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tabor.jpg Many conservative pundits, even those on the split-end fringes of the movement, seem hilariously flummoxed by Barack Obama, unsure how to vilify a black president without turning their tacit racism explicit, and ruining all the mystery.  It’s like the terror experienced by a teenage boy as he watches his mother collect dirty laundry, and prays that she doesn’t turn that one particular sweat sock inside out.   But RenewAmerica has found the solution in Nathan Tabor, a politically savvy man-child who Jerry Falwell once dubbed, “the young Jesse Helms,” right around the time Nathan ran for Congress (against Vernon Robinson, “the black Jesse Helms”) by pouring nearly a million dollars into an eight-way primary, and then losing; or possibly it was during his subsequent campaign for the North Carolina state senate, which he also lost.  At any rate, who better than “the young Jesse Helms” to dynamite this rhetorical beaver dam of self-censoring racial sensitivity, and let the bracing cataract of criticism flow free, like a cool clear stream of propaganda to a parched and barren land, thirsty for talking points:

The media lovefest over our new President makes much of the fact that he is the first African-American to hold the highest office in the land. One would expect, then, that the nation’s most prominent black leader would pursue policies that would benefit blacks as never before.

Obama’s entire presidential campaign was an elaborate scheme to give black folks free abortions and bottomless refills of Motherfucking™ iced tea.  Oh, and access to nuclear weapons.

However, based on his statements on the campaign trail, it appears that Barack Obama is poised to implement programs that will wreak havoc on the black family — and could, in fact, decimate the African-American population.

He could also step on a dandelion on the South Lawn of the White House and wipe out an entire colony of Whos.

For instance, Obama has embraced an old-school liberalism which will put Uncle Sam on a high-octane spending spree, creating massive government programs which will weaken American initiative. Minorities are likely to be especially vulnerable to such strong-arm government tactics.

Future historians will tell how Obama set his goons loose in the ghettos, to brutally club minorities into prosperity with the axe-handles of opportunity.

Obama told Planned Parenthood in 2007 that the first thing he’d do as President would be to sign the Freedom of Choice Act — a radical piece of legislation which would go beyond Roe versus Wade in declaring abortion to be a fundamental right, such as the right to free speech.

So radical that it apparently repeals Article V (requiring that changes be made only after a two-thirds vote in the House and Senate, and approval by three-fourths of the states) and grants Obama the power to amend the Constitution at whim.  He probably takes a copy into the crapper with him and scribbles additions to the Bill of Rights (”Amendment 78 declares that Silly Putty which has picked up the image of a five dollar bill may be used as legal tender”…”The right of the people to be secure in their houses, illusions, underpants, pre-conceived notions, and special effects, against unreasonable searches, seizures, and reach-arounds, shall not be violated…Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of the Mark Eden Bust Developer…”

Since the Freedom of Choice Act would result in the elimination of virtually all restrictions on abortion, abortion rates under Obama could conceivably skyrocket. African-American women already obtain a disproportionate number of abortions, meaning that the African-American child could be particularly at risk under the Obama Administration. The black genocide, which has already claimed millions of lives since 1973, could escalate.

Ah yes, it’s our old friend Not Having a Baby is the Moral Equivalent of Shooting a Man in Reno Just to Watch Him Die.  It seems that jailing and executing African Americans at wildly disporportionate rates, and standing idly by while they suffered from poverty, inferior schools, and poor health care just wasn’t getting the job done.  But a new generation of ethnic cleansers — people like Obama, who are educated, organized, and ergonomically aware — realize that by increasing abortion rates, they can nip these black people in the bud.  It’s like taking a hot air balloon up to the fluffy cloud where baby souls wait to be born, wading into the queue and clubbing them like baby harp seals.

Remember those shots of African-Americans, young and old, weeping with uncontainable joy as they stood on the Mall and watched the inauguration?  Just imagine their expressions when Obama cranks up the Black Genocide and they realize, “Well, I guess the jokes on us!“  Of course, it’s perhaps a shade ironic to hear anti-choice activists like Nathan declare that Blacks are committing racial suicide, since the anti-abortion movement arose from a fear that Slavs, Celts, Latins, and other inferior flavors of white people — let alone Negroes — were outbreeding the Anglo-Saxon middle class.

But blacks are not the only minority group which could suffer under the Democratic regime in Washington.

The streets will run red with the blood of Freemasons.

