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Archive for April 25th, 2009

AKA Is The New 666

Posted by scott on April 25th, 2009

This morning, as I was standing in the kitchen making coffee and toast, it suddenly hit me:  Why must the left destroy the USA?  I mean, I know they must, that’s a given, but why must they?  Is it mandatory — something to do with zoning compliance or insurance regulations?  Is it prophylactic — taking out the USA because it possesses weapons of mass destruction (which it has used before!) and refuses to disarm?  Is it recreational?  Or is it purely business; the Left put in a bid to dismantle the United States, the American people voted to accept it, and now it’s all, Hey, this ain’t fun for us either — we’re just doing our job.   I guess what I’m saying is, while I may not like that the Left is destroying the USA, I’m not about to go stand in front of some tank in Tianamen Square; but I sure would like to know the reason.

Then, as I sipped my Freedom Roast, I clicked on RenewAmerica, and it was suddenly as though my wish had been granted by a bitter and paranoid genie:

The reason the left must destroy the USA, by Sher Zieve

sherzieve.jpg

Sher, the Forgotten Stooge

In order for global (AKA “one world”) government (AKA “rule”) to come into being

AKA, “stuff that’s here”

…the United States of America must be destroyed.

Also Frankenstein.  We’ve really been putting that off.

FrankensteinMustBe.jpg

For many years now, I have included in my Bio “if Leftists ran the country (and left to their own inane devices), it would be the end of the United States as a sovereign nation.”

“All my friends thought for sure it was going to become a hilarious national catchphrase, like Don’t worry be happy, or Where’s the beef?, but so far none of the major fast food franchises will return my calls, and the baby tees and hoodies in my Cafe Press store are selling like pre-owned tampons.”

Unfortunately and tragically, I was — and still am — correct.

Well…You’re half right.

The United States Constitution is a document that was designed and implemented to severely restrict government interference and control over individual states and We-the-People.

“But due to a typo, it actually only restricts government interference over members of Up With People.”

Upwithpeople.jpg

Here we see sovereign minstrels exercising their Constitutionally protected rights to Hootenanny.

But the exciting news is, Sher got a peek at the plans for “the global secular New World Order (NWO)” that’s shortly going to replace nation states and We-the-People, and she’s gone spoiler crazy!

This NWO will consist of — but not be limited to — the following for the USA

  • Higher prices for all goods and services

For more information, ask your librarian for the following books: The Twenty Percent Mark-Up: A Generation of Treason, and Cost Plus DEATH:  Lenin, Trotsky and the Bolshevik Thirst for an Unreasonable Profit Margin.

  • Total government control of the media (See Rosa Brooks “news” bail out proposal)

Dancing with the Stars will be replaced with Taking Tiger Mountain by Strategy.
tigermountain.jpg

I’m actually sort of okay with this one.

  • The end of free speech (US state police have already been apprised by the Obama administration’s DHS Chief Napolitano that all who hold conservative or third party viewpoints are to be considered ‘enemies of the state’)

Conservatives and third party thinkers won’t be imprisoned or executed for their heretical beliefs, but the New World Order does plan to shun them.

  • Abortions on demand

Anytime!  Anyplace!  At the free clinic!  Jiffy Lube!  Baskin-Robbins!  (Note:  Abortions on Demand may be ordered through your TV only if your cable box supports On Demand technology.)

  • Infanticide for failed abortions

So wait — a doctor botches an abortion, and to punish him they go kill a baby?

  • Total government control of ALL industries Obama et al deem “essential” (which is subject to change at a moment’s notice)

You’re on notice, Christmas Tree Flockers, bakers of erotic novelty sheet cakes, and Amish guys who make that fake fireplace thing:  Obama decided you weren’t “essential” anymore, so you’re on your own!

  • The end to small business unless it supports the Left

Well, at least my cafe specializing in clove-flavored Victory Gin should be safe.

  • The criminalization of all political thought that is deemed non-supportive of the Left

This has long been a goal of the global left, but was considered impractical because it required reading minds.  That obstacle, however, was recently overcome when the NWO hired Santa Claus as a contractor.

  • The rescinding of Amendment 22 to end presidential term limits

Of course, repealing an amendment to the Constitution is a difficult and time-consuming process, and the NWO is a very busy Order.  So a decision was taken by the Inner Party to get a Mac and some OCR software and just rewrite the amendment when nobody was looking.  Of course, as the Obama birth certificate job proved, you have to take great care when producing forgeries nowadays, because any tiny flaw will be exposed by right wing bloggers; and as the evening wore on, and more Red Bulls and Twizzlers were consumed, the Inner Party got a little punchy.  At first, they just changed the Constitution around so it established a presidential speed limit; but by the end of the night the 22nd Amendment seemed to mandate a presidential sperm limit (he’s allowed two).

  • The prosecution of President George W. Bush for protecting the country against terrorists (in order to distract the masses from what Supreme Leader Obama and Co are really doing)

Robbing five Las Vegas casinos in one night!

  • The elevation of terrorists to a protected class (Islamists soon to be the global power elite’s Secret Police force?)

Oh, crap, I don’t know the answer — I’ll just have to guess.  Really glad this wasn’t a Daily Double.

These are just a few of the stark horrors that are forthcoming — or have already arrived at our doorstep. Without a real revolution can they be stopped? You will need to answer that question for yourself.

Damn!  I hate when these columns end like those mental hygiene films in junior high — with a big question mark.  I know it’s designed to stimulate discussion, but whenever we break up into smaller groups to debate whether we should take up arms against the elected government of the United States and wear our hair in a bowl cut as a badge of revolutionary honor,  I always wind up with the weird kid who smells like Beef-A-Roni.