It’s a Sunday evening, and I’m feeling kinda lazy.  So let’s see what ol’ Pastor Swank is up to…

Evangelicals must expose Muslim Obama

As if they don’t have enough to do fighting Darwinism and homo nups.

John McCain presently is into a reality kick to expose B. Hussein Obama. More power to him. He’s on the truth track. The more truth McCain kicks up, the more Obama the Liar will be revealed as the deceiver Boy he actually is.

You know me, I’m always up for a bracing, briny splash of Swankery, but…”deceiver Boy?”  I think the Pastor may be counting a little too much on his customary incoherence to keep him out of trouble (Boy?  Really?  Boy??).  At any rate, if he plans to make a habit of dealing in Jim Crow slurs for the duration of the campaign, he ought to look into some of those “code words,” David Gergen was talking about.

Why evangelicals?

First, they have the most to lose if Muslim Obama gets into the White House. B. Hussein will slice and dice evangelicals for he lives at the extreme other end of the theological spectrum.

‘Cause you know every one of those Negro bucks has a razor in his shoe.

Evangelicals are conservative biblical believers. B. Hussein is a liberal anti-Bible churchmen who says he’s Christian but is far, far from Christian.

Exactly 41.785 meters — a new world record!

Second, evangelicals believe the Bible to be the Word of God. They say they research biblical prophecy.

They also say your donations go to fund missions and charitable works abroad, but a remarkable number of the heathens who receive those dollars seem to be employed in the diamond stickpin and pinkie ring industries.

All the more then that evangelicals must apply their prophetic knowledge to the present spiritual danger-Muslim Obama. He is a snake if there ever was one. He is the arch-fake, given to manipulation maximum.

I’ve heard of the Arch-Fiend, but I freely admit that the “arch-fake” is a new one on me; I’d better check the Good Book…Ah!  Here it is, Revelations 4, Aisle B:  “For there appeareth the figure of man, dark of countenance, who offered to sell me a Rolex at ten percent below cost.  And I rejoiced, and paid him two goats and a skin of wine.  But on the road to Damascus, a man stoppeth to ask me the time, and ‘lo I saw that the hands had fallen like tears from the face of the timepiece, and as I gazed upon it in mine wrath I did behold the name upon the watch, which spake the word “Holex.”

Third, evangelicals are God’s messengers in every age, particularly this one that wars so ardently against divine revelation. In other words, if evangelicals remain silent, God loses His mouthpieces.

Which is completely unconstitutional, because under the 5th Amendment and the 7th Commandment, God is entitled to have an attorney present during questioning.

God needs every spokesman and spokeswoman who is redeemed by the blood of the Lamb.

True, although I admit that Lamb Blood-Covered Spokesmodel was always my least favorite Star Search category.

On Sundays in some quarters, B. Hussein has graced claimed evangelical pulpits to give forth his “faith,” “God,” and “Christian” witness. As sad as this is to the actual disciples, it is reality. Therefore, all the more genuine evangelicals must stand in the gap for biblical truth, sidelining those so-called evangelical leaders.

I didn’t quite understand this paragraph, but it sounds like he’s taking a quick break from the jeremiad to discuss Rugby strategy.

Fifth, evangelicals have their children to protect for the biblical testimony. The parents who say they stand firmly on Scripture as their moral base must assure the future of this Republic for the Judeo-Christian heritage.

That is only going to happen if Muslim Obama never lands on Pennsylvania Avenue.

To be honest, I hope he does land on Pennsylvania Avenue, because I’ve got two hotels there and I’ll bankrupt his ass.

If he does get into the White House, the Koran now placed by George W. Bush in that House library will be lifted by the new President to supplant the Bible.
That will mean that evangelicals’ own sons and daughters will be led to the slaughter. Their religious freedoms will be curtailed. Their worship exercises will be suspicioned. What they hold dear to the soul will be speared through and through.

Worship exercises suspicioned?!  I’d rather be deathed!

This is the time for every evangelical preacher and layperson to get the megaphone to mouth.

Putting it to anus is funnier, but seems to win fewer converts.

Posted by scott on Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 12:34 am.