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North Dakota, embittered that its southern namesake soaks up the regional tourism dollars thanks to its mountainside full of massive Presidential death masks, is attempting to prove that it too contains politicians whose heads were apparently carved from solid granite:

BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) — A measure approved by the North Dakota House gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being, a step that would essentially ban abortion in the state.

The bill is a direct challenge to Roe v. Wade, the U.S. Supreme Court decision that extended abortion rights nationwide, supporters of the legislation said.

Representatives voted 51-41 to approve the measure Tuesday. It now moves to the North Dakota Senate for its review.

The bill declares that “any organism with the genome of homo sapiens” is a person protected by rights granted by the North Dakota Constitution and state laws.

While this is bad news for the pro-choice community, it’s good news for the country’s engineers, since each fertile woman’s reproductive system will now have to be reclassified as an amusement park ride, and inspected annually for structural safety.

WildFallopianTubes.jpg

A group of organisms with the genome of homo sapiens enjoys a day of fun at Fargo’s new water park as they ride the Wild Fallopian Tube.

46 Responses to “You May Get Wet On This Fertilization”

Sorry about getting technical, but as a human geneticist, their classification really bothers me – is trisomy 21 still considered a human genome? What about sex-cells?

Putting on my Malkin mask: either this will allow aborting the mentally retarded, or ban nocturnal emissions!!!

Last night on the History channel I watched a show about “Rogue Waves”, random 100ft waves that come out of *nowhere* and sink ships. These stupid stupid people are like rogue waves, seeming to come out of nowhere and swamp common sense.

You’ve anticipated my suggestion that a tourism boycott is out of the question. I’m trying to figure a way that every unwanted, unadoptable special-needs child in the country could magically appear on the courthouse steps in Bismark overnight, but every idea I’ve come up with involves having to physically enter the state.

And, y’know, it’s not even possible to obtain an abortion in N. Dakota, is it? They’re just opening a can of worms so they can bet on which one wriggles out first?

Whatever will they do about “spontaneous abortions”, which some people know as miscarriages? That’s God’s way of fucking with us.

I guess the closest legal comparison to miscarriage is manslaughter? Like if you leave your car on a hill and it runs someone over, that sort of thing.

Would they arrest me on a “biohazard”/”bioterrorism” (I almost typed “biotourism,” but you’ve already covered that pretty well, Scott…) charge if I started smearing my period blood onto a postcard and sending it to the N.D. state legislature every month?

Hey, they can’t tase me from THERE, dammit. Or do you think that they’d bring in the testosterone-poisoned goons from “Homeland (uber alles!) Security” down here and tase me in the comfort of my own personal slum?

LOOKIT HERE, YOU REDNECK PRAIRIE-DOG-FUCKING MOUTH-BREATHING FUCKTARDS!!!!!! I JUST MAILED YOU PROOF OF MY MONTHLY “HOMICIDES,” EVERY TIME THAT MY BODY RIGHTFULLY AND NATURALLY REJECTS ANOTHER FUCKING OVUM!!! ENJOY IT, THEY TELL ME THAT IT TASTES A LITTLE LIKE STEAK TARTARE, ESP. WHEN YOU PUT THE RAW EGG ON TOP!!!

And I won’t stop mailing-in my clotted cunt-spooge until those clusterfuckers GET THE FUCK ***OUTTA*** MY CUNT!!!!!!

Lemme see a porno chick TOP THAT.

Bravo to Doghouse on the brilliant idea of the “unwanted”/”imperfect”/”non-newborn” children who can’t seem to get adopted, despite Angelina Jolie and all of the clinic-bombing bibul-bangers who CLAIM to “luuuuuurv” teh BAYBEEEEZ, but they never ONCE offer to foster or adopt anything but NEWBORN CAUCASIANS WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PHYSICAL OR MENTAL CHALLENGES, INFIRMITIES, OR COSMETIC INADEQUACIES. Dude, if you manage the schematics, I’ll drive the bus! No shit, Dawg (sorry to channel Randy Jackson, honestly didn’t mean that) — THIS, I will actually pull off, as opposed to the Vitty-Cent Fap-Fest debacle.

