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Archive for the 'Get the Butterfly Net!' Category

Scouting Report

Posted by scott on October 22nd, 2009

AllanErickson.jpg We don’t hang around the sandlots as much as we used to, thanks to the restraining order, but every once in awhile we’ll still catch a glimpse of a hot young fireballer burning up the bus leagues.  Today it’s Allan Erickson, who was called up from Short-Season A to play for American Thinker, and who pitched a shutout entitled Obama’s war on Fox News & half the country.  Now I’m sure some of you are checking your programs and thinking to yourself, “Who the hell is Allan Erickson?  And why are all these douchebags named Erickson?”  (As Jay B. once observed in comments: “Lars Larson. Erik Erickson. Douchebag Douchebageson. It’s a thing now.”)

Well, Allan is…some guy.  I guess that would be the best way to put it.  He has a personal blog, called “GOODNESS WORLD LIFE BLOG,” which — aside from sounding as though its title was badly translated from the Japanese — is distinguished by its apparent refusal to follow the modern fad for blogging with words, since it consists mostly of YouTube videos featuring global warming skeptics, patriotic half-time shows, and that crazy British Lord who thinks Obama is going to trade America to the EU in exchange for 24 dollars and a string of beads.  But occasionally he will make bold assertions of fact, which he then meticulously footnotes to prove they probably aren’t true:

MUSLIMS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD?

Are they?  I don’t think they are.  Why, have you heard something?

Sound like hyperbole?

I wish you’d made this quiz multiple choice.  Um…I’m gonna say, No?

Check out the facts.  (*Some are disputed.)

That’s going to make it very hard to grade.

Any civilization requires a 2.11 minimum fertility rate to survive.  Fertility rates in Europe are below sustainable levels.   The U.S. and Canadian fertility rates are about 1.6.   Thanks to influx of Latinos, our fertility rate is 2.11.   (We’d better reach out to Latinos!)  In 1970, there were 100,000 Muslims in America.  Today, there are more than 9,000,000 Muslims in America. (*BBC says the number is much lower.)

Europe is already gone.

Crap.  I meant to order some of that runny cheese before they went.

In 39 years, France will be a Muslim republic due to immigration and birth rates.  The French are not reproducing at a rate which will sustain their culture.  Meanwhile, Muslims are immigrating to France, and out breeding the French 8 to one.  (*BBC study disputes this conclusion.)

*BBC also thinks you look like the poor man’s Willem Dafoe.

Germany will be an Islamic republic by 2050: Germans openly acknowledge this fact. (*Another controversial assertion.)

This post reminds me of those arguments between Norman Bates and his “mother,” except it’s about demographics instead of murder, and I don’t remember any of Norman’s personalities being quite this racist.

But Mr. Erickson, as we said, got the Call, and is now hurling a little chin music at the President:

It is a good thing President Obama & Co. are angry with Fox.  It means Fox is doing its job, you know, holding the Executive Branch accountable, like a real news organization.

It is, indeed, an incredible simulation.

A real news organization serves the people, acting as a check on power by informing people so they can make good decisions at the polls.

But even when the voter is decisive and brimming with information, there still may be a moment of confusion when he gets to the polling place and realizes ACORN isn’t on the ballot.

The fact that Fox is holding Obama’s feet to the fire should cause rejoicing.

Oh, I’m sure there will be — they’re just waiting for the coals to get hot.  Fox viewers like their presidential feet with those char-broiled grill marks.

On the other hand, there are three bad news dimensions to all this:

Length, width, and depth?

…the rest of the media is content to lick Obama’s boots

Which frankly taste dry and overcooked.

…true to pattern Obama is glad to selfishly attack a private news organization (by the way, the most highly rated television news group in the nation), and the more Nero fiddles, the higher the flames.

So it’s his own fault his feet are burned, because the grill temperature is controlled by violin.  (And may I just say, when Willem commits to a metaphor, it’s for better or worse, till death do they part.)

Barack Obama is happy to fight a war on Fox.  Oh, that the Commander in Chief would fight the war on terror with as much energy and focus.

I agree.  Obama should order a Predator drone to follow Glenn Beck around and shoot Hellfire missiles at his Escalade.

He preaches unity with his mouth, but with his hands, he sows seeds of division.

He should spit the seeds of division out, leaving his hands free to fiddle up the fire, because Grandma likes her Tri-tip well done.  Now stand back and give Willem some air…

Do not forget how he applied thug tactics during the campaign while denigrating Fox, insulting average Americans as gun-toting Bible thumpers, encouraging racial tensions as he always had through ‘community organizing,’ i.e., ACORN.  Never forget how his machine took money from overseas.  Remember how he raised an enormous war chest via the internet with no way to track donors.  Don’t overlook the thug tactics used during the Texas caucuses, how law enforcement was instructed to suppress media criticism in Missouri, how free speech and a free press were quelled in Chicago when a reporter sought to cover Obama’s Chicago activities via Annenberg and Ayers and ‘education reform.’

(*BBC study concludes this is “a compendium of demented bullshit.”)

Notice today his army of Czars: radical leftists, race baiters, anti-American globalists, distinctly and angrily opposed to most traditional American values.

(*BBC throws up its hands and orders out for Chicken Vindaloo.)

And now we have his media czar Anita Dunn singing the praises of Chairman Mao, and bragging that the Obama campaign controlled the media. All this coming at a time she calls Fox nothing more than a Republican mouthpiece.  (Never mind that half of Fox’s viewers are Democrats and Independents, according to a recent survey by the Global Marketing Research Center.)

Ah yes, our old friends Global Marketing Research Center, and their poll for Dick Morris’ completely legitimate and totally not astroturfed Legion of Super-Villain Voters.

Journalists with an ounce of integrity see through the octopus ink now being spewed in the water, for this is what the war on Fox is all about, clouding the issues, providing cover, defense and retreat.  How odd to see a radical Leftist President in Nixonian garb.

Which really irks me, because this year I was gonna go as a Socialist Cephalopod Dressed as Nixon in Charred Wingtips for Halloween (it’s basically the standard Cthulu-in-a-suit costume, but you add a Tricky Dick mask and set your feet on fire).

Fox has been the only news TV organization willing to challenge this President on both foreign and domestic policy.  Fox is the only TV outfit with guts enough to run stories about ACORN corruption.  Fox is the only television organization covering what the roughly half the American people think about healthcare reform and cap ‘n trade, doing so with real coverage of Town Hall Meetings and Tea Parties.  Fox is the only substantive television news group asking the tough questions about Afghanistan.

Occasionally, while reading a wingnut’s column, I’ll come to an earnest and heartfelt passage like this, and realize how Glenn Corbett must have felt in Stranded in Space when he crash-landed on that fascist Earth on the opposite side of the Sun where everyone was left-handed and wore turtlenecks. But Willem is just getting warmed up…

The rest of the major media are either silent, complicit, or cheerleaders for this Government, a government populated in the main by radical leftists devoted to the destruction of our Republic, traitors by any definition.

Granted, accusing the press and the Administration of high treason is a commonplace nowadays, and some of you may be thinking Willem ought to be sent back down, that he clearly doesn’t have the stuff it takes to make it to the Show…

In case you have not noticed, the Constitution is taking a back seat to the EU and the U.N., and economic freedom is being absorbed into the socialist kool-aid served daily throughout D.C., the media, and the public schools.

And yeah, yeah, socialism and Jonestown references, that’s some pretty weak-ass cheese.  But wait’ll he throws the Sarah Palin whipping fantasy…!

