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« My One And Only Comment On Michael Jackson
4th of July Beast Blogging: The “What a Country!” Edition »

Palin’s Family Resigns To Spend More Time With New Alaska Governor

WASILLA, Alaska — In a stunning announcement, Sarah Palin’s children said they will resign from her family in a few weeks.  Speculation has swirled for several months that the Governor’s children would step down if Palin entered the 2012 presidential race, and today’s resignation is being taken by many as a firm indication of Governor Palin’s plans for her political future.  Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell will be inaugurated as her successor at the Governor’s Picnic at Pioneer Park in Fairbanks on Sunday, July 26.  An emotionally choked-up Parnell said he plans to keep all state commissioners, and all children currently serving in the First Family.

In their statement, the Palin children — Spoor, Twig, Benzene, Skeeter, and Scat — said that the “media circus” surrounding their mother made it “difficult to focus on the job to which Alaskans indirectly elected us.”  They concluded by pledging that their forthcoming adoption by Lt. Governor Parnell would “help to restore honor and dignity to the First Family.”

Posted by scott on Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 1:17 pm.

23 Responses to “Palin’s Family Resigns To Spend More Time With New Alaska Governor”

Are you sure you weren’t listing Meghan Cox Gurdin’s kids? [Speaking of which…whatever happened to her? It’s been so long since we heard from her, I’m not even sure I spelled her name right]

Left by Bill S on July 3rd, 2009

Perhaps it’s about to come out that she’s another of Sanford’s soul mates. You just never know.

Left by slywy on July 3rd, 2009

You just never know.

If it has something to do with who Trig’s real mom is, I’m going to come.

Left by Nom de Plume on July 3rd, 2009

How much you wanna bet that - deep in their private souls - Palin’s kids want to do just exactly what Scott says?

Left by Li'l Innocent on July 3rd, 2009

Liberals like you are terrified of Palin because she is a strong, intelligent, and articulate conservative woman. That’s why you stoop so low as to attack her children.

Watch out, sir, tax cutting conservatives will sweep the Marxists and the fascists from Congress, and then Sarah will deliver a devistating 50 state sweep to The One in ‘12.

America will be free again.

Left by Lord Basil on July 4th, 2009

“the Palin children — Spoor, Twig, Benzene, Skeeter, and Scat”

lololololol

I heard that Scat is really the love child of Spoor and Twig…

Left by The Fool on July 4th, 2009

You know liberals are scared when they start going after the kids. Remember homely little Chelsey Clinton with her cute litte overbite and her kinky out-of-control hair? Taboo to make fun of that ugly duckling! How dare we go over the kids! hypocrates. Even Colin Powell has now stopped drinking the Obama koolaid. Amen

Left by dkat on July 4th, 2009

Hey scott-I thought you sprayed for trolls.

Left by Bill S on July 4th, 2009

What’s Hypocrates got to do with it?

Left by kate on July 4th, 2009

Apparently he took the Hippocratic Oath: First, make no sense.

Left by scott on July 4th, 2009

The One in ‘12

I think he’s saying she’ll receive 8.333333333333% of the vote. It’s like pi for the Non-Euclidean Bund.

Cheney’s polling better than the GOP in recent days, and as Barry Crimmins once put it, Cheney’s just behind cholera in the favorability polls.

Left by bidziliba on July 4th, 2009

I would probably be a bit more worried about Palin in ‘12 if I could just forget that the Paliniacs were saying these exact, same things last August when she was first picked as the VP for McCain.

She didn’t scare me then, she doesn’t scare me now.

I feel bad for her kids. Can’t be easy having a nut for a mom…

Left by Maryc on July 4th, 2009

“Even Colin Powell”? As in “even one of them”? Christ, who asked for him? Man’s a disgrace to the uniform he used to wear. He helped send US military personnel to their deaths by lying through his teeth, then imagined that his political endorsement was so valuable it’d earn him a Cabinet position. Even Colin Powell? I’d say Obama won in a landslide despite his endorsement.

And Palin was a net drag on votes last time. But, please, don’t let that stop you from resurrecting her.