BTW, Scott: Brilliant, if horrifying post, but when in the hell are y’all gonna get around to adding COLORED fonts? Sometimes, the righteous indignation cannot be properly expressed with mere bolding and italics, y’know?

XOXOXO
A.S.C.

And seriously, we’ve got the occasional law/Constitutional scholar around here, somebody get back to me on the biohazard thing, ’cause THAT, I can do, even if I have to fake the blood/spooge/ovum.

Have only read the opening paragraph, but it was so good I had to say something immediately.

mountainside full of massive Presidential death masks

Best thing I’ve read this yr.

You must be taller than this line to go on the ride.

P.S.: Shout-out to WO’C & THE best PMS “cure” I’ve invented thus far, aside from menthol cigarettes…

http://anntichristscoulter.blogspot.com/2009/02/best-pms-cure-of-2009-thus-far.html

ENJOY!

Colored fonts give me a migraine. So do the Dakotas, though. A significant part of my family is from there, and it’s basically Alabama with more ice.

Apropos very little, I was reading AlterNet recently, and have the impression that other countries may not, in fact, be full of perfect adoptable orphan babies just waiting for US parents. Apparently a lot of those children are stolen or coerced away from their actual parents, or spirited out of the country past waiting adopters there because there’s more money in providing them to Americans and Europeans. What they *do* have is a lot of older, troubled, or disabled children nobody wants to adopt, surprise, surprise.

Anyway, Scott, I appreciate your taking a story that would have left me screaming and making it funny enough I can probably hold off on the screaming till my partner’s awake.

Um, I think the crazies screwed up pretty badly. Calling an organism a person just kicks the definitional debate one step further down the road. Is a zygote/blastocyst/foetus an organism? Not by any definition I’m aware of.

That’s God’s way of fucking with us.

Assuming the existence of an Eternal Prankster, I’m pretty sure that God’s way of fucking with us was to give us wingnuts – as good a reason as any to swear off God.

BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) — A measure approved by the North Dakota House gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being, a step that would essentially ban abortion in the state.

I don’t remember the part of the constitution that says all men have the right to live in a woman’s uterus. I’ll have to keep this in mind if I ever move. Sure, living in somebody’s uterus will be cramped, but a small house is easier to clean, and I like cozy places.

And since it’s a fundamental human right, I won’t even have to pay rent!

The pseudo-scientific language bothers me almost as much as the bill. If you want to ban abortion, write a bill that says so plainly and clearly. There are many, many ways you could validly construe the language of that bill that would NOT outlaw abortion (Some of which have been pointed out above), but of course nobody will construe it that way, because it’s not really about what it says it’s about.

You owe me a keyboard, Scott…Wild Fallopian Tube…

I do hope ND realizes that chimpanzees have 98% of the human genome and I’d be willing to bet that a case will be made that 2% difference is small beer.

Indeed, I’d be willing to bet that a chimp is closer to human than Rush Limbaugh.

You must be taller than this line to go on the ride.

Just what North Dakota needs…another excuse for a dick-swinging contest.

I don’t remember the part of the constitution that says all men have the right to live in a woman’s uterus.

Given the amount of time we spend trying to crawl back into one, perhaps there should be.

Wow, you people like to fuck with the Dakotas, huh? I personally love the Badlands and have enjoyed wonderful vacations at Rushmore, the various caves in the region, and dearly wish to get back soon to Theodore Roosevelt National Park. Oh, and to play golf at the Bully Pulpit in Medora. Dinner reservations must be made at the East 40 in Bismark, by the way.

Seriously, not everything there sucks, but DO NOT talk to or feed the politicians!

trizzlor:
What about sex-cells?

Counted as 1/2 a human being. This shouldn’t be too difficult to implement as there is a historical precedent. (Of course this will mean that male masturbation becomes voter fraud.)

trizzlor again:
I guess the closest legal comparison to miscarriage is manslaughter?

YM “godslaughter”, which I thought would make a jim-dandy ‘eavy metal band-name. Turns out it is the title of an album by an outfit called Gaesa.

actor212:
“I don’t remember the part of the constitution that says all men have the right to live in a woman’s uterus.”