Fox has challenged all this, and so Fox must pay.  Fox must pay, as Limbaugh did last week, by being tied to the scourging post and beat with lies, slander, and condemnation, excoriated in public by the most vicious and cruel campaign ever witnessed, unless you consider how Obama’s operatives treated Sarah Palin and her family to a similar whipping post.

And the beatings will continue.

We’re still getting daily search engine hits from that Nude Sarah Palin post Sheri wrote last October (“Was that title just a cheap stunt to bring up our Google hits, or was it part of a ploy by the police predator task force to seek out perverts?  Who can say.”), and I can only imagine what “Sarah Palin in Mandingo” is going to do for our stats.  Anyway, when I read Willem’s work I wonder why he wastes his time watching TV — even Fox News.  It’s like Shelly Berman’s line about Erskine Caldwell, “I don’t know why that man bothers seeking success.  He can have so much fun just sitting around, thinking.”

But just when you figured you’d got Willem’s windage, he throws a change-up! Out goes the flogging and the fire, and in comes the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre!

The only remaining questions are: how long will the People put up with Al Capone in the White House, how far will Al Capone push things, what will be the end game (2010 or 2012?), and how many bodies will he leave in his wake, both at home, and abroad?

That is some Major League batshittery.  You could look it up.

Dr. Taint, Medicine-Legal Woman

Posted by scott on September 21st, 2009

Taitz.jpg

I bailed out of the Emmy broadcast early — when they began to honor reality programming — and surfed to RenewAmerica in search of entertainment, where it dawned on me that Hollywood was missing a golden opportunity in Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.  After all, shows about doctors are popular, and so are shows about lawyers; and while she’s actually a dentist, Dr. Taitz is not only a bona fide attorney licensed to malpractice in the state of California, she is also the most notable graduate of Taft Law School, a non-accredited correspondence course that will teach you to, in John Houseman’s immortal words from The Paper Chase, “think like a lawyer,” or how to draw Sparky, depending on whether you scored higher on the LSAT or that Free Art Test from the back of Mystery in Space comics.
LearnCartooning.jpg

Plus, there’s her sex appeal.  One need only gaze at the good doctor’s head shot to see that she was made for TV — specifically, The Real Housewives of Orange County — not to mention her preternaturally glossy lips, and her creative use of Crest White Strips (I knew they worked great on teeth, but I never would have thought to apply them directly to my scalp!).  Finally, there’s her demonstrated flair for the dramatic; in the very first sentence of her column, she dubs President Obama “the Usurper,” in much the way characters in the Harry Potter universe refer to Voldemort as “He Who Must Not Be Named.”

Please don’t listen to vicious rumors

I am getting close to removing the Usurper, and there are more and more vicious rumors about me and my whole family. It is 5:30 in the morning and I had to cut on sleep yet again to take some time and debunk all those vicious rumors.

As most folks know, you can debunk regular rumors 9 to 5, but with vicious rumors, you really gotta keep farmer’s hours.

First, there was a rumor that there is a declaration by Larry Sinclair filed with court. Please, go on Pacer, it is a public record. There is nothing there, no such declaration. People need to understand that a person cannot just come from the street and file a declaration or an affidavit.

A person must come first from the Post Office with her mail order diploma.

There was a rumor that Philip Berg somehow became part of my case with judge Carter and filed a subpoena to ambassador of Kenya as part of this case. Again, Berg has nothing to do with this case. There is nothing in the case having to do with Berg.

Yeah, I guess so.  I just wish I knew if Berg was somehow involved…

Lastly, there was a vicious rumor that my husband is somehow connected with swine flu and swine flu vaccine. Again, ridiculous rumor.

I imagine there’s no more galling an indignity for the professional conspiracy theorist than to have to waste her time refuting wild accusations.

My husband studied computer science and business. He never studied pharmacology, doesn’t know pharmacology and wouldn’t know the difference between a virus and an elephant.

So your husband’s an idiot.

He is a CEO of a company that produces a software, which is a tool used in research.  It is used by many universities in the country. It is used in agriculture research, in chemical research, in any research that deals with molecules and computation of properties of molecules, that are being synthesised.

As long as they aren’t dealing with virus molecules or elephant molecules, it’s an accurate software.

There are millions and millions of molecules in the world.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Madame Curie!   Let’s not start talking all crazy here…!

New ones are being synthesised every day, my husband has no clue what different companies are doing in their research. It is similar to any other software that is used as a tool.

In this case, a box wrench.

There is an accounting software, quicken. A computer engineer, who invented this software didn’t become your accountant, didn’t enter the information in your tax returns. Microsoft Word or Word Perfect is used by many writers, but it didn’t make Microsoft a poet or a comedian or a screen writer. Microsoft Word or Word Perfect is just a tool. I hope I explained this point and wouldn’t have to go to it again.

And I believe we all share your hope.

My husband is a good man, he is a devoted father and he is there for our three sons when I am travelling around the country raising support for Obama’s illegitimacy issue, when I am in court fighting to make sure this country doesn’t turn into another Communist Hell, as I experienced as a child, so we don’t live under Dictator Obama with all his szars like another Himler or Herring or another Beria.

Well, Dr. Taitz didn’t actually live under Beria, since he died before she were born, but I’m sure the rest of the paragraph was properly spelled in the original Cyrillic, and I enthusiastically endorse her refusal to live under the totalitarian boot heel of smoked and salted fish.

I hope people stop attacking my family and start attacking Obama and demand that he produce his vital records immediately or resign or be removed immediately.

To quote the industrial short Once Upon a Honeymoon from the MST3K episode Night of the Bloodbeast:  “Yeah?  Well wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one piles up first.”

Let’s make sure Obama shows up for his deposition with his hospital birth certificate ready for examination.

Oh, let’s!  Let’s do!  But you know what would make it even more fun?  Let’s just send a random black man to the deposition and see if Dr. Taitz, Esq. notices.

Move Over Mother Mary, There’s a New Madonna in Town!

Posted by scott on September 1st, 2009

atlasFACE.jpgI have to confess, I’m a bit hesitant to take issue with Pamela Geller’s latest contribution to Newsmax, since her bio reveals that she’s “the editor and publisher of the Atlas Shrugs Web site,” which means she outranks me, as I’m just the copyboy around here (although I do sometimes get to fill in on the Miss Lonelyhearts column).  Also — and I know I’ve mentioned this once or twice in the past — whenever I see a picture of Pam, she looks as though she’s surreptitiously removed Jennifer Lopez’s face and glued it to her own skull, but it doesn’t quite fit, and now she’s stretched it all out like a borrowed sweater and Jennifer probably doesn’t even want it back anymore.  The point is, I’m leery of contradicting an experienced and widely-read online journalist who might respond by telling me to “put the lotion on its skin, or it gets the hose.”

Still, if I were the editor and publisher of a high profile blog, there are perhaps one or two little things I might change about Pam’s current column.  Not the title, though.  That’s gold…

One Year Later, America Needs Palin More than Ever

It was a year ago last Saturday that Sarah Palin walked onto the national stage and raised us up.

Ephesians 2:6.

Those of us who were fed up with a limp GOP moving center left were thrilled with a principled conservative, a rugged, individualist vice presidential pick. It saved a McCain campaign that had been on life support.

Shhh!  Don’t tell Pam how the election came out.  She might steal your face!

What a year it has been for her and us. Looking back in hindsight, could the differences between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama be more stark? Obama is all artifice. Palin is all real, all that. Obama is all style. Palin is all substance. Obama is anti-American. Palin is all-American. Obama holds the U.S. military in contempt. Palin reveres the military. The military loves Palin. The military is on to Obama. The corrupt activist media loves Obama. The corrupt activist media loathes and libels Palin.

