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With the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Diego Union-Tribune both filing for bankruptcy, I’ve begun to fear for the life of California’s sole remaining big city paper, the Los Angeles Times.  Mostly because, since they continue to publish Jonah Goldberg, death with dignity isn’t really an option.

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Here we go again. Rush Limbaugh is public enemy No. 1.

Ever since he pushed that grapefruit into Michelle Malkin’s face.

Liberal bloggers and media chin-strokers are aghast at Limbaugh’s statement that he hopes Barack Obama fails.

Speaking as someone who has read Jonah’s unedited fanboy emissions on The Corner, I would urge — no, beg — him to avoid the “*-strokers” construction.

Well, given what Obama wants to do, I hope he fails too.

I hear that Limbaugh was so touched by Jonah’s support that he declared they were now BFFs 4evah, and invited him to join Rush’s Brotherhood of the Traveling Sweatpants.

Of course I want the financial crisis to end — who doesn’t? But Obama’s agenda is much more audacious. Pretty much every major news outlet in the country has said as a matter of objective analysis that Obama wants to repeal the legacy of Ronald Reagan and remake the country as a European welfare state.

By “every major news outlet,” Jonah means “a thing I stole from Charles Krauthammer,” and “a crazy guy at Human Events who still hates Roosevelt.”

And yet people are shocked that conservatives, Limbaugh included, want Obama to fail in this effort?

Only if you think “shock” and “disgust” are synonyms.

What movie have they been watching? Because I could swear that conservatives opposing the expansion of big government is what conservatives do.

Well, it’s what conservatives say

It’s Aesopian. The scorpion must sting the frog. The conservative must object to socialized medicine.

Jonah will now perform the touching ballad, “Corner of the Sky,” from Pippin.  (”Rivers belong where they can ramble/Eagles belong where they can fly…”)  And while the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog probably isn’t by Aesop, the fact that Jonah correctly identified the story’s dramatis personae proves that he’s even more cerebral than Selwyn Duke.

Besides, since when did hoping for the failure of ideological agendas you disagree with become unpatriotic?

The America First committee hoped Lend-Lease would fail, and you could hardly call them unpatriotic.  Even their name says Merry Christmas.

Liberals were hardly treasonous when they hoped for the failure of George W. Bush’s Social Security privatization scheme.

And there’s no moral difference between trying to prevent Bush from destroying the safety net of Social Security, and hoping the entire U.S. financial system collapses so you can crawl out from the rubble and chant, “neener, neener.”

Regardless, the war on Limbaugh from the left is a tired rehash. In 1995, Bill Clinton tried to blame the Oklahoma City bombing on Rush. In 2002, then-Sen. Tom Daschle, the leader of the Democratic opposition, claimed that Limbaugh’s listeners weren’t “satisfied just to listen.” They were a violent threat to decent public servants like him.

Geez.  You tell your listeners some guy is “the devil,” then somebody happens to mail him an envelope full of weaponized anthrax, and suddenly, you’re the bad guy?

Does anyone think that Republicans, absent fear of Limbaugh’s lash, would be throwing flower petals at Obama’s feet as he sells the Great Society II? If that’s true, I say thank goodness for Limbaugh’s lash.

BZZZT!  I’m sorry Jonah, but you just set off the Too Much Information alarm.

Just because the Democrats’ shtick is old and often dishonest doesn’t mean it’s tactically dumb. Limbaugh and other right-wing talkers are popular with a third of the country. Fairly or not, they turn off moderates and self-described independents (and, for the left, conservative talk radio is the font of all evil). Most politicians would prefer to have 70% of the public on their side at the cost of losing 30%, even if that requires being less than fair to the 30%.

When will America finally treat its Dittoheads with the respect they’ve earned?

…I do have a suggestion that would help on both fronts. Bring back “Firing Line.” William F. Buckley Jr., who died almost exactly a year ago, hosted the program for PBS for 33 years. He performed an incalculable service at a time when conservatives were more associated with yahoos than they are today. He demonstrated that intellectual fluency and good manners weren’t uniquely liberal qualities. More important, the “Firing Line” debates (models of decorum) demonstrated that conservatives were unafraid to examine their own assumptions or to battle liberal ones.

But Jonah, who could we possibly find to host it?

Hey…

Wait a minute…! Why, without your glasses and face-mullet, you’re…you’re beautiful…!

28 Responses to “Outgassing: The Jonah Goldberg Experience”

Liberals were hardly treasonous when they hoped for the failure of George W. Bush’s Social Security privatization scheme.

Fuck you, Jonah Goldberg.

The speed with which Republican commentators have completely reversed their positions is head spinning.

I can’t believe Goldberg is saying, “Why, when Bush was President it was hardly treasonous to disagree with him! We Republicans have always felt that vocal, radical dissent is highly patriotic, and we said so at every opportunity!”

Asshole, it’s been about a month since Obama was sworn in. I may not have the best memory, but I can fucking remember what you guys were saying in the earlier half of this winter.

Besides, since when did hoping for the failure of ideological agendas you disagree with become unpatriotic?

Iraq? Hullo?

Aesopian . . . Jonah said “Aesopian.” Clearly, this brilliant literary allusion demonstrates that Jonah is the conservative intellectual best equipped to pick up the baton of the fallen Buckley, wrap his pudgy hand firmly around it, and sally forth holding it high in hand into the brave new world of the conservative future.

You go get ‘em, Loadpants! I shall await with interest.

“repeal the legacy of Ronald Reagan”
Ah, one can only dream….

“He performed an incalculable service at a time when conservatives were more associated with yahoos than they are today.”