Given the amount of time we spend trying to crawl back into one, perhaps there should be.

“Out of woman come the man
Spend the rest of his life gettin’ back where he can”
Peter Gabriel – Humdrum

I wonder if this means that pregnant women will not be subject to arrest and imprisonment, since their embryos will have all the rights to due process that a person does, but will be completely innocent of any crime. Or do you just get an arrest warrant for the embryo, too, on some sort of accessory theory?

heydave:

Thanks for the kind words about the Dakotas. Most of my family (both parents, all 4 grandparents, 90% of the aunt/uncle/cousin strain) are from the Fargo area. (Full disclosure: Kent Conrad, D-ND, is my 2nd cousin.)

This area (upper Midwest) used to be a hotbed of radicalism (in the original IWW sense of the word). My maternal grandfather founded the local grange; my great-aunt was a socialist who worked for Eugene Debs, etc., etc.

Lately, though, you’re right — some of the politicans there now are truly bizarre (to be polite). IIRC, South Dakota’s abortion law is even MORE restrictive than ND’s is.

To return to the tourism thought in the first graf, these are no doubt the same politicians who thought that North Dakota’s (lack of) tourism problem could be solved simply by rebranding the state as “Dakota”.

Well, they’re making progress. Someday they’ll legislate that women have the legal rights of human beings.

Don’t hold yer breath, Rugosa. I think that this “legislation” pretty much precludes/negates that entire concept.

Just being snarky, Annti. If I held my breath waiting for women’s rights to be truly recognized, I would have turned blue and fallen over a long time ago.

You probably thought you’d never have to read anything about anti-abortion whackjob Phill Kline again in the wake of his un-appointment from the justice system by Johnson County, KS voters last fall. As you may remember, Phill subsequently took a job teaching law at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University.

Turns out on the last day Phill was in office, a mysterious package was mailed to Liberty University. Unfortunately (for Phill) the package wasn’t addressed properly and was returned for address correction. Inspection on return revealed that the package contained a number of records from Phill’s anti-abortion crusades.

Good thing (for Phill) he’s a Republican – a Democrat would probably be in big trouble over this.

gives a fertilized human egg the legal rights of a human being

How can they tell?

From that, one can conclude that any woman between puberty and menopause is possibly two human beings.

Siamese twin laws having nothing on this potential mayhem.

What about sex-cells?

I’ll have three, please. No need for a bag, I’ll eat them here.

Or did you mean this in the sense of “sleeper cells”? Islamosfacist terrorists lie in wait for orders from Osama to have sex on our subway trains and in our buildings?

And Mentis? You obviously are a man of good taste and breeding to have picked up on what was playing on my iPod ;-)

What about tumors?

[...] Thanks World O’ Crap! [...]

Any chance of getting actual text of the law? We need to have real science test this legislation for holes. But the post have been a real eye opener. Thanks all!

Werebear:
From that, one can conclude that any woman between puberty and menopause is possibly two human beings.

No, as it happens.

http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec22/ch241/ch241c.html:
“A baby girl is born with egg cells (oocytes) in her ovaries. Between 16 and 20 weeks of pregnancy, the ovaries of a female fetus contain 6 to 7 million oocytes. Most of the oocytes gradually waste away, leaving about 1 to 2 million present at birth. None develop after birth. At puberty, only about 300,000—more than enough for a lifetime of fertility—remain. Only a small percentage of oocytes mature into eggs. The many thousands of oocytes that do not mature degenerate. Degeneration progresses more rapidly in the 10 to 15 years before menopause. All are gone by menopause.

Only about 400 eggs are released during a woman’s reproductive life, usually one during each menstrual cycle. Until released, an egg remains dormant in its follicle-suspended in the middle of a cell division. Thus, the egg is one of the longest-lived cells in the body. Because a dormant egg cannot perform the usual cellular repair processes, the opportunity for damage increases as a woman ages. A chromosomal or genetic abnormality is thus more likely when a woman conceives a baby later in life.”

