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Over at the Corner, attorney and former Scalia law clerk Ed Whelan muses that if Roe v. Wade has been decided in, say, 1960, then John McCain wouldn’t be losing the election right now, because Obama’s mother would clearly have had an abortion.

Former Fetus Barack Obama   [Ed Whelan] Nearly 48 years ago, a young woman, not yet 18, became pregnant in her freshman year of college.  Living in a time and place in which abortion was generally illegal, she proceeded to marry the father of her child and gave birth to a son.  Perhaps she would have done so irrespective of the abortion laws at the time, even if, say, she lived in a legal culture that celebrated abortion as a fundamental right.

“Hey, I hope you guys are coming to our annual Abortion Celebration tonight…It’s gonna get cuh-RAAAA-zy.  Helen’s bringing hotdish and I hear we’re gonna have Saline the Clown and a piñata shaped like a uterus.  Oh!  And don’t forget to sign the card before you leave; it’s Cindy’s Partial Birthday tomorrow.”

Very possibly not.  (I haven’t found any statistics on the percentage of pregnant college freshmen who abort their pregnancies, but indirect indications suggest that it’s very high.)

And these indications are strongly supported by Ed’s Magic 8-Ball, which said, “Signs Point to Yes” the third time he shook it.

Barack Obama may actually believe, as he stated yesterday, that Roe v. Wade “was rightly decided.”  But it may be very lucky for him, as the son born of that woman, that it hadn’t been decided a dozen or so years earlier.

Ed’s basically making the same point as those t-shirts which read, “Smile!  Your Mom Chose Life,” except his Cafe Press merchandise designed specifically for men with a touch of the tarbrush (octaroons and above) who were conceived out of wedlock and born prior to 1973 would read: “Smile!  Your Mother Had No Choice, Otherwise She Totallty Would Have Aborted You.”

That Obama may owe his very life to a pre-Roe legal regime that banned abortion is, to be sure, not necessarily a reason that he should favor that regime (though I can’t help noting that Justice Thomas’s critics recklessly accuse him of hypocrisy for opposing racial-preference plans that they say he benefited from).

Let me see if I’m following Ed’s logic here…Since young women in their first year of college will sometimes terminate unplanned pregnancies, Obama is only alive because abortion was illegal when he was gestating, so if he adopts a position as President which respects a woman’s right to control her own body, it’s as hypocritical as rich men, like John Edwards, caring about poor people.  But because nobody dies from affirmative action, it’s fine if Thomas benefits from the program, then pulls the ladder up after him and yells “so long, suckers!” to anybody in line behind him.  Because he’s had a libertarian epiphany.

But it ought to lead Obama and others to think more carefully about the valuable role that protective abortion laws play.

“Protective Abortion Laws:  Ruining Women’s Lives Today, While Protecting the Potential Presidential Fetuses of the Future.”

Okey doke, then.  Cafe Press, here we come…

19 Responses to “Abortion Bans Are Affirmative Action For Unwanted Mulattoes”

Oh brother!

Can the logic get any MORE tortured???

Not for nothing, but this election cycle and the crash-and-burn epic fail of the GOP and their candidates has created so much ruckus from the apple sauce suckers of the 101st Keyboard Kommandos (h/t The Editors) that it’s actually wearing me out!

I never, EVER, imagined I’d tire of laughing so loudly!

By the way, “Former Fetus” sounds like the sort of intro you’d give to a newscast:

“In a related story, former fetus Britney Spears gave birth today to yet another former fetus…”

This guy can’t write worth beans! O where is Pastor Swank when we need Him?

I don’t know how you can stand wading through the intellectual sewers of the rabies-right every day.

Yeah, women never have abortions if they’re illegal.

I love this argument. I was born to a single, 21-year old college student in 1986 (so well after Roe v. Wade). Somehow, I didn’t get aborted. Funny, that. My mother wasn’t a hardcore pro-lifer, either, she just decided that she’d rather put me up for adoption.

The real reason I love this particular pro-life canard is because it seems to assume that all women are kill-crazy harlots who will go around having abortions pell-nell unless we clamp down on that shit now. ‘Cause the anti-abortion crowd is classy like that.

Incidentally, I ran into another adoptee in a college class who pulled this same argument. I would have pointed out that, as she was younger than me, she was born during a time when abortion was very much legal so her argument didn’t make much sense. However, she was Catholic and I make a point of not arguing with them, especially about things like abortion. Catholics have a way of guilt-tripping you that Protestants can’t quite pull off.

First, thanks to D Johnston for recognizing the superior guilt-inducing qualities of the Catholic Church. As a recovering Catholic, I am quite proud of my ability to feel guilty about anything, anytime, no matter how inappropriate.

But I completely lost the connection to the idea that Justice Thomas’s critics recklessly accuse him of hypocrisy for opposing racial-preference plans that they say he benefited from. Isn’t that a pretty good description of hypocrisy? Rather than a reckless one, I mean.

D Johnston,

My favorite way of making pro-liffers (sic) squirm is to ask a simple question:

If abortion has killed “millions of innocent babies-to-be”, then why has the birth rate in the United States been on the *increase* every year since 1973? Why hasn’t it plummeted?

All abortion does is delay child bearing and if you’re going to force women to have all those kids in their teens and early twenties, when they are not as capable of raising them, then you are condemning MILLIONS of other children as yet unborn, who would have mothers and fathers better able to take care of them.

Now tell me how abortion is bad again, please?

Don’t know how old Ed is, but it could just as well be that he owes his life to the same stupid premise. How the hell would he know?