Democratic leaders believe that children must be taught evolution, and they cringe at the common-sense notion of intelligent design. The evolutionary theory promoted by Charles Darwin teaches survival of the fittest. That would place homosexuals at the bottom of the chain, since they cannot procreate.

Nathan, if your entire case against homosexuality depends upon natural selection, then I’d suggest you check out the guys parading down Santa Monica Boulevard on a hot day, because if it all comes down to survival of the fittest, there’s going to be nothing left after the apocalypse but cockroaches and West Hollywood.

Under evolution, they are destined to die out, forced out of existence by the heterosexuals who can procreate.

Brilliant plan; except for all the heterosexuals who keep making new homosexuals.

The idea that our nation’s Democratic leaders are anti-black, anti-minority, and anti-homosexual is an inconvenient truth. It is uncomfortable to read because it is uncomfortable to write.

“And it’s particularly uncomfortable to write while wearing this titanium alloy chastity belt with the Kryptonite lock, which is fearfully chafing my naughty batch.”

But, as an old adage goes, the truth will make you free. Only when Democrats confront their own bigoted demons can true progress begin, can we finally heal as a nation.

And perhaps — one day — Democrats will even become progressive enough to elect an African-American president.

*Post relabeled at Mark S’s suggestion.  I have a feeling this is going to be a growth category over the next couple years.

22 Responses to “Nathan Tabor Worries Obama’s White Side Will Kill His Black Side”

>That would place homosexuals at the bottom of the chain, since they cannot procreate.

What crap. I know plenty of gays who have children. Most of them were even (gasp!) married at one time, and many are now grandparents.

>Only when Democrats confront their own bigoted demons

More right-wing projection. Credibility = zero. Next!

Democrats are bigots. So are Republicans.

See, humans are bigots. There’s no getting around that, as Tamboring Man’s own column proves.

The difference is, Democrats reject their innate bigotry for the good of a better society, while Republicans embrace it for self-protection.

Conversely, under intelligent design, are homosexuals destined to prosper?

This piece should be filed under “Troll (Concern).”

I’m starting to think there’s a connection between the way these people talk about abortion and they way they talk about homosexuality. Apparently if you’re gay, you will never have straight sex, so you’re not going to breed. If you’re not anti-abortion, you will apparently never carry a child to term. For all their talk about how homosexuality is a choice, they don’t actually seem to grasp the concept of choice that well. They also aren’t at all comfortable with the notion of recessive genes, I guess. It’s like they have completely binary brains, and are not capable of grasping any sort of ambiguity or variations.

Kind of a shame they got stuck being human, really, because we are all about variation.

and let the bracing cataract of criticism flow free

It has a certain snappy alliterative cadence even if somewhat definitively askew - I like it! World O’ Crap: Come for the snark, stay for the witty reparte!

“the common-sense notion of intelligent design.”

What is it with these freaks and the fetish for the phrase “common-sense?” Everything they support must be common-sense even when it’s obviously not. What about intelligent design can be described as common-sense?

Another prime example of the results of spending all your time seeking the approval (and donations) of people who already agree with you, as Tabor appears to imagine he’s constructed a trap out of a couple of willful misapprehensions of Darwin, like it doesn’t occur to him that if it hasn’t worked in 150 years it’s unlikely one more column will do the trick. Hail to thee, rapidly aging Young Jessie Helms! Nobody you talk to knows any better, and anybody who knows any better takes one look and laughs.

a radical piece of legislation which would go beyond Roe versus Wade in declaring abortion to be a fundamental right, such as the right to free speech.

But that’s exactly what it is. Precedent is law; Court decisions are Constitutional law. Your right to be read a Miranda warning, say, or your right not to be forced to pray in public school, are as “fundamental” as any in the Bill of Rights. (I happen to think this is partly a shortcoming of rights advocates continuing the argument over abortion as it was pre-Roe, and partly, maybe mostly, the result of how the argument has been scripted in the Press for thirty-five years, as though these “moral” arguments are somehow the crux of the matter.)

i like yo’ senze of hoomor!~

Under evolution, they are destined to die out, forced out of existence by the heterosexuals who can procreate.

They continually misunderstand the concept of Darwinism, don’t they? Darwinism=survival. It’s that simple. If you figure out how to survive, you win. There is no other consideration.

If gays figure out a way to adopt kids, look out. If they figure out how to adopt all the unwanted kids of heterosexual couples, they win the world.