Uh…wow. “any organism with the genome of homo sapiens”? Are they aware that there is no way to interpret that ridiculous definition in such a way that it applies to fertilized ova, but does not apply to any cell containing human genetic material? Oops, bruised my toe, negligent manslaughter! Kinda sucks for cancer patients that any treatment they can get is now legally considered genocide, eh?

mentis fugit:
“Of course this will mean that male masturbation becomes voter fraud.”
Brilliant! And I’m willing to bet ACORN is involved somehow.

Hysterical Woman:
“What about tumors”
Even less controversial to call that an organism – get your chemo while it’s legal, suckers.

From that, one can conclude that any woman between puberty and menopause is possibly two human beings.

Thereby giving every woman TWO votes on Election Day. Hmmm.

heydave:

Asshole politicians do not get elected in a vacuum.

Rugosa: I knew that. I was just belaboring the point, since I won’t ever be going into labor. EVER. So bite on THAT, North Dakota.

And yes, I’m still trying to find out if I can be popped for a biohazard law (you never know, after they killed the “alleged” anthrax scientist) for sending menses-smeared postcards to every member of their mouth-breathing legislature. The operator on the USPS 800# hung up on me, dunno why. Prolly a fetus-flinging fanatic her damned self.

And thanks for the info, Mentis. I guess it explains why so many of the late-bloomer breeders in Hollywood are having autistic kids. If they didn’t really WANT to have kids, did they think that dropping one @ 45 would make them look “still fertile”/”young”, i.e., more “marketable” as “talent”?

Although, when you look at Octopussy “mom” (oh, she’s a mutha, alright…), her kids are going to be damaged because of the sicko-mutant way she was over-implanted, not because of her age. She’s already got one with ADHD, one with autism, two others with other learning disabilities, imagine how hard life is going to be for the eight new sideshow babies. Hopefully, once the state puts them into HEALTHY home(s),(I can DREAM, can’t I?!?!??!) they’ll never know that they were born solely to produce “income”/”fame” for that heartless, soulless skank. If it was me, that girl would’ve been sewn SHUT after the FIRST multiple birth AND NO JOB. Yeah, I’m a career-deprived loser my damned self, but at least I’m not inflicting that onto any OFFSPRING.

Trizzlor: they took an ovary the size of a junior-grade football out of Psycho-Cunt “sister” in ’06. Since she was still, ostensibly, “fertile” at the time, would that make her a serial killer? It wasn’t malignant, just humongous and causing immense internal hemorrhaging. I don’t think that she saved it in a jar of formaldehyde like the Margaret Atwood short story, though. And she never told me if it had teeth & hair or not.

And J Neo Marvin: NEVER gonna happen. The whole point of this shit is to reduce women to brood mares, thereby stripping us of even MORE rights that took us a few millenia to get, so no, I don’t see us as getting an extra vote for being fertile and (as defined by the FDA under Bush & the LA state legislature) “pre-pregnant.”
They play it like it’s just a “good idea” to get ALL women onto prenatal vitamins/folic acid supplements, but really, it’s to constantly remind us that if we’re NOT breeding, then we SHOULD BE, ’cause there will always be a need for a servant class. We, of course, regardless of intellect, ability, experience or expertise, comprise the “breeder class.”
See why I’ve been wanting a partial hysterectomy since I was 16? I wouldn’t even care if they sent me out to the colonies to clean up toxic waste, as long as they stopped referring to me as “PRE-motherfucking-PREGNANT.”

and amen, democom.

So, is this booger I just dug out of my nose an organism? Can I claim it as a dependent, or do I have to put it back?

Annti – I hadn’t followed the Octopussy mom story closely (it hurt my eyes to read about it). But you say she had that many damaged babies and some Gyn doc actually implanted her with an obscene number of more babies?! This I truly do not understand – sympathy for the infertile, yes, but solving the infertility part of the problem by producing 8 more innocent little babies who may face lifelong impairments just to fluff her ego? Sorry, that doc should be flogged in the public square

Indeed, I’d be willing to bet that a chimp is closer to human than Rush Limbaugh.

Well of course the chimp is. Limbaugh and his kind are (literally) descended from swine.