But I completely lost the connection to the idea that Justice Thomas’s critics recklessly accuse him of hypocrisy for opposing racial-preference plans that they say he benefited from. Isn’t that a pretty good description of hypocrisy? Rather than a reckless one, I mean.

Well, yeah. That’s his point. If this over here is hypocrisy to you left wingers, then isn’t this over there? If you lefties want us to condemn Thomas’ hypocrisy (the fact that we haven’t, ever, notwithstanding) then shouldn’t you condemn Obama’s?

What’s interesting about it is that he’s reaching for the It’s-not-the-[moral failing]-it’s-the-hypocrisy point, but in this case it translates directly into “It’s not the baby killing, it’s the hypocrisy I think you should condemn.”
Which, if you think about it, is just fucking creepy if you really believe it’s actually murder.

Referring to Obama as a “former fetus” reminds me of one of my favorite B. Kliban cartoons (there are so many!) showing an old man looking reproachfully out of the frame at the viewer. The caption: “‘It was HELL,’ recalls former child.”

Genius. I looked, but I can’t find a link on the web. I need to scan it and put it up.

Living in a time and place in which abortion was generally illegal, she proceeded to marry the father of her child and gave birth to a son.

“The Girls Who Went Away” by Ann Fessler. Have yerself a good read, Ed. See if you learn something.

Plus perhaps he should take note of wedding days and the date of birth for the happy couple’s first child through history: a woman being pregnant before marriage is actually a pretty normal event, and has been throughout history.

Go ahead: ask your day if his wedding proposal was “Don’t worry, I’ll marry you.”

I am a pro-life, pro-choice Catholic.

I believe in life, life is good, I am enjoying it quite a bit. But, as a single dad of two now grown females, I would NEVER presume that I should make decisions about their bodies. If my daughters become pregnant, it is their responsibility to raise their children should they choose to have them, and therefore, it is their decision to decide to have an abortion if that is appropriate. Who am I to say what is best for the women in my life? My responsibility as a man is to support them and honor the decisions they make even if I don’t agree with them 100%.

“(I haven’t found any statistics on the percentage of pregnant college freshmen who abort their pregnancies, but indirect indications suggest that it’s very high.)”

In other words, “I looked around at local colleges and universities, saw the stats and figured rightly that reproductive rights are enabling a large number of fertile women stay in school and out of the maternity wards.”

“Obama may owe his very life to a pre-Roe legal regime that banned abortion..”

My mother, now almost seventy something told me a long time ago she had an abortion prior to having me and my brother. Somehow the money my father had enabled her to procure and live through an illegal abortion. Fancy that Mr. Ed.

A concept most conservatives who continue to press that they understand the principles of market demand better than us lefties, seem to be unable to grasp that principle when it comes to anything but an excuse for the rich to be greedy; is that where there’s demand there’s someone happy to supply.

Which explains why they can’t understand that Justice Thomas in fact, by narrowing the supply of programs to correct racial inequality, has not narrowed the demand, which remains high. But then again, Thomas has taken from the conservative/libertarian playbook in that privilege is an inherent right endowed by those who were born into it, clamored and killed for it and were able to keep such from being reduced to mass acquisition.

Thus, he can write an entire book claiming he earned his position ignoring left wing policies designed to increase access to rights and wingnuts can claim that Obama has earned his right to breath another day thanks to the denial of peoples’ rights.

“And don’t forget to sign the card before you leave; it’s Cindy’s Partial Birthday tomorrow.”

Oh, man – that was terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Made me laugh out-loud.

But then, I’m very pro-death, pro-abortion b/c the Fallen Uterus let me know, in 1977, that I was “damned lucky” that abortion hadn’t been legal in 1970. Teh Dick was pushing for an illegal option, but she somehow managed to get out of it, and hence we have the loverly situation of today.

It’d be nice if all of the people who are granted law degrees could actually UNDERSTAND the laws of this country, or, really, any logic or system of government whatsofuckingever. All that they know is that their shepherds told them that the U.S. is “perfect,” except for us unlawful, undeserving hippies who wanna fuck it all up. Where would they be without fear-mongering? They only admit to (hype) realistic crime statistics when it keeps the middle-class white women afraid & at home, where a mayunn can protect them, and where they SHOULD be, all subservient and “gawdly” in their sacrificing their brains for their mayunn’s will.

Barack Obama, while still not my favorite candidate (it should’ve been Bill Richardson, dammit!), skeers the living shit out of these ignorant-ass crackers, and I highly enjoy that. My oldest niece is planning to invite Barry & Michelle to her wedding next year, to HER big, skeery black man. Second niece didn’t invite anybody, she eloped, because she has way shittier taste in men.

And yes, the nieces disappoint me with their xian superstitions (beaten into them by Psycho-Cunt “sister”), but at least the redhead knows how to stand up for herself, I’ve seen her left hook. Why they feel the need to saddle themselves with municipal licenses & cult “sanctified” bullshit, I have no fucking idea, I thought that they were smarter than that, but such is life.

(Helluva lot easier to eject/evict a motherfucker when YOUR name is on the fucking lease, knowhutimean?)

Second niece didn’t invite anybody, she eloped, because she has way shittier taste in men.

Hey, now: there are other reasons to elope! The Significant Other and I eloped because we have shitty taste in families.

Plus, there was Elvis. But you get my point.

How, exactly, does/did Elvis relate to the event in question?

Second/formerly-blonde Niece eloped ’cause she married a guy who beat her well into her third trimester, hence my permanently-brain-damaged great-niece, who should’ve been able to make Madeline Albright look like a lightweight.

Not saying that all marriages or all elopements are a bad idea, just presenting anecdotal information.

Something to say?