It kind of sounds like she’s writing a kindergarten reader for a violent militia group.

Despite the attacks and lawsuits by freaks in Alaska working for Obama’s hatchet men, Palin perseveres.

Palin’s gonna beat those hatchet-wielding freaks and come out on top, just like Olga Baclanova did!

Hampered by the ethics lawsuits, and attrition, she moved on to take on the enemy within, here, on the front lines.

Okay…But if you find yourself on the losing end of a war of attrition, is that really the best time to start purging your own ranks?

When Palin made her “farewell” speech last month, I wrote in The American Thinker that her speech was no farewell address at all, but a commencement address. “I will fight even harder for you, for what is right and for the truth,” she promised. “And I have never felt I needed a title to do that!”

I admit, the speech would have been funnier if she’d delivered it while wearing a mortarboard.

Her speech embodied what a great American sounds like, and what a president ought to sound like.

A quitter with a fondness for incoherent basketball analogies?

Palin made no apologies.

And no sense.

She said nothing like Obama’s inane drone of “America’s best days are behind us.”

Pam has super canine senses that allow her to hear the subliminal parts of Obama’s speeches.

No tearing down of our nation. Obama ranks on us; Palin raises us up and speaks of national pride.

“You have been raised up from Brutality, to kill the Brutals who multiply, and are legion. To this end, Palin your God gave you the gift of the Gun. The Gun is good!”

Oh wait.  Sorry.  That was Zardoz.

Palin is all content. Obama is all about playing the race card. The Obama mop up will be huge. The Republicans are going to need a “real” genuine article; that’s our girl Sarah, plain and tall.

I’m beginning to think Pam subcontracted this column to Pastor Swank.

Palin has wasted no time in taking on the big boys yet again, and winning.

Remember:  Winners never quit, and quitters never — well, okay, just this one time.

No slave to the leftist feudal media caste system, Palin circumvents the O-propagandists and disinformationalists.

Palin elides the funambulists and circumnavigates the ecdysiasts! She exsanguinates the mammothrepts and defenestrates the fintoozlers!

Palin, alone, with her Facebook page as her unfiltered messenger, calls out the rotting, decaying vultures in D.C. on their death panels — and they recoil to their nests and pull the death panels out of Obamacare legislation.

Wow.  I’ve never once called out zombie carrion birds on Facebook.  All I ever do is send Ivan drinks, and play Scrabble.

Palin, alone, on her unedited Facebook page, declares that there should be no healthcare reform without tort reform, and she gets Howard Dean to confess they won’t take on the lawyers. You can’t make this stuff up.

Actually, given how many drugs I’m on at the moment, I’m not entirely sure I haven’t made Pam up.

She’s a marvel and wonderful to watch. She is a lioness.

She is a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.

Many of us saw the divergent paths America would take with the 2008 election of a radical or the election of a patriot. America, in the well-intentioned interest of putting the first black man in the White House, never looked beyond color to content of character.

Oooh, snap!  How do you like that, MLK?

America fell for the smooth talking boulevardier, like an impressionable school girl. But once you’ve had one of those, you run the other way.

I just learned more about the sexual awakening of Pam’s tender girlhood than I ever cared to.

I suspect America will be running far and fast from the destroying Democrats into the arms of the pure and the good. When the pendulum swings, its swings hard and fast.

Sarah possesses all the qualities required of a great leader except a big dick, but Pam feels confident they can make up the difference with innuendo.

The more evil succeeds and overwhelms our foreign and domestic policy, our culture, our discourse and the very social fabric of our lives, the clearer it becomes that Palin is the antidote, the answer to fighting this morally bankrupt sewer in which we find ourselves during the Obama administration.

Happy first anniversary, Sarah. Looking forward to the next four, and especially to the eight after that.

And if Palin ultimately goes weak in the knees like McCain did, then Pam can always filch her face and run for President herself. It’s a win-win.

Illiterate Basterds

Posted by scott on August 28th, 2009

Last night I went with a friend to see Inglorious Basterds, and as a veteran of many a Tarantino film, it was pretty much exactly what I expected it to be.  Also predictable was the reaction of those right bloggers with an interest in reviving the aesthetics of Soviet Realism; Debbie Schlussel, for instance, hastened to declare it her Movie of the Year.  But if the sight of skulls being cracked like coconuts thrilled her (“it’s good against evil.  And it’s thoroughly satisfying.  I wish they showed even more…the treatment [the Germans] got in this movie is the same way we should treat all of our enemies, but simply don’t have the guts to do so”), at the same time it made her sad to think of all the heads that would go cinematically unbashed (“no-one in Hollywood has the guts to do an “Inglorious Basterds” with Americans fighting our current enemy:  Muslim invaders who’ve also replaced their friends, the Nazis, as the thugs upon Europe”).

What I didn’t anticipate was the way the film would inspire certain bloggers to fashion their own Louisville Sluggers out of dense, straight-grained stupidity, and start swinging wildly at the heads of their own readers.  Dr. Melissa Clothier, the Opinin’ Osteopath, took several particularly vicious cuts the instant I clicked this link from Roy’s place.

Inglourious Bastards might be Quentin Tarantino’s best movie so far. As expected, it’s full of gruesome violence, gratuitous splattering blood, and revenge fantasies.

To quote Crow T. Robot:  “Whatever tugs at your bobber, little buddy.”

Tarantino has some messages for everyone though and they aren’t politically correct…Here are some of the lessons from the movie:

This should do wonders for our national security posture.

1. Enhanced Interrogation works: The reason William Wallace from Braveheart fame was so remarkable was because he didn’t break.

He also didn’t win.

Nearly everyone, eventually breaks.

Unless they’re played by Mel Gibson.  Then they go gloriously to their death, blaming the Jews and calling Robert the Bruce “Sugar Tits.”

When one gets a bad guy to spill the beans, good guys get saved. It ain’t pretty. But sleep deprivation, psychological discomfort, and in Tarantino’s case, a public head bashing are very effective means of extracting information.

Yes, people who’ve been driven to a psychotic episode by sleep deprivation, then had their skull fractured by a baseball bat are frequently a font of useful information.  I’m pretty sure this is how Roger Ailes preps Glenn Beck before each show.

2. There are bad guys.

That is a fresh slant.

Now, in this politically correct world, only the Nazis may be used as bad guys. Don’t mention the barbary of Native Americans or current slave traders, or Hugo Chavez.

Okay, I admit it, I never knew that Native Americans were infested with Saracens.  No wonder they were so grouchy.

Hell, don’t mention the barbaric acts of actual barbarians–the Barbary pirates.

And don’t talk about their barbacans, barbeques, or Barbarian Brothers movies on VHS.

These days, the only acceptable bad guy is of German extraction.

And it’s led cinema into a creative cul-de-sac.  Aren’t we all just a little tired of watching Godzilla fight gigantic Nazi stormtroopers?

Actually…I’d probably go see that.

Anyone who is labeled “bad” is labeled Hitlerian.

For instance, Bryan Cranston’s character in Breaking Bad, and his plans to exterminate world Jewry by selling meth to Southwestern crackers.

For fun though, when you go see the movie, just put an Islamist in the place of the Nazi.

It’s almost as much fun as watching two girls go at it in a porn tape and putting yourself in the place of the pizza delivery boy.   But I have to wonder just how much attention you’re paying to the film’s profound and complex message if you’re devoting most of your brain’s computing power to digitally replacing the Germans with Arabs.  Oh well, I guess it doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re not doing it every time a Nazi shows up on screen.