Indeed, Rugosa. Her parents, who prolly aren’t the most ideal people to be raising ANY kids (seeing how well they did with THAT batshit-crazy bitch), are raising, feeding, clothing, and housing her first 6 kids. They get sizable subsidies from their “church,” and no doubt get tax cuts from being “non-parent caregivers” for so many of her neglected spawn, but for the most part, this freakazoid serial-procreator has NEVER had to take responsibility for ANY of her massive fuck-ups, including PURPOSEFULLY creating children that she KNOWS will be developmentally disabled. Every time you add another zygote, you lower the chances of the zygotes involved getting enough nutrition, oxygen, or room to grow, in order to be born healthy and non-damaged. And if any of those embryos splits into twins or triplets, that even further multiplies the chance that they’ll have learning disabilities. I’m no breeder, obviously, and I’m sure as hell not a scientist, but there’s no way in hell that eight fetuses are going to fare equally or well.

Look it up. None of the children thus far are SEVERELY mentally-disabled or developmentally disadvantaged, except maybe for the autistic kid(s) {I doubt that it’s REALLY only ONE, especially with the new octo-litter.}, but she fucking KNEW THE RISKS the FIRST fucking time that she had herself multiply-implanted. Welfare queen used her STUDENT LOAN MONEY to do so, INSTEAD OF GETTING THE “EDUCATION” that she now claims will “enable her to provide for her children,” though she’s never actually finished a whole year in college or trade school, or even has a CLUE as to what she’s “going to” do “for a living.”

Personally, I think that we should try & convict her for gross intentional child abuse and incarcerate her in an open cage atop Ronald Reagan’s grave. “Culture of life,” my wide, white, gelatinous tattooed ass.

Imagine how many people could have ACTUALLY GOTTEN EDUCATIONS with that loan money that she pissed away. Imagine how many kids who are born with UNINTENTIONAL birth defects could use the help that California’s Medicaid (or whatever they call it) and SSI are going to have to shell-out for her egocentric cunt-fest. Imagine how many kids, all over the fucking world, who keep being born, every fucking day, to parents who didn’t even get the benefit of SEX EDUCATION or BIRTH CONTROL, thanks to the bibul-banging fucktards who ran Dumbya and his “abstinence-only” programs designed to multiply the AIDS epidemic. Imagine how many people whose lives could’ve been saved with something as simple as a rubber, but ohhhh, no, Thorazine Queen Laura Bush told ‘em to “Just Say No.” Four-year-old little girls are still being raped in several African countries, because instead of EDUCATING PEOPLE ABOUT HOW HIV AND AIDS ARE SPREAD, said Thorazine Queen told ‘em about JEEBUS, and CheneyBushCo. drastically cut funding to the U.N & Unicef; the concept of raping a “virgin” to “cure” AIDS still exists, and hundreds of thousands of little girls don’t even GO TO SCHOOL, because they don’t want to be raped and/or murdered.

But this skankorific moron is raking in the dough, and for what? Pure fucking psychotic/sociopathic EGO. And the depressing thought is, she’s TOO FUCKING STUPID TO EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT SHE’S DONE, AND WILL NEVER POSSESS THE INTELLECT TO FEEL EVEN *REMOTELY* GUILTY ABOUT ANY OF IT. Just like Reagan’s “Alzheimer’s,” the evil bitch will get off, scot-free, with nary a wrinkle on her surgically-enhanced face.

“From that, one can conclude that any woman between puberty and menopause is possibly two human beings.”

Schrodinger’s Zygote?

Well, if this goes through, what the heck are they going to do with women who drink and smoke while pregnant? I mean, it’s illegal for children to drink and smoke, and it’s illegal for adults to supply children with drinks and smokes, so who do they arrest? And if they arrest the mother, shouldn’t someone take custody of the zygote? Will there be ZPS departments now? (Zygote Protective Services)

I think that Arizona (though I’ve probably got the wrong state) tried a couple or three alcoholic “mothers” who gave their offspring Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, knowing that they were pregnant and also knowing the damage that they’d do to the kids. Dunno if it was upheld on appeal, though. Been a while.

Y’know what the real “Zygote Protective Service” is?

BIRTH CONTROL.

