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Riley and Moondoggie have many sharp policy differences, but at this historic time, they have put their petty squabbles aside and come together in their common disgust at our continued refusal to lick ourselves clean in public…

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“Repulsive.  They’re just sitting there. With their filthy pants on…!”

And yet, despite a long and hard campaign season, in which harsh words were traded, and tender sensibilities bruised, at the end of the day, the Tuxedo and the Marmalade can lay down together in peace and a spirit of cross-breed comity.  A New Day Has Dawned!  Let’s sleep through it!  Together!
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7 Responses to “Post-Friday Beast Blogging: Party Unity Edition”

When psychologists are describing the benefits of owning a companion animal, somehow they never mention “Endless source of withering contempt”.

They do look seriously underwhelmed in that top photo.

Detente.

Kittehs can always unite in Not Being Impressed by Apes.

But consider their point: surely if we were all limber enough to lick ourselves clean (leaving the pants issue aside for the moment), this would be a better world?

“A New Day Has Dawned! Let’s sleep through it! Together!

Sounds like a good idea, I could sure as hell use the rest. Oh, to come back as a spoiled-rotten housecat in my next life… *sigh*

And Li’l Innocent, honestly, would you really WANT to see nekkid apes all over the place, grooming themselves with spittle, BUCK-ASS NEKKID?!?!?! Ya gotta do the visuals on a concept like that…

Plus, we already know, and Carlin made quite a cute bit about it, that if humans could lick ourselves the way that cats & dogs do, WE’D NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE!

Better world? I dunno. Definitely quieter.

But imagine how many home-schooled bibul-bangers would break their own necks doing it via forwarded-e-mail instructions, rather than actual sexual education. They’d follow what they heard down at the prayer meeting, and wind-up pulling every muscle in their bodies, if not dislocating every single joint.

Hmmmm… maybe it would be a better world, after all! If only that “abstinence only” bullshit REALLY WORKED on teh bibul-bangers who push that shit, and they finally DID quit breeding… *sigh*

I think proponents of abstinence-only sex ed count masturbation as something to abstain from, so any other form of self-pleasure would also be verboten.

Bibul-thumpers (or God-botherers, as the Brits so charmingly say) and abstinence-only delusionists are by definition uptight and unhappy and tense. My limberness-for-all-Humanity thesis is that being as flexible as felines would cure all that crap. And as for getting monomaniacal about washing our nethers, nah – - we’d get bored with it after a year or two, and venture out of doors to twine ourselves around treetrunks or roll ecstatically on our gravel driveways, first one way and then the other.

A New Day indeed! And as for pants, why, we could wear them if we wanted. Do kitties care if other kitties wear pants? do doggies refuse to sniff noses with other doggies who may be wearing strange sweaters that have “Mummy’s Darling Angel” embroidered on them? No. Walt Whitman was right, animals have the right idea.

Something to say?