Teh Babbies! Won’t summun tink of teh (darkie) babbies! And fertility clinics don’t count…

The only understanding these IDiots have of evolution is mis-.

Goddam, but Nathan was right! That was downright painful to read!

Darwin said “The species best able to adapt”.

The religious nuts cannot adapt to the teachings of modern method-based science, so they are struggling to make the world adapt to them. Not very successfully.

“…because if it all comes down to survival of the fittest, there’s going to be nothing left after the apocalypse but cockroaches and West Hollywood.”

You forgot Keith Richards and Peter O’Toole’s liver. And Richard Harris’ offspring.

‘Under evolution, they are destined to die out, forced out of existence by the heterosexuals who can procreate.’

“Brilliant plan; except for all the heterosexuals who keep making new homosexuals.”



If this douche is truly the “Young Jesse Helms,” may he meet the exact same ending that Bill Hicks projected for the original, out back under a pee-kan tree, with horseflies humming in and out of the eaves of the attic, where he’s stashed that collection of small, oddly-shaped, home-tanned hides and little-bitty shoes. With Fatfuck Limbaugh (”RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A SCAT-MUNCHER!”) dying ATOP him. On a really bad July day with 200% humidity.

I once spent a night in Tabor.

as an old adage goes, the truth will make you free

Mr. Wonderful apparently doesn’t recognize this “adage” as having come from the Bible. But Jesus is the one who said it, so Tabor’s unfamiliarity with the source of his old saw/Aesop’s fable/truism/old wives’ tale/whatEVER is understandable.

Brilliant plan; except for all the heterosexuals who keep making new homosexuals.
No, you’re brilliant, scott!

Homosexuals can too procreate! We recruit, like Catholic priests. Ask anyone (free sandwich toaster if you apply before April 15th!)

Yes, it’s said among us that one lesbian can make another with just one kiss.

Ah, so Obama is the REAL racist.

I also find it interesting that the usual line from Tabor’s ilk is that black people are having too MANY children.

I suppose the ultimate solution for those folks would be if the blacks would just somehow stop having sex.

Left by Mentis Fugit on January 29th, 2009


Somebody call teh preachers, they done rolled away the stone!

And as far as homosexuals procreating, don’t y’all know that the MAIN reason that Dumbya beat his hairless chest so much about passing anti-cloning legislation is because it only takes two EGGS to build a human zygote through cloning (and a little zap of electricity), thereby rendering sperm UNNECESSARY.

I dunno what you boys are gonna do, but yes, it only takes one kiss to create a lesbian, and then those two can go make a baby with a hot wire, some tiny pipettes, and a microscope! Turkey basters are a relic of the past, chirrens, and don’t think that it won’t catch on, sooner or later. After all, look at the multi-trillion-dollar market of wasting ALLLL of teh yuppie scum’s expendable income on frittering THEIR flawed DNA across the planet in those “fertility clinics” (ego trips on steroids, if they’re so fucking important, that they MUST replicate THEMSELVES; after all, it’s not like there’s any kids who need to be ADOPTED, right? Yeah, Angelina’s covered several continents, but she can’t buy ‘em ALL, dammit.). If some relatively modernized country can master the art of putting the nucleus of one egg into the cell of another, hitting it with a little electric juice, and then implanting it in the carrier, that’s a whole new watershed for the egotists who MUST raise ONLY their own progeny.

And in whatever country legalizes it, will most likely not make the OTHER parent have to SUE to be on the birth certificate, so they’ll make a fortune in obstetrics, too!

Fuck, if Lousy-ana weren’t Vatican West, we might FINALLY be able to drag our asses outta the 1980s (when Reagan destroyed our economy) and into the 21st century. After all, if there’s ever been a cesspool of pro-breeding pablum, gubmint subsidies, and cult-enforced live births, THIS IS IT. Too bad that Piyush converted so vehemently to catholicism, he’s SO about teh “economic development,” well, for SOME people, anyway…

“Under evolution, they are destined to die out…”
Yes,if the gay were a species. But why would this not have already happened?
But Tabor doesn’t even believe in evolution. So he’s saying that Dems are homophobic because… if you believe in evolution, you must judge people by whether they can reproduce. Excuse me while I go toss my mom in the dumpster - her reproducin’ days are over; she ain’t no good fer nothing now.

Tabor. Glad I’m not him!

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