I’m pretty tired right now. I spent the day protecting Buster from The Wrath of Kittens, since he seems to have the instinctual drive to flush cats out in the open to for hunting — except, that I’m not hunting the cats, and the cats hate it, which they show by hissing, spitting, and trying to smack Buster in the face. (Little Bob got Buster on the nose, and Ziggy got him on the top of the head — and that was despite my best efforts.)
I also took Bob and Oliver to the vet’s today for their third round of kitten shots, went on a long walk with the dogs, shampooed the carpets after the dogs brought back several pounds of mud from their walk, wrote a letter to the local paper advocating dog fostering, and read about 3000 tributes to Gerald Ford.
So, it’s probably not surprising that I read this Newsmax email subject line as “O’Reilly Blowhard Offal.”
But here’s the actual text:
O’Reilly Blowout Offer
Incredible Offer!
Culture Warrior: List Price: $26.00
Sale Price: $12.95
You know, It’s usually a bad sign when one’s book goes into the remainder bins a scant two months after being released. But making this even worse is that NewsMax isn’t even trying to lure its readers (rubes and fools though they may be) into purchasing a subscription to The NewsMax Wingnut Magazine by offering them cheap copies of the latest rightwing polemic. No, NewsMax is just trying to unload as many copies as possible of a book that nobody is buying.
But here’s what NewsMax had to say about the offer (I added a few explanatory notes, so you could better appreciate this incredible deal).
With three straight #1 best seller and more than 4 million copies of his books in print [and in landfalls all over the nation], the most powerful traditional force [i.e., the biggest bully] in the American media now takes off his gloves [and his clothes, then takes his falafel in hand, and prepares for a nice, hot, steamy shower] in the ongoing struggle for America’s heart and soul [and bucks]. Bill O’Reilly is the very embodiment of the idea of a Culture Warrior [and the very model of a modern major asshole] — and in this book he lives up to the title brilliantly, with all the brashness and forthrightness [because warring with brashness and forthrightness on the cultural front is a lot less dangerous than warring with guns and hand grenades on the Iraq front] at his command .
Save $13 with NewsMax’s After-Christmas Blowout Sale! Go Here Now!
Or don’t. We won’t tell on you if you have something more pressing to do.