(Updated below)
…bringing the inquisitive to World O’ Crap:

#1: “Nickelodeons out of control”

I’m glad to see that others are equally concerned about the dangers of recklessly exposing the American people to “moving pictures.” The flickering shadowplays of these rogue Phantascope parlors cannot help but erode the moral fiber of our honest yeomanry, what with their shocking images of “Man Sneezing” and “Train Pulling Into Station.”

If left unchecked, it is only a matter of time before the magic lantern industry, controlled by decadent New Jersey elitists, will sap America’s fighting will and embolden the Moro guerillas by displaying scenes of bloodshed from the Phillipine Insurrection.

#2: “Wonder Woman Chloroform Videos.”

‘Nuff said.

UPDATE: Seems we’ve been inundated by people who decided to spend their Sunday googling “Rod Majors” and/or “Corporal Sanchez,” and who were attracted, no doubt, by this post. Fine, no problem, live to serve.

But it did surprise me that World O’ Crap comes up first when you google “sticking head in vagina.” Now, we only received one such inquiry, but this is precisely the kind of thing that — to my mind — cries out for a response. So if you’ll forgive me, I’m going to step out from behind the curtain and address our Googler, man-to-man. Ahem…

Jonah. Look, I know you’re under a lot of pressure, what with all your groundbreaking, if extremely overdue, research for the book, and maybe we’ve all felt like this at one time or another. But believe me, man, this is not the solution! And while I don’t know her personally, it wouldn’t surprise me if you were really starting to get on Mommy’s nerves with this stuff.

For No Good Reason | 7 Comments »

The Republican crusade against “science” (the polite word for that black magic brewed in test tubes) has seen a few defections lately, but there are still some loyal Bushies who are kickin’ it old skool (a radio format otherwise known as Urban VIII Contemporary). One standout is Julie A. MacDonald, deputy assistant secretary for fish and wildlife and parks, who combines the smug ignorance of James “Gore is full of crap” Inhofe with the greasy-palmed cupidity of Joe L. Barton (R-SquealLikeAPigForChevron), yet gives it all a fresh twist by rolling like Congressman Mark Foley. First, the warm-up, courtesy of TPM Muckraker:

Ms. MacDonald, whose job is to oversee policy decisions on endangered species and other wildlife, sent internal agency documents to industry lobbyists (e.g. she twice sent “internal Environmental Protection Agency documents — one involving water quality management — to individuals whose e-mail addresses ended in ‘chevrontexaco.com,”) and generally ran roughshod over agency scientists.

MacDonald tangled with field personnel over designating habitat for the endangered Southwestern willow flycatcher, a bird whose range is from Arizona to New Mexico and Southern California. When scientists wrote that the bird had a “nesting range” of 2.1 miles, MacDonald told field personnel to change the number to 1.8 miles. Hall, a wildlife biologist who told the IG he had had a “running battle” with MacDonald, said she did not want the range to extend to California because her husband had a family ranch there.

But here’s where Old MacDonald shakes up the usual Bush Administration malfeasance with a youthquake!:

In this episode, MacDonald unwinds by sharing internal agency documents with a virtual friend and demonstrates that she trusts the feedback of her fellow gamer, who’s apparently quite young, and her child over agency scientists…MacDonald said she is acquainted with the on-line friend through internet role-playing games. She said she engages in these games to relieve the stress created by her job; however, she said she has not played while at work.

(more…)

My Country Right, Wrong or Decline to State | 13 Comments »