Every time. Just imagine a freedom hating terrorist biting it hard. It’s profoundly satisfying.

I hope her seat had a chance to air dry before the next screening.

If Tarantino were really that edgy, he’d have chosen a more relevant bad guy, but in these times, naming evil is passé.

It’s tough when producers are too timid to properly service your fetish.  Snuff porn enthusiasts, for instance, have to make do with torture porn, and it’s weak tea indeed.

What made me love the movie most, though, didn’t occur on the screen. The packed theater that made my vengeance-loving heart glad.

NOTE TO DR. CLOTHIER’S PATIENTS:  Ask her if she’s just returned from a matinee of Inglorious Basterds before allowing her to violently twist your neck.

Primal? Uncivilized? It’s pretty to think so.

Thanks, Hemingway.

So, while I’m still waiting for Quentin Tarantino to show some real courage and portray the monstrosity that is Islamofascism–the psychotic Muslim element who carry around Mein Kempf for moral encouragement–I’ll take what I can get. And right now, a movie where the bad guys get incinerated is profoundly satisfying.

It’s nice to see the good guys win. It’s nice to see the bad guys suffer and die. I’m hoping that Inglourious Bastards starts a trend. Now, to choose a more timely enemy.

P.S. Brad Pitt is hot. And the way he says “Nazis” makes me smile. I’m saying it that way from now on. Nat-zees.

UPDATE TO PATIENTS:  If your chiropractor has suddenly started talking in a comically exaggerated Appalachian accent, consider rescheduling your appointment.

The moral equivalence crowd can shove their sanctimony up their collective ass. There are people right now who loved seeing Americans die in the World Trade Center. They relished it and still do. The Lockerbie bomber, Al Qaeda, the Taliban all glory in their death cult. No reasoning, no gentleness will change their black souls. Just as Nazis felt justified in their abject cruelty, so do the Islamofascists who carry out their modern mission of freedom killing violence.

The only solution? Kill the killers.

There is a reason America continues to fight this pesky foe.

Looking back on the carnage wrought by the Second World War, I believe we can best and most solemnly honor the memory of its victims by never forgetting the gosh darned peskiness of the Nazis.

It’s us or them. Let it be them.

Or let it be Lowenbrau.

By the way, to the liberals out there: Was World War II a revenge fantasy?

Crap, I meant to study for this!  Um, I’m gonna say…False?

Because technically, the European theater wasn’t “our” war. I mean Germans didn’t attack us.

They just declared war on us.

And that war cost a lot of money.

Oh now you’re worried about how spendy an invasion can get?

I do not regret that America took the war to the terrorist murderers. A sense of moral outrage should determine foreign policy.

Unless Jimmy Carter is in the White House.

Barack Obama’s bland indifference to the people of Iran is telling. Should we go to war there?

I think we should let outrage decide.  It’s got a level head.

That can be disputed. But what cannot be disputed is that Iran is a totalitarian, fascist regime that wants to exterminate a whole race of people. IT IS EVIL. To not be affronted by their disgusting philosophy and actions is to show indifference to innocent, freedom-loving people.

Let’s bomb the crap out of its freedom-loving people.

The left resisted efforts to get involved in WWII.

That’s why they supported the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War, and were later accused of “premature anti-fascism.”  Oh wait, sorry.  You want the America Firsters — they’re in the Henry Regnery Memorial Ballroom and Bund next door.

They didn’t want to see the atrocities of Japan, Germany and Italy, especially, because it didn’t fit their never ending selfish narrative.

It’s true.  Most leftists who saw Guernica in 1937 simply dismissed it as “that painting with the weird cow.”

Either freedom or tyranny is on the march. It is never static. And freedom must be bought or lost.

So freedom can be bought, lost, or marched on (but not in your socks, or you’ll get all staticky).  Choose wisely.

Dr. Melissa has apparently received some remedial tutoring in the chronology of World War II, and has issued an update which is actually stupider than anything you’ve read so far.  Feel free to click through and be dazzled, but I’ve got to go now and try to stuff my brain back in my skull.

Healthcare Is Just Another Word For Holocaust

Posted by scott on August 11th, 2009

sherzieve.jpgProfessional Paranoid Sher Zieve, has lately found herself out-crazied, by both the national brands of demagogue such as Sarah (“a death panel of dingoes ate my baby!”) Palin, and up-and-coming amateurs such as Kenneth (The Fainting Goat) Gladney.  But Sher isn’t about to let a few hand-drawn swastikas steal the limelight, not when she can come right out and say that health care reform will turn your doctor’s office into Auschwitz.

ObamaCare provides Americans healthcare in the same way that Hitler’s ovens provided the German people fresh bread.

Yes, nothing says lovin’ like something from the ovens of Hitler.  Now I suppose I get what Sher is saying here — “health care reform will reform health care.  NOT!” — but her remarkably overblown, yet trivializing analogy raises another question.  Wingnuts denounced any inquiry into possible Bush Administration war crimes as “criminalizing policy differences,” yet they feel entitled to equate actual policy differences with crimes against humanity.  So I suppose my question is — WTF?

And where are those who after World War II screamed and shouted “Never again!”?

Well, a lot of them are in Israel, enjoying universal health care.

Where are the people who lost entire families to Hitler’s Holocaust?

This is just a guess, but I imagine at least are few are currently being irked by your suggestion that an additional health insurance option is the same as being gassed, or worked to death as a slave laborer.

Can you not see the inevitable correlations of plan and purpose between then and now? If you cannot, then please actually LOOK at what is occurring.

Oh, it’s like one of those Magic Eye posters?  Okay.  Well, when I stand real close, then step back a few feet, I see a contemptible woman with no sense of decency.  And a unicorn.

Question: It’s un-American to protest our impending slavery, imprisonment and/or euthanasia under ObamaCare and other ObamaPlans?

Answer:  Bizarre conspiracy theories are as American as the roller derby, although this one gets taken out of the basement and aired in polite society a lot more often than etiquette would advise.  By the way, Sher, have you heard that the USDA is planning to force us all to work in their massive secret grandparent slaughterhouses, rendering our elderly relatives into mulch and hog feed?  It’s true.  They plan to track us down through our grocery store club cards, so if I were you I’d go off the grid and start paying retail before it’s too late!

Is the new definition of American now “supporting the Dictator Obama and his favored ones in everything they do and say — no matter how detrimental it is to human life and all things surrounding human life?”

Yes, it is, but it’s just a first draft, and I’m hoping we can tighten it up and make it a little snappier.  Maybe add some comic relief.

Lambchop Silently Savages The Weiner

Posted by scott on August 7th, 2009

elliswashington.jpgYou may remember Ellis Washington, the part-time instructor at Savannah State University who styles himself a “professor of law and political science,” in much the same way I inform bouncers and maitre’ds that I’m a NASCAR champion and the crown prince of Liechtenstein.

Around these parts Ellis is probably best known for getting the point of Orwell’s 1984 completely backwards, but the professor is large, he contains multitudes, and he also thoroughly misunderstood the 1991 film, The Silence of the Lambs:

In an earlier article titled, “The Savage Silence of the Lambs,” I compared the Machiavellian and unjust blacklisting of Savage by our strongest ally, England, to the movie “Silence of the Lambs.” Here is Part 2 of that offering. As a reference, I quote in part from my original article of May 20:

In the 1991 movie “Silence of the Lambs,” …Lecter (Anthony Hopkins), a brilliant but evil psychiatrist, begins a game of quid pro quo with Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster), a young FBI trainee…In one telling scene, Starling tells of how she was orphaned, relocated to an uncle’s farm, discovered the horror of the lambs going to the slaughterhouse and unsuccessfully tried to save one of the little lambs.  That horrific, indelible scene that haunted her all those years was the lambs’ seeming indifference and silence in the face of utter slaughter.