Make sure that everybody has equal access to sex education and birth control, and you cut down on the percentages of children born to unqualified “parents” AND on the numbers of kids born with F.A.S., learning disabilities, birth defects, etc.

I don’t know why (other than the obvious marketing/retail profits produced by every spawn that sees daylight) it is such an egocentric obsession for EVERYFUCKINGBODY in this country to think that they HAVE to breed, that THEIR DNA is so fucking precious that it MUST be replicated, but I do know that the smarter people I know are the only ones who’ve gotten over that shit. Homo sapiens is never going to go extinct, until we’ve completely destroyed the planet, so it’s not like we have any NEED for more spawn. There are just too many bonuses/incentives for people TO breed, that very few ever even have to BOTHER to think twice about it.

We praise those who procreate, and ostracize those who don’t. How bass-ackwards is that? I want the same food stamps and WIC and welfare and dental benefits from Medicaid that the breeders get, dammit. I’m supposed to survive on $65/mo. in food stamps, but if I had just ONE spawn, I’d be getting $235/mo. How is that even REMOTELY proportional or fair? Where’s my reward for exerting some SELF-CONTROL? There is none.

No, I don’t want any fucking republicunts/bibul-bangers/fetus-flinging fetishists invading my cunt, any more than they should anyone else’s. But there ought to be incentives for non-breeders, just as there are for breeders, dammit. Level the fucking playing field. Breeders get higher pay, better jobs, faster promotions, more job security, lower insurance rates, better home loans/mortgage rates — where’s the reward for NOT breeding, other than helping slow down overpopulation?

Yes, there’s a bigoted state rep. (possibly just a candidate, I didn’t do any follow-up on the story) down in Kenner, LA, who offered “incentive sterilizations” to “welfare queens,” meaning, he wanted disadvantaged black women to stop breeding. I’m not talking about that hitler-wannabe kinda bullshit. I want EVERYBODY to stop breeding, and I want those of us who CHOOSE NOT TO BREED to get the same fucking benefits as those who REFUSE TO CONTROL THEIR OWN BODILY FUNCTIONS. Just like Bill Hicks said, there’s nothing more “miraculous” about childbirth than there is about taking a dump. Except that you don’t have to keep feeding a turd or send it to school.

Anntichrist — You probably don’t publish a newsletter, but I will be reading your blog from now on…

I have to nitpick a little bit with your depiction of Nadja Suleman as an egocentric psychopath. See, I think the natalist propaganda got to you there a bit. I agree she’s a psychopath, but I don’t think she’s doing this for her own ego at all; I think she’s doing it because she’s got the exact same mental disorder as “animal hoarders,” except she’s a baby hoarder. Of course, the patriarchy and natalist propaganda-pushers think the idea of a woman loving babies to an unhealthy degree is just peachy, so it has so far been treated as several other species of unremarkable.

Shit, if the authorities found an impoverished woman living with her parents in a tiny space with sixteen cats, they’d be all over that. Sixteen babies, not so much. I also think the timing is interesting — her oldest kids are getting to the age where they’re not babies anymore, and she seems to really have an idee fixee about having babies. Kids, she couldn’t give a damn less about, and it never occurred to her pointed little mentally-ill head that babies don’t stay cute forever.

If we were talking about cats and not kids here, she’d be one of these people who either had 27 unneutered cats crammed into her tiny, cat-shit-filled apartment, spawning litters of ever-more-inbred kittens at regular intervals, or else she’d be one of these people who serially adopted kitten after kitten, all of which “ran away,” or “died” mysteriously just as they were getting to the age where they’d be cats instead of cute little squeaky fluffballs.

But of course, we’re not talking about cats here, we’re talking about OMG BAYBEEZ!!!one! so her analogous pathology has gone, sadly, unremarked. I’m sorta a hardliner on the subject — I think the doctor who implanted a young, healthy woman with a prior history of fertility with eight embryos (thereby violating the standard of care so badly it took out a restraining order in three states, two provinces, and a canton of Switzerland) ought to be delicensed, blacklisted, and possibly drug out into the street and shot. And then Nadja Suleman needs to be put in a locked ward somewhere, far away from anything even resembling a baby, and aggressively treated until she starts acting like she’s not obsessed with having (in either the sense of “owning” or “birthing”) babies anymore.