Left by Doghouse Riley on July 4th, 2009

Given that Powell’s career rise began when he was the point man with regards to whitewashing Vietnam War atrocities,I’d say he disgraced his uniform decades ago. I’ve never understood the adulation he receives from otherwise intelligent and reasonable people.

According to Robert Parry, Powell, in his memoirs, goes so far as to defend practices, such as shooting civilians from Helicopters and burning down villages, which are war crimes under any reasonable standards. He defended General Donaldson after two helicopter pilots, who’d flown with him, accused him of shooting Vietnamese for sport.

He may not be quite the knuckle dragging sociopath, which has become so characteristic of the GOP, but he’s had an illustrious 40 odd year career, as a co-dependent enabler of them.

Left by bidziliba on July 4th, 2009

I watched Palin’s news conference the other day. Its obvious she’s heading for a full-tilt breakdown. No doubt the Feds have been sniffing around her door and lifting up her skirt and looking around at every corner.

Unnerves a person after awhile you know, especially when you know they probably have something very damning to find.

In about a year or maybe less the extreme wingnut fringe will be adding Palin’s demise to their long List of Persecutions.

Left by kate on July 5th, 2009

Just for the record, I was constructing an argument for the generalized Palin troll, and in particular the sort who says “even Colin Powell” as though a) skin tone is all you need to know in certain circumstances; and b) Powell’s “support” of Barack Obama would be assumed by anyone with 2¢ worth of brain cells to rub together as having been concerned with any skin other than his own. Atrocities, real or philosophical, are actually celebrated in such quarters; lying your way into American military deaths should not be, though you may notice this frequently depends on who’s doing the lying. The point being that such people ought to defend that if they wish to use Powell as an example of The Man Who Thinks Rationally despite being colored.

Left by Doghouse Riley on July 5th, 2009

Other than those mutts Amy Carter and Chelsea Clinton, the Republicans have always acted honorable when talking about Democrats’ kids*.

*I’m tired of the fauxrage on both sides when it comes to decorum.

** “First, make no sense: The Hypocrattic Oath” will be a valued Internet Tradition in the coming months if I have any say in the matter.

Left by Jay B. on July 5th, 2009

Wait, we’re making fun of the kids? I thought we were making fun of an adult woman who views child-naming as a game of Boggle. Good gods, people, they’re human beings, not some exercise in creativity. They have to *live* with the names you give them, at least until they’re old enough to change them legally, which isn’t exactly cheap or easy. You want to express yourself, take a haiku course. Your kids deserve at least a fighting chance of making it through junior high without being shoved into a locker.

dkat is clearly the kind of person, as is Palin, who when called a son of a bitch will get incredibly outraged that you would insult their *mother*. Defend yourselves when you’re insulted, don’t hide behind the kids. Especially, in Palin’s case, the kids you’ve already inflicted stupidity on.

Left by D. Sidhe on July 5th, 2009

Just for the record, I was constructing an argument for the generalized Palin troll, and in particular the sort who says “even Colin Powell” as though a) skin tone is all you need to know in certain circumstances; and b) Powell’s “support” of Barack Obama would be assumed by anyone with 2¢ worth of brain cells to rub together as having been concerned with any skin other than his own

Yes, I understood that. My remarks weren’t aimed at you. I was just pointing out that Powell was never the paragon of virtue that is his public image.

Left by bidziliba on July 5th, 2009

[…] Opinions You Should Have: Alternate Reality: Palin resigns presidency to lead country better and better effect change.  UPDATE: Palin’s family resigns to spend more time with new Alaska Governor! […]

Left by Mike’s Blog Roundup | My Blog Channel on July 6th, 2009

I thought Palin’s kids were named Tractor, Frentic, Gallop, Crate and Rug?

Left by JR on July 6th, 2009

“Republicans have always acted honorable”

This is a PRO-family blog so stop masterbaiting, please - you’ll go blinder.

Left by HarpoSnarx on July 6th, 2009

Liberals like you are terrified of Palin because she is a strong, intelligent, and articulate conservative woman.

You were 0 for 4 until a bloop hit dropped with “woman” in the 9th. I’m not even going to give credit for “conservative,” considering that she runs a state dedicated to the proposition of giving every citizen big bundles of free money.

Left by FlipYrWhig on July 6th, 2009

Something to say?