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swanker.jpg

Pastor Swank is back with an unintelligable title, and a startling scoop:

Why did B. Hussein Obama dodge the topic of extremist Muslim presence? Because he is a mask Muslim.

It’s true.  I saw him wrestle Blue Demon and Mil Mascaras at the Olympic Auditorium.

He and Michelle sat through twenty years of pro-Islam indoctrination from Muslim cohort Jeremiah Wright.

They heard sermon after sermon preached against Jews and whites. Sermonic delivery was all pro-Allah devotees.

I believe the technical term for this is glossolalia.

Further, B. Hussein hires Muslims on his Congressional and campaign staffs.

Hiring illegal aliens from Guatemala is good enough for geniune Americans like John McCain, but Mr. B. Hussein Arugula thinks he has to add a little cumin to the melting pot.

Moreover, B.. Hussein communicates closely with his cousin in Kenya, the latter having run for that country’s presidency. While in New Hampshire campaigning, B. Hussein phoned his cousin to encourage him onto political victory.

Which is a clear violation of the Neutrality Act of 1794, especially if he had money on the race.

It is this cousin who informed the Kenyans that if elected he would establish the dreaded sharia — the so-called justice and legal system that straps youths to poles in public squares and buries those accused of adultery, burying them up to their necks so that their heads can be bashed in.

Sounds brutal.  Nice of him to give the voters a heads-up, though.

B. Hussein says he can communicate directly with Islamic leaders worldwide, including the thug president of Iran. No wonder. They are all of the same club.

Obama signed up with T-Mobile just so he could add Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to his Fave Five.

B. Hussein feigns being “Christian.” He says he prays daily to Jesus. Note: That Jesus is the Islamic prophet Jesus and not the incarnate deity Jesus as recorded in the Bible.

They’re always getting each other’s mail, it’s a huge pain.  But the way you can tell the difference is, only one of them is on the government No Fly list.

B. Hussein has stated that in reading the Koran he is affected by it as reading melodic poetry. The Koran is a bloodletting publication directed as slaughtering all non-Muslims worldwide.

And it doesn’t even rhyme!

If B. Hussein gets onto Pennsylvania Avenue, Muslims will rise up to declare discriminations at right and left. They already espouse contacting the government if discriminated against, such data written on their web sites.

Muslim webmasters state they are for democracy. However, that is a lie. They are for a democracy that serves Islam alone. All other definitions must be erased.

I can’t believe we’re still focused on “terrorists” and “Islamofascists” when the real clear and present danger comes from masked Muslims who operate in the shadows and have the power to delete our comments.

B. Hussein promises America that if elected to the White House he will mesh all religions into one, slicing through the Judeo-Christian heritage of this nation.

Instead of the traditional Communion wafer, priests will be forced to distribute consecrated Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups.

B. Hussein knows there are sleeper cells for Allah throughout North America. He dares not state one word against them for they are going to set loose once January comes around.

That is why it was prudent for Sarah Palin to underline in her speech the absence of any references from B. Hussein regarding extremist Islam. She knows all of the above and is aware of B. Hussein’s alliances to undermine this Republic.

She also knows how hard it would be to shoot a moose in a burqa.

28 Responses to “None Dare Call It Aphasia”

Then again, the beasts aren’t that agile to begin with, and a properly-sized burqa would probably be an additional encumbrance for the moose.

I wonder how he could possibly know who Obama comunicates with on a frequent…
Oh, fuck it. If I start asking logical questions about a column by the Swanksta, I’ll be taking it more seriously than a sane person should.

Muslim B. Hussein gagged jihad in any speech.

Um…what the dickslap?

They heard sermon after sermon preached against Jews and whites.

So if Sarah Palin listened to someone preaching against Jews–does that make her a Muslim?

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/09/anti-jewish-ter.html

Wow, did Tim Leary really die or did he just go on one big bad acid trip and turn into a wingnut?

I like Swanker’s thinking: “Why did B. Hussein Obama dodge the topic of extremist Muslim presence? Because he is a mask Muslim.”

Isn’t that similar to waterboarding interrogation?

Why Scott, did NOT post something about Pat Robertson today? Of course, because you are a SECRET supporter of Pat Robertson!

Why did Pastor Swank not repudiate devil worship, monocles and acid in his last post? Because he’s a devil worshipping, acid dropping one-eyed atheist that’s why!

The logic is astounding!