Yep.  Except the point of that “indelible scene” was that Agent Starling was haunted by the screaming of the lambs, and hoped that by helping a kidnapped young woman escape death at the hands of a serial killer, she could finally silence their screams:

Hannibal Lecter: Then something woke you, didn’t it? Was it a dream? What was it? [...]
Clarice Starling: It was… screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child’s voice. [...] Lambs. The lambs were screaming.
Hannibal Lecter: They were slaughtering the spring lambs?
Clarice Starling: And they were screaming.
Hannibal Lecter: You still wake up sometimes, don’t you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs.
Clarice Starling: Yes.
Hannibal Lecter: And you think if you save poor Catherine, you could make them stop, don’t you? You think if Catherine lives, you won’t wake up in the dark ever again to that awful screaming of the lambs.

Hannibal Lecter: Well, Clarice – have the lambs stopped screaming?

You may also recall that the professor believes his man-crush, Michael “Savage” Weiner, is the modern day incarnation of Prometheus, and has been unfairly abused by both Zeus and the British Home Secretary.

Do you hear that sound, America? It is the tormenting sound of crickets chirping. It is the sound of Prometheus groaning in utter agony as his liver is daily eaten by a giant eagle commanded by Zeus. … It is the sound of the Savage silence of the lambs.

So a man having his vital organs devoured by a raptor makes the same sound as crickets chirping, which make the same sound as lambs making no sound at all?

Okey dokey.

Why, after two weeks since the release of a major profile of Michael Savage by the venerable liberal magazine The New Yorker, has not one TV network, not one major newspaper, not one conservative, libertarian or independent think tank, not one liberal or conservative talk show host invited Michael on their show to interview him regarding this unique and monumental achievement?

It is the Savage silence of the lambs.

Michael Savage’s career is being systematically destroyed by a conspiracy of ungulate mimes!

New Yorker magazine writer Kelefa Sanneh did an excellent job in profiling my friend and intellectual mentor, Michael Savage, not because he was complimentary or unduly fawning of his subject, but because he was fair, honest and introspective in his psychological treatment of this authentic American conservative intellectual. Kelefa effectively moved himself out of the way and allowed the reader to use his own intelligence to understand Dr. Michael Savage, the man.

By this point in the column, Professor Washington was so far up Dr. Savage’s sigmoid colon that he ran into Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher coming the other way, pursued by Injun Joe.

I would like to echo the comments by Jeff Kuhner who frequently hosts “The Savage Nation” in Michael’s absence, particularly his revelatory monologue on Aug. 5. Jeff eloquently voiced the passions and frustrations of Michael and “The Savage Nation” audience, pointing out that normally when someone is profiled in the revered New Yorker magazine, they are granted instant celebrity status and given entree to all of the major network news, cable, newspapers and radio media.

Yeah!  And when a caricaturist depicts you and your wife as terrorists on the cover, you get to be president!  That’s the law!

In other words, everyone knows that a profile in the New Yorker is usually a career maker, not a career breaker. However, with the conservative nationalist Michael Savage, all one has heard over the past two weeks since the publication of his New Yorker magazine profile was the deafening Savage silence of the lambs.

To be fair, though, most ruminants read Kerrang! and Good Housekeeping.

In conclusion, compare the Michael Savage affair to Josef Stalin’s redacting of history.

Um.  Okay…

Look at the pictures above: If Stalin’s own personal assassin and chief of his notorious secret police, the NKVD, wasn’t safe from Stalin’s “purges,” what makes the GOP, the RNC, conservative radio hosts, National Review, the Weekly Standard, Fox News and the rest of the state-controlled media think they will be safe from President Obama’s fascist and censorship tactics? Surely these people and organizations must know they will be next.

So it’s Stalin’s fault that people don’t care Michael Savage was mentioned in The New Yorker?

What, therefore, is the response from all the champions defending freedom of speech and freedom of expression regarding the case of Michael Savage, this modern-day Alfred Dreyfus affair?

Right, right, I forgot.  Savage is a man of many metaphors: Prometheus, a soft-spoken sheep, and Alfred Dreyfus.

… All I can hear is the hypocritical, unconsoling Savage silence of the lambs!

Oh, sorry, Prof, I couldn’t hear the silent lambs.  I had John Cage’s 4′33″ turned way up.

On a Wingnut and a Prayer

Posted by scott on July 14th, 2009

There’s been quite a bit of turnover at conservative journal of opinion RenewAmerica recently.  Savvy observers of online media suspect that Alan Keyes’ flagship site is taking a tip from the prefabricated boy bands of the 80s and 90s, and dismissing staffers who age beyond the ideal demographic (RA’s slogan: “Never Trust Anyone Over 73″).  The superannuated cranks are being replaced with younger, hipper, more attractive cranks, and if all goes according to plan, tomorrow’s RenewAmerica will be as popular and relevant as today’s Menudo.

Which brings us to New Face of ’09, Nanette Malher.

nanette.jpg

Nanette’s biography isn’t as tender and confessional as Fred Hutchinson’s; but we do learn that she’s a private pilot and “the owner of Aviatrix Enterprises, a multimedia company in Nashville, TN, specializing in web, print, film, and music services.”  The company also specializes in ugly website design and glamour shots of the proprietor.  But perhaps the most interesting thing about Nanette is her vision of God as a cosmic 12-year old boy, and humanity as bunch of green plastic Army Men.

Pacifism kills more swiftly than bullets.

Which is why our soldiers and Marines are issued pacifism-proof vests.  However, some of the wilier, more insidious pacifists — your Quakers, say, or your Jainists — have learned to coat their non-violence with Teflon, making it even deadlier.

I have little respect for pacifists, who call themselves such, and then come out swinging with angry creeds that cut like knives.

I once espoused a creed that could cut a tomato so thin you could see through it, but it was confiscated by airport security.

I find it very interesting that pacifists can make hateful, radical arguments with a black-vs-white, cemented conviction and then sit back and pretend they’ve done nothing destructive.

“My mother was killed by pacifists!  Slowly I turned…!”

We live in the world where America is the last bastion of freedom. We need to fight the evil that wishes to destroy our nation of light and hope.

The European Union is like a gigantic gulag, except with good health care and hash cafés.

Today, I’m imagining what will happen if Americans do not wake up and understand that the latest enemy of God and American freedom lives in the White House.

Oh good, Obama Bingo!  Let me get my cards…

Our new and inexperienced president is ripe with hatred under his calm demeanor. He despises the very American principles for which our men and women have died.

I’ve got “his outward calm is a mask for anti-American rage,” so I’m gonna put a token on that…Let’s see, next…? Marxist?  Pinocchio?

He is Marxist and a puppet who is taking cues from known and unknown directors of evil.

Yes!  (I’m gonna need more tokens!)  Okay…Messiah?  Emperor’s New Clothes?  State-owned press?  Foreign-born sleeper agent of the transnational Caliphate who’s building a secret army to subvert the Constitution…?

He’s not the first emperor with no clothing in America, but he is, by far, the one we should fear the most, because for some unworldly reason, his lies are believed to be divine truths. The press will not question him; too many Americans will not oppose him, even if they do so in their own minds. Americans have become pacifists as they ignore the cold, hard facts concerning the swift actions now being taken by the current administration and all the appointed czars therein to undo what true defenders of the Republic hold dear: The Constitution of the United States.

Hold your cards, we have a Bingo!

