with his sidekick, ReachAround Boy…

Okay. Well, Mark, maybe the left would be better at spotting humor if we were ever offered any by the right…

I have a soft spot for Jonah, as everybody knows. I tend to think he’s an unfortunate example of what happens when you never learn your awful mother is ever wrong and not worth trying to please. It’s a common enough problem, and in the rest of the world it just results in broken marriages, miserable career paths, depression, valium abuse, and a host of other things which, while horrible, are largely limited to ruining just a few lives at a time.

In Jonah’s case, though, he’s decided to spend his career poisoning the well of public discourse. Through ignorance, intention, or just general not-giving-a-fuck, Jonah has written a book which, while genuinely stupid on its face, is making enough of a splash that for decades we’re likely to hear that Liberals Are The Real Fascists. Aside from the pointless name-calling, this gives cover to a lot of actual fascists, downplays the actual suffering that’s been caused by real fascism, prevents us from ever having any serious discussions about fascism which might serve to identify and prevent trends toward it here, teaches that political correctness and diversity and tolerance are not only just as bad as Nazism but responsible for Nazism, and generally encourages a lot of people to think of their fellow citizens as un-American, unworthy of being in any way even listened to on any subject.

His book, in other words, is an intellectual tragedy that divides people, hardens hatred and mistrust, and guarantees an atmosphere of obstructionist bad faith just when we have so many problems that will end up getting people killed if they’re not solved quickly.

It’s easy, with that book cover especially and everything else we know he’s said over the years, to shrug him off as a clown. But as Al Franken once said about Rush Limbaugh, he’s a clown at the carnival, capering in front of the broken rollercoaster to distract us from the mangled bodies being hauled away.

And God help me, even as a bleeding-heart liberal, as someone who knows how hard it is to stop listening to an awful parent, as a person of a certain weight and IQ (and one who is used to being told by my friends, as I imagine Jonah must be often, that I’m smarter than objective reality would suggest), there are times when I just can’t find it in me to care about his feelings.

If nothing else it looks like he can’t help himself, and so the only way to keep him from continuing to feed the hate is to marginalize him. To deconstruct him and his nonsense with ridicule. We can, and should, dismiss Jonah Goldberg from public debates about serious subjects. But first we have to show everyone why he’s a disruptive influence and how he’s earned it on his own merits. Otherwise you have a guy in a big red nose declaiming “They laughed at Galileo, they laughed at Edison”.

I like to think of it as an intervention.

Dude. I’m being moderated? Was it something I said?

Dude! you left out the photo of Dubya holding hands with a saudi prince as they strolled along a path lined with “good intentions”!

Well, perhaps it wasn’t totally teh gey. Perhaps Dubya was whispering “Daddy! You’re so masterful!”

You know, these photos reminded me of an idea I had for a great campaign ad this fall, though I doubt anyone would do it. Show McCain in a montage of his various lusty embraces with Codpiece, accompanied by the song “I Honestly Love You” by Olivia Newton John.

Huh, huh? Am I right?

Please don’t associate “super gay” with any of those wretches, especially the Saudi’s handmaiden. It’s almost enough to re-awaken my comatose gag reflex.

After nearly two weeks waiting for my techie son to get my computer back online, it is a relief to come back to the fine World O’ Crap. I was becoming lax in my concern for our future welfare.

Republicans have no interest in funding public education, in fact Goldberg has opined more than once that public education has no place in his world. They’ve nearly succeeded in making a mockery of Ben Franklin’s dream of an educated populace and have thus nearly realized what he and many of the other nation’s foundlings most feared. We have a population of fools, easily malleable and willing to suck up to the sweet milk of easy answers with which to lull into sitcom sleep.

When a child and learning history from my father (and a little in school) I always wondered if the people that lived under dire oppression fully realized their oppression. Never did I think that I’d live to see the answer to that question splayed out in front of me everyday.

I was going to comment, but those fucking bush pics sent me into my own hell-spewing rage and I can longer type.

fwiw, our pal perfesser Dr Mike PhD will be on Thom Hartmann’s Air America radio show 02.26.08 blubbering about his latest o-piss

Something to say?