But, the condensed translation from wingnutsian to ordinary verbiage reads like this:

BLACK MAN! BLACK MAN

Obviously English is not the Swankster’s first language, or the second or third. I think he learned it from a (French) gorilla using sign language. And the gorilla learned it from missionaries from Jar-Jar’s home planet. That is all.

Sounds brutal. Nice of him to give the voters a heads-up, though.
Sounds exactly like the powers that Stanck would like to have over the pagans.

And then I read the whole thing-I think my IQ dropped 10 points.

B. Hussein promises America that if elected to the White House he will mesh all religions into one, slicing through the Judeo-Christian heritage of this nation.

Because nothing goes against the spirit of Judeo-Christianity like meshing two unrelated religions into one.

It’s almost enough to make me think this is all some brilliant parody.

What happens when a wingnut goes from being low-hanging fruit to a windfall, Alex?

[...] Anyway.  World O’ Crap also parsed this piece, if you want to read their take. [...]

I want to know more about his cousin in Kenya. He sounds like a savvy campaigner.

I begin to think that Pastor Swank can lick his forehead.

And not because he has an outrageously long tongue.

She also knows how hard it would be to shoot a moose in a burqa.

How he got in her burqa I’ll never know…

*badumCHING*

What? SOMEONE had to say it!

I dunno, a moose in a burqa sounds like an easy shot, seeing as the burqa constricts movement and vision. On the other hand, I read Moose are cranky, and a burka might make them even more so. PLUS they could hide all sorts of weapons under it. So, it could go either way.

actor212 — see the first comment. I leave no bad joke unmade.

And then I read the whole thing-I think my IQ dropped 10 points.
Unlearning can happen by osmosis as well.

glad to see we are such an educated society

no idiot left behind.

Flip,

Mine was funnier :-P

Y’know, I generally skip Ol’ Glamour Shots as much as possible–skip to your commentary, I mean–because I’m familially disposed to talking to a demented elderly woman a couple times a week, which exempts me even though she, unlike Swanky, is occasionally lucid. But yesterday I actually clicked over. I was wondering, specifically, what sort of audience might listen to the man’s sermons on a weekly basis. I mean, I’ve known some religious nuts in my day, but those who enjoyed gibberish usually took it in a slightly purer form. Anyway, I noticed that the Swankster is still “Pastor of New Hope Church in Windham, Maine,” as he’s been, I think, as long as Wo’C's been helping to spread his message. Then I looked a little further and noticed that, while its pastor has three web sites, his “writings” published on a couple dozen more, and claims an association with some sort of online Christian public relations firm, poor New Hope Church in Windham Maine has no web presence that doesn’t directly link back to Swanky’s bio. Not a home page, not a spot among the 308 churches listed in the Windham yellow pages, certainly not a link from Swank himself anywhere. I’m at a loss to explain it.

Does he write for Dr Bronner?

http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/images/dr-bronner-peppermint-soap-label.png

Nobody writes for Dr Bronner. It’s a meta-generated stream of artificial consciousness.

I used to read his bottles religiously.

actor212: Almost certainly so. Pack your bags, kid — you’re gonna be a big stah in the Catskills!

Some cursory investigation through an unnamed secret source (which makes maps online) turned up a “New Hope Bible Church” in Lewiston, about twenty-five or thirty miles north of Windham. Windham appears to be a little north of Portland, by Sebago Lake.

But I think there’s a “New Hope” something church just about every 100 mile radius across the country, so my investigation doesn’t lead to any strong evidence of Swank’s clubhouse.

Oh but hell, who cares, wingnuts hate all that compulsive fact checking. There’s no one more gullible than another con-man.

Okay, Scott, now you’ll have to pay for a CT scan, ’cause I think that this brief exposure to “Pastor” (if he’s a pastor, I’m the motherfucking ARCHANGEL Michael!!!) Swank, that I just blew out 40-50,000 brain cells.

How in the fuck do you, Mary & Sheri wade, tit-deep, into such fetid piles of bullshit, without wanting to peel your own eyelids off and run screaming into the night?

There’s got to be a purple heart for this kind of brutality.

Oh, and my reaction to Swank’s drivel:

But of course…

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I think that I just lost my dinner.

Is “mask Muslim” like, what was it a few weeks back, an “eyeball baby”?

You do not know how long I’ve waited to hear (read) a Mil Mascaras reference.

Thank You

That’s why we recommend that don’t read Swank’s columns right after eating, Annti. In fact it may be wise to wait at least eight hours or so.
Of course this won’t do much to stop it coming out from a different direction, but the resulting unpleasantness of that will still look better than what’s peering out at you from your computer scren.

Something to say?