Too many Americans are under the same evil spell, and we must stand up to them. They believe in concepts that are objectively false, completely opposite to our founding principles, and serve selfish purposes:

Oh good, another trademark RenewAmerica List o’ Shame…

  • The Muslim, who cannot live in a world with those who do not believe in his god.

I wondered why they all committed suicide the other day…

  • The right-wing, white supremacist, who does not want to live in a world with those who are not of his color.

Yeah.  Big Obama fans, those guys…

  • The thief, the rapist, the murderer.

The Baker.  The Candlestick Maker.  The Thief, the Cook, his Wife, and her Lover…

  • The pacifist, who will say and do nothing.

Which actually seems like kind of an attractive quality at the moment.

Shall we love the enemy while we watch him destroy us? Or shall we love the enemy, God and humanity enough to stop him (or her)? By denouncing pacifism, we are trying to save millions from a fate that is worse than death: Life without freedom.

Is there anyone in particular you want to bomb, Nan, or are you just spitballing here?

The enemy is out in the open and the enemy is hidden. He is ready to implement a “New World Order” and we are letting it happen. Whatever his face, he has broken into our home — America. A new holocaust is about to begin, and so many know it and feel it.

You know how when you get fixed up with a friend of a friend, and she’s very pretty and the date seems to be going really well, and then somewhere between the salad and the entree she starts sounding crazier and crazier, until by the time dessert comes you’re fairly certain she’s going to end the evening by inviting you up for a three-way with her imaginary friend, except her imaginary friend is a dude, and she just wants to watch?

The grand director of evil…

Wow, somebody got a promotion.  I remember when Satan was just a Regional Manager.

…wishes to confuse the difference between what is right and what is wrong — causing strife, even among believers, and ultimately causing the destruction of all Americans’ God-given right to be free.

So we need to bomb ourselves, is that it?  I just wanna know who to bomb!

My dear pacifist: When someone breaks into your home and threatens to kill your family, and you have a choice between doing nothing or doing something that might save your children, I pray that you will do something. I shudder to think what our world would be like today if God had done nothing to save His children from evil. He sent His own Son to die for us. Americans send their own children into battle to save humanity from the tyrants of the world.

On the downside, the children of Americans killed in battle don’t come back to life and crawl out of their tombs three days later.

Some would argue that Jesus himself was a pacifist — He did not strike his enemy as his enemy struck him down. On the contrary!

Jesus was a blade man, man!  He carried a 12-inch creed in his boot!

If you believe that God came to earth to live as a man, died for us, and rose from the dead to show us exactly WHO He IS and how much he loves us, then he was NEVER struck down!

The whole thing was done with mirrors and trick lighting.

He dealt the enemy the greatest and most destructive blow in the history of the universe! The enemy is dead already. He just doesn’t know it.

We should send him a text and let him know he’s dead, before he buys some non-refundable airline tickets or something.

He still thinks he can win. For those who would argue that God wants us to be pacifists, I argue that God wants us to stand for Him in the Great Battle that is to come, just as he stood for us . . . unto death.

Except he faked his own death for the insurance!

Jesus was the ultimate soldier

universal-soldier.jpg

Jesus, on the left, in undated file photo.

When I meet my Maker, I do not wish to have blank pages after my name in the Book of Life. I want it to be filled with the actions I took on behalf of the Name above all Names, even if those actions were condemned by the pacifists and non-believers of my day.

So you’d like to have a hefty body count.  Okey-doke, whatever you say, General Westmoreland.

God died for us, so my conviction, and my hope, is that while I am fervently praying for the salvation of the world and my country, I will have the strength to fight evil, even in the face of death, for the sake of the One and Only God and the freedom He gave us and wants us to enjoy!

I give it a week, tops, before she starts buzzing the Hickory Hollows Mall in her Cessna Skylane, and bombing the shit out of the shoppers with M-80s.

Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For Luthor

Posted by scott on June 26th, 2009

Over at World Net Daily, Joseph Farah’s Mustache Sense is tingling.

farah07.jpg  The intentional destruction of America

It’s time for Americans to consider a very scary possibility – that the president of the United States and the Congress are actually embarked on an intentional plan to destroy most everything that throughout history made the country great and unique.

To stop them, we’ll need a Space-Time Paradox Generator, 200 feet of copper wire, a wise-cracking android, and a picture of Eve Arden!

Could it be that the sweeping, wholesale policy changes we have seen implemented and begun in the last six months are not just “mistakes” or the results of miscalculations?

Could it be that these wholesale policy changes are, in fact, the results of electing a candidate who promised to change our previous policies?

Could it be that the clear intent is to bring America down – and that those controlling America’s political future know exactly what they are doing?

I hope not.  I’ve gotten used to the idea of Administrations bringing America down accidentally, while cleaning their shotgun, say, or driving on the sidewalk after one too many Pisco sours.

BushpissedonPisco.jpg

Could it be that those holding the levers of power in Washington are not just ill-equipped for their jobs and making bad choices, but that they are determined to destroy America’s economy and culture because they don’t like it, never liked it and wish to see our nation operate more like the rest of the world?

It seems like the staffs of WND, RenewAmerica, American Thinker, American Renaissance, The American Vision, American Power and other like-minded asylums woke up on November 5th and decided that instead of enduring a black man in the White House, they’d go rather live in a comic book universe where Lex Luthor is the President.  After all, losing to Luthor, that doesn’t make you a loser, because he’s a supervillain.  What’re you supposed to do against an evil genius who has usurped the power of the United States government?  Just blog like the dickens, I guess.  On the bright side, once you do defeat Super-Villain President, you have lots of good options for relocating the Gitmo detainees — the prison planet of Ysmault, the Anti-Matter Universe of Qward, or the Phantom Zone.

Personally, I’m there. I’ve been there.

You’re out there.  You’re way out there.

There is not a doubt in my mind that people like Barack Obama, Barney Frank, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the like just plain think differently than, say, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and James Madison – not to mention me.

No doubt.  For instance, Obama, Frank, Pelosi and Reid probably think that the former presidents shouldn’t have the legal right to buy and sell the current president.  Or rent him out to other countries to stud.

The contrast in worldviews couldn’t be any more striking.

So it’s you and the Enlightenment thinkers against the Obama Administration, eh?  Okay, I’ll take your word for it that you’re on the Founders team, but I bet you got picked last.

The Constitution and the Declaration of Independence are being actively and openly dismantled as the guiding principles of American government.

It’s true.  I walked by the Constitution the other day, and it was covered with scaffolding, and a bunch hardhats whistled and asked me to lift up my tank top.

The rule of law? We’re told today by Obama and company that the Constitution doesn’t mean what it says. It’s a “living document” that needs to be constantly reinterpreted in different times. That’s not the rule of law. That’s the rule of men – or, more precisely, the rule of high priests in black robes who are not accountable to either the will of the people or the rule of law.

“…and as always, our annual Satanic Mass will be the first Monday in October.”

Are your shackles being removed by Obama and company?

No, but my underwear seems to be missing…

Obama’s TREASON. (The Extra Caps Are For Extra TREASON!)

Posted by scott on June 19th, 2009

sherzieve.jpg I’m finding it difficult to concentrate today, thanks to a nasty headache, and don’t feel quite up to swallowing the prescription-strength crazy.  So I’ve decided to take a couple of buffered wingnuts and just sit here in the dark until the throbbing subsides.  First up, our old friend Shermp, the Wistfulest Stooge™, sits down with a cashiered Navy man who recently charged Obama with treason.  Or maybe she just read his criminal complaint and imagined they were having a conversation, because the whole transcript consists largely of dueling blockquotes from “patriot” email alerts, so she either interviewed him via spam, or we surprised Sher as she was cheating on a Turing test.