Actually, Interrobang, I did consider that particular social paraphilia. But then I looked at her medically-mutated, twerpy/creepy/nasty little face. That smug smirk that shrugs off all pleas for sanity/reason/safety towards those children, the uppity white-trash bitch who just twists her Joker-like freakazoid lips and bats her big brown eyes (yes, including the third one) @ TV interviewers and says, “Yeah, well, people can say whatever they wanna say, they’re just jealous!”/i> or something similarly 7th-grade.

My late nephew was spawned by one of those baby-hoarders, who was just recently trying to ADOPT a baby (thankfully, SOMEBODY had the fucking sanity to stop THAT transaction!!!) after she’d tried to keep her SIXTH husband by saying she was pregnant (though her tubes had been tied back in 1990) and that didn’t work. She’s one of the main reasons that my nephew was out in the fucking streets, running with the drug-dealing white-trash-with-money motherfuckers who murdered him. I well know the dangers of immature morons who want BAYYBEEEZZ, and am more thankful than you can know that THAT particular baby-birthing skank is CLOSED FOR BIDNESS.

But look at Nadia or Nadja or however the sociopath is spelling it this week: that’s a failed starlet if ever there was one. She didn’t get those vaginal lips applied to her face for nothin’, honey. She was an ugly geek in grade school, swore that she’d turn into a “butterfly” and have revenge on all who mocked her, found some IDIOT who’d approve student loans for an illiterate skank who had NO FUCKING INTENTION OF GETTING THAT EDUCATION, thereby grandly defrauding the federal government and the American taxpayers (who’ll be raising all 14 of those poor, damned-to-hell-on-earth kids), and BOUGHT HERSELF A NEW FACE. When the starlet avenue didn’t pan out, she started having parentless chirrens so that “somebody would REALLY LOVE ME, and FOREVER,” and realized that she could really rake in the state and federal subsidies, every time that she spread her legs to welcome the rat-tailed mullet spooge of every unemployed douchebag down at the 7-11. She turned herself into a fucking PUPPY MILL. She’s not the first, and she won’t be the last, she’s just the only one (far as we know) who’s used a “fertility” Mengele to help her make EIGHT OF THEM AT ONCE.

Why? ‘Cause there’s NOTORIETY IN IT. It made her famous. We’re sitting here DISCUSSING that skank. Oh, sure, uber-republicunt blow-pop-headed hair-model Billy Bush (how in the fuck THAT ever got a job in broadcasting… well, I DO know how he got it, but I don’t wanna picture it in my head…) can posture and pose on “Access Hollywood” about how “gross” the whole Octopussy orgy is, and why those ‘highly-educated’ “journalists” (HA!!!) won’t be talking about/”covering” the vagina-fest anymore. AFTER they’ve pulled-in a few mill in ad revenue ON THAT SKANK’S BACK.

And no, I don’t buy that she did this because of the highly-poisonous Murkin mentality that women’s only worth IS their cunts. While that mentality DOES exist, and is why toads like Newt Gingrich were able to reverse over 100 years’ worth of feminism with ONE FUCKING BLOWJOB, I don’t give it credit for this particular fucktard. She made this decision knowingly, purposefully, with malice and aforethought. Mentally ill she may be, and she sure as HELL oughta be taken off of the streets (and away from 7-11 and all other sperm banks), but that still does not absolve her of responsibility.

Ted Bundy was “mentally ill,” but we fried his evil murderous misogynistic ass anyway, didn’t we. This bitch should be tried and hung for deliberate cruelty to infants/offspring/the general aesthetic. And the “doctor”? Drop him off naked, down at the docks, with a $100 bill super-glued to his asshole. That slow and painful punishment will be adequate, I believe. If it doesn’t kill him after all, we can always crank-up the pickup.

fucking tags.

and fuck Morris Bart the ambulance-chasing corporation completely off of my planet, ’cause if I hadn’t gone to his hack chiropractor 11 years ago, my hands would still work.

Something to say?