*Insert cover of “Liberal Fascism” here*

Jonah is the conservative intellectual best equipped to pick up the baton of the fallen Buckley
I don’t know how to say this, Candy, but that isn’t a baton.

Limbaugh and other right-wing talkers are popular with a third of the country.

Ironically, this is the same third of the country that cannot organize an effective protest because, after all, “Unlike liberals we have jobs”. Jobs that allow them to monitor the radio all day long, apparently.

Bring back “Firing Line.” William F. Buckley Jr., who died almost exactly a year ago, hosted the program for PBS for 33 years — and given the state of conservative intellectualism, there’s NO REASON he can’t do it for another 33. Even dead, Buckley’s smooth Nazi-henchman charm and famous Afrikkaner erudition can win over adversaries like few other conservative yahoos can.

“William F. Buckley… demonstrated that intellectual fluency and good manners weren’t uniquely liberal qualities”

Yeah, like when he wrote, “Birmingham’s Negroes will never be content so long as the white population is free to be free.” Genuine class!

Ironically, this is the same third of the country that cannot organize an effective protest because, after all, “Unlike liberals we have jobs”. Jobs that allow them to monitor the radio all day long, apparently.

Me, I am with you on that! That whole “we can’t have good protest turnouts because we work” thing is bullshit. Every protest against the war that has been held in Los Angeles is held on SATURDAYS.

The teachers union held their rally and march this past January AFTER work.

They had a poor turnout because it was not a truly “grassroots” movement. And it was lame.

It’s interesting how the head-turning dishonesty of the thing–or what would be head-turning if we weren’t so used to it by now–is mirrored by dishonesty of every magnitude all the way down. Limbaugh didn’t say he wanted Obama’s policies to fail. At least that ain’t what he said in the beginning, before any had been enacted; he wanted the man to fall flat like his boy Bush did, a complete pratfall, followed by some New York curb service. He got called–this is their definition of patriotism, remember–and he “adjusted” his story so that now he’s merely hoping for total economic Armaggedon. They’re fucking cowards, the lot of ‘em.

I think he’s backing away from THAT stance even now, DR. He “says” that he wants the policy to fail because he knows it will hurt America (and he won’t hear any other premise.)

But that’s a lie, too. He will be THRILLED if America slides into a depression, millions unemployed and homeless, cuz it means that the GOP will get back in power, and that’s ALL he cares about.

Country first? As my mom might say, “My Aunt Fanny!”

It’s been “Party First” for these guys since their Contract On America.

He performed an incalculable service at a time when conservatives were more associated with yahoos than they are today.

It is impossible to imagine a time when conservatives have ever been more associated with yahoos than they are today. Like, theoretically, even.

“…He performed an incalculable service…when conservatives were… associated with … they are today. He demonstrated that fluency and good weren’t uniquely liberal qualities. More important… conservatives were to examine their own assumptions or to battle liberal ones…”

Ah, for the good old days!

Is Doughy Pantload comparing Buckley to Rich Limblarg, insinuating Rich is a stupid, rude, ]cowardly Yahoo?

grrr! The missing words are: Yahoos, Intellectual,Good Manners, Courage.

I didn’t mean the words to be erased by WordPress, but maybe WordPress is smarter than I thought. Smarter than Loadpants, anyway.

face-mullet

isn’t that a face-merkin?

Goldberg seems to have missed the part where the scorpion stings the frog and THEY BOTH DROWN.

Goldberg misses everything.

And the print edition of the Times lost one of its sections today. It may not be around much longer.

But that just means more free massage & escort ad papers in the newsracks.

Two sections gone, actually, as the Classified disappeared into the Sports & Business sections.

Jonah believes that sarcasm trumps logic and the facts nearly all of the time. He is no less disingenuous than Limbaugh, Hannity, Krauthammer, and O’Reilly. When did “professional liar” become a vocation? Why don’t more people find it insulting?

Anyone who would take money to misinform me is not my friend or even on the same team. They continue to play the old game of accusing others of doing what they are doing, as if this style of deceit works any better when adults use it than when children pull the same stunt. Journalists are currently of two types. They are either too naive’ to know they are being used or they are deliberately betraying the public. Either way reveals the disrespect they share for Americans who are not insiders.

I also love how he conflates the failure of SS privatization and the failure of the stimulus bill. Democrats hoped that SS privatization would fail to pass. If it did pass, we would hope like hell that it did work, because if it didn’t millions of Americans would lose their retirement income. Ice floe time, anyone? Rush & co. are hoping that the already passed stimulus bill would fail, because millions of (other) people losing their jobs and homes is a small price to pay to prove the superiority of the Republican ideology

Make both these fucktards squeal, says I.

And yes, that’s how eloquent I can buckley-be.

…Buckley…intellectual fluency and good manners… not uniquely liberal qualities? So what’s your excuse, Jonah?

“(Buckley) demonstrated that intellectual fluency and good manners weren’t uniquely liberal qualities.”

No, Jonah, he demonstrated that intellectual fluency and good manners can serve perfectly well as a mask for hate and greed.

I second Jay B.’s desire to see Zombie William F. Buckley resume his duties as host of Firing Line. And, Herr Doktor, they can always sew the baton back on.

It’s Aesopian. The scorpion must sting the frog. The conservative must object to socialized medicine.

So conservatives will drown with socialized medicine?

“(Buckley) demonstrated that intellectual fluency and good manners weren’t uniquely liberal qualities.”

Oh those sneaky, cheating Libs with their intellect and good manners and kind hearts and stupid plans to “save the Earth”. Huh (spitting in a spitoon noise)

If it’s not treasonous to speak ill of Bush then how come it didn’t applty to the dixie chicks?

Something to say?