Can the US Constitution survive dictator Obama?

In light of the now almost daily bombardment of the US Constitution by the sitting US Commander in Chief, the question ‘is our Constitution still the law of the land?’ is increasingly being asked by We-the-People.

Other questions being asked by We-the-People are:

“Are those real?”

“What part of the mind blocks happy relationships?” (page 409)

“What’s with all the fucking hyphens?”

and

“Mr. O’Reilly, when you inflate the bladder in your dewlap, is that designed to intimidate predators, or is it just a courting ritual?”

The problem of Barack Hussein Obama seeming not to be a natural-born citizen is still an extremely salient issue…Recently, retired Navy Commander Walter Francis Fitzpatrick III filed a criminal complaint of Treason against Barack Hussein Obama. This has prompted other individuals around the country to do the same. As our Republic now stands on the brink of complete collapse, I thought an interview of Commander Fitzpatrick was in order.

It’ll help pass the time until the roaming bands of cannibals arrive.

The Interview

Sher: Walt, you’ve caused quite a stir with your criminal complaint of treason against Barack Obama — the person I call the usurper to the US presidency and the US’ dictator in chief. Suffice it to say, our representative republic is now in jeopardy as it has never before experienced. What you have done is an extraordinarily gutsy move. With even our lawmakers seeming to cower in fear of going against him, how did you garner the courage to fight against Obama’s expanding tyranny?

Walt: “Obedient to the Constitution — my sworn duty, Mr. Obama, is to stand against what you stand for. You are not my president. You are not my commander in chief.” (Quoted from the federal criminal complaint naming Mr. Obama in the crime of TREASON).

Wolfram Alpha is a more scintillating conversationalist.

General Robert E. Lee put it this way: “Duty is the most sublime word in our language. Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less.”

Ah yes, the wisdom of Robert E. Lee on…duty.

Walt: Mr. Obama is named in the commission of the crime of TREASON by a commissioned officer in the U.S. military. TREASON is the only criminal act our Constitution records.

Say, what did General Robert E. Lee have to say about TREASON?  I’m sure it was pithy.

Mr. Obama is described in the criminal complaint as a ‘foreign born domestic enemy and a traitor.’ This simple declarative sentence is intended to state clearly Mr. Obama meets elements of the crime of TREASON by being an enemy of the United States and our constitutional form of government. It states also Mr. Obama adheres to other U.S. enemies and gives them aid and comfort (Obama’s criminal assistants).

You might even call them Obama’s criminal confederates.

It’s been two months. Mr. Obama admits his TREASON.

Really?  I must’ve missed that in the paper — I guess I really ought to at least glance at the front page after I finish reading “Cathy.”

I opine one tactic is to quash complaints quietly and without further notice by disqualifying people attempting to remove Mr. Obama from office by force of law. What more do you need to see or hear?

Not a thing.  Your delusion’s good enough for me, Commander.

Our Constitution no longer works. Our government, however contemporaneously described, has turned against its people.

And the turtle called Gamera is approaching the city!

Sher: You stated in your criminal complaint against Obama:… I accuse you and your military-political criminal assistants of TREASON.”

What a coincidence.  I Accuse My Parents…of TREASON!

As a retired US Navy officer, how much support do you believe the US Military will give to Obama’s despotic syndicate and, subsequently, operate against the American people?

Walt: I don’t know what I don’t know. “How much support,” the strength of military support is impossible to measure. The first sentence of the federal criminal complaint for TREASON reads as follows: “I have observed and extensively recorded treacherous attacks by military-political aristocrats against the United States Constitution for twenty years.” The alert and warning that senior military commanders — described as “command racketeers” — have been no more obedient to the Constitution since the end of the Civil War than Mr. Obama has been during his lifetime.

And anyone familiar with the history of organized crime remembers who won the long, bloody struggle between the Five Crime Families — the Bonnanos, the Gambinos, the Colombos, the Genoveses, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Mr. Obama criminal ascension to the White House has afforded modern day command racketeers an opportunity to more completely and effectively efface the Constitution than ever in any of their lifetimes. Mr. Obama’s goals and the goals of the command criminals are identical.

Contrarily, there are those Veterans (active duty and retired) who refuse to perjure or forsake their oaths to the Constitution and see their duty clearly (duty…there’s that word again).

Oh great.  Commander McBragg thinks he’s in Starship Troopers!

Sher: When we talked, you also indicated that those who knew and know that Obama was not born in the USA are also culpable and can be charged with treason and/or conspiring to treason — correct? Speaking of which, didn’t Fox News Channel’s Uber-leftist Shepard Smith recently stated on-air…”There are these crazies out there who want to pretend Obama’s not a citizen of the United States”…If Smith has proof that Obama is a natural-born citizen, isn’t he legally obligated to provide it?

Walt: FOX News Channel Correspondent Shepard Smith has named himself a witness in the Obama TREASON trial. Correspondent Smith is advised to exercise his constitutional protections against self-incrimination inasmuch as Mr. Smith won’t be going to Washington. Instead Mr. Smith goes to prison for his complicity in Obama’s TREASON rendering Smith as criminally accountable.

Shepard Smith.  History’s greatest monster.

A legitimate president and commander in chief is the leader of the Western world. As commander in chief he is the CEO of America’s largest employer (the U.S. military and its infrastructure), the world’s largest law firm (the JAG Corps), and the most powerful and fierce military force history has ever known.

And for all of that I’m supposed to take the word of Shep Smith that Obama legitimately holds office?  In an earlier question you asked me who are the power brokers behind Obama. I answered in general. Here, allow me to be more focused and specific.  Shepard Smith is one of those responsible, one of those behind the curtain pulling the levers, one of the outlaw assistants in Obama’s criminal adventures.

There exists an opportunity in the Obama TREASON trial to use Shepard Smith as the vehicle that exposes major media as a leading actor in crimes against the Constitution.

Laconically: Mr. Smith committed TREASON by saying what he did.

Well, at least his treachery was concise.  If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s loquacious TREASON.

Sher: Barack Obama is taking over the country and turning it into his own totalitarian empire with almost lightning speed. Whom do you believe is the real power, if any, behind and supporting him?

Walt: I don’t know what I don’t know.

I smell a catchy slogan!  Get CafePress on the line!

I can speculate as well as you, but at the end of the day all we have are our opinions which may be different and which may be competing. But, this question gets to the heart of the reason why the federal criminal complaint for TREASON was advanced: We need to find out…and we can with the speed of heat!

Oh swell — now he’s coming on to her.

The handling of Mr. Obama’s TREASON works to reconcile the question regarding whether the Constitution remains the Law of the Land or not. Mr. Obama’s TREASON trial also works to stop the attack against the Constitution, neutralize it, and then work to the Constitution’s restoration. Along the way we get behind the curtain to see who’s pulling the levers!

Because, you know, he’s a negro, and doesn’t know how to operate the drapes.

Allow me to add that the Constitution’s Impeachment process does not reach to protect Mr. Obama. Mr. Obama is not legitimately holding office. The TREASON trial stands Obama in the dock like any other person (citizen, legal or illegal alien). Mr. Obama is now caught in the crime of TREASON and is rendered nothing more than a commoner; a smug street thug punk criminal.

I’m going to arrange a play date between Commander McBragg and Pastor Swank.

Sher: There seems to be a growing malaise amongst many US citizens that they can do nothing about Obama’s destruction of the US Constitution — via his ignoring it — and his reconstruction of our republic into his personal fiefdom except complain. With your own filing of the criminal treason complaint…

Ahem.  I think you mean TREASON, Sher.

…How do you suggest each individual proceed toward filing their own treason complaint against him?

“Well, I’m glad you asked.  I’m having a TREASON complaint filing seminar this Sunday at the Barstow Ramada…”

Walt: I do not agree there’s a “malaise.” By the way, I hate the word malaise ever since Jimmy Carter uttered it eons ago. Malaise is not what made America great!

Creamy sandwich spread is!  We call it…Malaisonnaise!

It just isn’t a thread in the American fabric. What I see instead is growing frustration, bewilderment, and anger that is the sure product of betrayal. Betrayed by Obama, by the politicians, by the military aristocrats

Any second now, and he’s going to start knitting the names of his enemies into a sweater like Madame Defarge.

Given a way to fight back, in the rebirth of the Constitution, We The People are forming Grand Juries like a slowly heating pop-corn machine. Indictments and presentments are already handed down. Advance of the extant federal criminal complaint for TREASON has become frenetic.

Seriously, dude.  Get on Pastor Swank’s good side now, before he sues your ass for theft of anti-intellectual property.

Well, my head’s really splitting now, but I think I need a palate cleanser, a little sorbet of stupid before I crawl off to bed.  I wonder what Jonah’s up to…
JonahGoldbergInvisibleSpork.jpg

Jonah Goldberg:  Et Tu, Big Business?

When liberals hear conservatives decry the death of capitalism, they titter and roll their eyes. “Oh, you paranoid right-wingers! You see Bolsheviks around every corner.”

But such exasperation is the exhalation of concentrated ignorance.

You know, Jonah, giving fancy names to your flatulence doesn’t make people any less inclined to move away from you on the subway.

FarahLipDye.jpg

Sadly, it seems that being “founder, editor and CEO of WND and a nationally syndicated columnist with Creators Syndicate,” isn’t enough for Joseph Farah anymore.  Something’s missing from his life.  Relevance?  Excitement?  That old tomcat sway in the hips?  Who can say.  But it’s clear that the prospect of writing his syndicated column, then enjoying a complete breakfast, before retiring to the scullery to boot black his mustache is no longer enough to get him out of bed in the morning; which may explain why he’s still clinging to the Obama birth certificate issue.  What, after all, is Ahab without the white whale?  Just a grumpy fishermen with a lot of spare shoes.

Speaking of harpooning a dead cetacean, the last time I checked World Net Daily, the first thirteen articles on the front page were all related to Farah’s hobbyhorse, including an exclusive by Joseph himself explaining Why Obama wants to hide birth certificate

Since I began my quixotic campaign to uncover Barack Obama’s birth certificate, many have asked me about the president’s possible motives for hiding it with such tenacity and diligence.  I think there are many plausible motives:

  • Perhaps something in that birth certificate, if it indeed exists, would contradict assertions Obama has made about his life’s story. These might even involve his true parental heritage. Without a real birth certificate, no one really knows who his parents were. So it is ridiculous even to speculate about whether citizenship could be conferred upon him by his mother, when we don’t know for sure who his mother is.

So just to recap, Farah demands to see Obama’s birth certificate, and when the document in question is supplied, he haughtily declares that it does not exist!  Which is kind of a psychotic, but entertaining twist on the Hans Christian Anderson original, with the peasants all standing around in the nude while a child cries out, “the Emperor is overdressed for the occasion!”

Anyway, Joseph would merely like to point out that Stanley Ann Dunham may have only pretended to give birth to Barack Obama, when in reality his  mother was an entirely different white woman from Kansas, whose progeny Stanley Ann swiped, Gypsy-like, because she wanted to give her parents the mulatto grandson they’d always wanted.

Perhaps it reveals a foreign birth, as Hawaii allowed for in 1961 while still issuing the “certification of live birth” we have seen posted on his website. Or perhaps it will show just what Obama has claimed all along – a birth in Hawaii to two officially non-citizen parents, for the purpose of establishing “natural born citizenship” under the Constitution.

Or because that’s where his mother lived, when to school, and where she met and married his father.

What do I mean by that last possibility?

That the depth of your douchebaggery is exceeded only by the breadth of your porn ‘stache?

Well, as you know, in 2008, the Senate of the United States held hearings to determine if one of the presidential candidates fulfilled the requirement of being a “natural born citizen.” It wasn’t Barack Obama. It was John McCain, who was born on a U.S. military base overseas to two U.S. citizens.

On April 10 of last year, two senators, both Democrats, Patrick Leahy of Vermont and Claire McCaskill of Missouri, introduced a resolution into upper house expressing a sense of the Senate that McCain was indeed a “natural born citizen.”

It’s interesting what Leahy had to say on the subject: “Because he was born to American citizens (emphasis added), there is no doubt in my mind that Senator McCain is a natural born citizen. I expect that this will be a unanimous resolution of the U.S. Senate.”

And, indeed it was. It was also, interestingly, the only such hearing held by the Congress on the subject of “natural born citizenship” and its application to the 2008 presidential race. Why was that interesting? Because everyone involved in this process knew – or should have known – that the life story told by Barack Obama would raise far more doubts about his eligibility than McCain’s.

And yet, strangely, it’s only the desperate, donation-cadging proprietor of an online supermarket tabloid who seems to care.  Clearly, we need a new Senate.

Notice Leahy did not say one parent citizen would qualify a child for “natural born citizenship.” He indicted it would take two to tango.

Is that what he indicted?  Well, no, I don’t believe use of the plural constitutes an actual indictment, and anyway, I think it’s still a little early to get the Grand Jury involved, don’t you?

By the way, Obama voted for this resolution, so he obviously agrees with the definition of what constitutes a “natural born citizen” – the offspring of two U.S. citizens.

Or the offspring of one U.S. citizen.  Or the offspring of two foreign nationals born in the United States, since I’m pretty sure the 14th Amendment (“all persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States”) still trumps a non-binding Sense of the Senate resolution.

Now, I don’t know who Barack Obama’s parents are, because I have never seen his birth certificate. All I’ve seen is a facsimile of a “certification of live birth” on the Internet. That document, even if genuine, proves nothing about Obama’s birth in Hawaii or who his parents were. Hawaii had a very slipshod practice in 1961 of issuing these documents to babies born outside the country and listing parents who may not have been the parents at all.

“Western standards of systematized record-keeping are beyond those cannibals!”

But I do know who Barack Obama claims his parents were. According to him, neither one of them was an American citizen able to confer natural born citizenship on a child. One, Barack Obama Sr., was a foreign national from Kenya, and the other, Stanley Ann Dunham, was too young to have qualified under the law for bestowing that privilege on her son, even if the father had been a citizen and even in the unlikely event Obama was actually born in Hawaii!

Um, FAIL, as I believe the kids say, Joe.  Even if you’re unacquainted with the Constitution, I’m sure that as a right wing trope conduit, you’re familiar with the term “anchor baby.”  If not, I’d suggest you ask Michelle Malkin.

So, if we are to take Obama at his word, he is not a natural born citizen and not eligible to serve as president.

But then, everything he says is a lie, so we’re kind of back to square one.

If he is to be judged by the same standard as his opponent in the race, there is no way he qualifies. That’s what Leahy said. That’s what Chertoff said. That’s what the law says.

Says you.

But let me remind you all, in case you hadn’t considered this: Obama plans to run for re-election in 2012. And that’s why we can never, ever let this matter rest.

And it’s due to just that kind of perseverance — specifically, his refusal to let the matter of Free Silver ever rest — that William Jennings Bryan is remembered as one of our greatest Presidents.