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Archive for December 12th, 2006

When Is A Crappy Comic Strip Not A Crappy Comic Strip?

Posted by scott on December 12th, 2006

When it’s a cry for help:

 Today’s Bruce Tinsley news…

Today’s Mallard Fillmore:

Uncategorized | 26 Comments »

WND REVEALS! Soy Is Secret Homosexual Sauce!

Posted by scott on December 12th, 2006

Jessica tipped us off to this “WorldNetDaily Exclusive Commentary: A devil food is turning our kids into homosexuals.”  Written by Jim Rutz, this shocking exposé of souls in bondage to the soybean pulls no punches:

There’s a slow poison out there that’s severely damaging our children and threatening to tear apart our culture. The ironic part is, it’s a “health food,” one of our most popular.

The dangerous food I’m speaking of is soy. Soybean products are feminizing, and they’re all over the place. You can hardly escape them anymore.

It’s like the flouride in our water, sapping our precious bodily essence!  (“I do not avoid the company of women, Mandrake, but I deny them my soy sauce.”)

I have nothing against an occasional soy snack. Soy is nutritious and contains lots of good things. Unfortunately, when you eat or drink a lot of soy stuff, you’re also getting substantial quantities of estrogens.

Estrogens are female hormones. If you’re a woman, you’re flooding your system with a substance it can’t handle in surplus. If you’re a man, you’re suppressing your masculinity and stimulating your “female side,” physically and mentally.

This is a very real threat!  It’s also pretty much the plot of Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde.

In fetal development, the default is being female. All humans (even in old age) tend toward femininity.

That’s why George H.W. Bush broke into sobs at that tribute to Jeb.  Some wag told him he was the winning contestant on Queen for a Day.

The main thing that keeps men from diverging into the female pattern is testosterone, and testosterone is suppressed by an excess of estrogen.

Well, if we’re going to be consistent and take the conservative — even Stosselian — view of science, we must conclude that if testosterone can pwned that easily by girl stuff, then it’s a weak, unworthy hormone which deserves to be exploited by more successful organic chemicals.

If you’re a grownup, you’re already developed, and you’re able to fight off some of the damaging effects of soy. Babies aren’t so fortunate. Research is now showing that when you feed your baby soy formula, you’re giving him or her the equivalent of five birth control pills a day. A baby’s endocrine system just can’t cope with that kind of massive assault, so some damage is inevitable. At the extreme, the damage can be fatal.

Um…what research, exactly?  A citation would be nice here, since he’s basically accused bean curd of infanticide.  Seems odd that a scientist of his caliber would fail to observe the most basic protocols of–

Oops.  Sorry.  Just jumped to the end and met our author:

James Rutz is chairman of Megashift Ministries and founder-chairman of Open Church Ministries. He is the author of “MEGASHIFT: Igniting Spiritual Power,” and, most recently, “The Meaning of Life.”

Which explains this:

Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That’s why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today’s rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!) Homosexuals often argue that their homosexuality is inborn because “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t homosexual.” No, homosexuality is always deviant. But now many of them can truthfully say that they can’t remember a time when excess estrogen wasn’t influencing them.

Well, at least he’s not blaming Hollywood for his shrinking wang.

Doctors used to hope soy would reduce hot flashes, prevent cancer and heart disease, and save millions in the Third World from starvation. That was before they knew much about long-term soy use. Now we know it’s a classic example of a cure that’s worse than the disease.

A slight case of man-boobs is worse than starvation?  How will we break the news to Hugh Hewitt?

For example, if your baby gets colic from cow’s milk, do you switch him to soy milk? Don’t even think about it. His phytoestrogen level will jump to 20 times normal. If he is a she, brace yourself for watching her reach menarche as young as seven, robbing her of years of childhood. If he is a boy, it’s far worse: He may not reach puberty till much later than normal.

Mr. Rutz is still waiting for his testes to drop, and he only used a splash of soy sauce that one time at Benihana!

Research in 2000 showed that a soy-based diet at any age can lead to a weak thyroid, which commonly produces heart problems and excess fat. Could this explain the dramatic increase in obesity today?

It certainly explains why the Japanese are such a fat-assed, lethargic nation of Nero Wolfes.

Recent research on rats shows testicular atrophy, infertility and uterus hypertrophy (enlargement) … Worse, there’s now scientific evidence that estrogen ingredients in soy products may be boosting the rapidly rising incidence of leukemia in children. In the latest year we have numbers for, new cases in the U.S. jumped 27 percent. In one year!

And it can’t possibly have any connection to a weakening of EPA standards, an increased reluctance to crack down on industrial polluters, or the infiltration of our water sources by man-made chemicals which mimic hormones?  Nah.  It’s the baby-killing bean curd.

Anyway, this sounds like a serious situation!  Maybe I should check out some of these scientific findings myself.  Which is going to be a trifle challenging, since Mr. Rutz didn’t tell me what research he was referring to, or who performed it, or when.  Oh well, guess I’ll just have to spin the ol’ Wheel of Google…

Ah, here’s a story that seems germane:  Penn researchers take a long-term look at the safety of soy-based infant formula.

To understand whether hormone-like chemicals in soy products may influence sexual development in children, researchers at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine have revisited a study on soy-based infant formula begun over thirty years ago.

Their results, published in this week’s Journal of the American Medical Association, reaffirm the safety of soy infant formula and offer evidence against the harmful effects of soy that have been presented in the popular media. According to their findings, soy formula does not appear to lead to any more health or reproductive problems than cow milk formula.

Hm. So this was actually debunked back in 2001.  Well, to be fair, I don’t think WND qualifies as “popular media,” so there’s no reason they shouldn’t still be allowed to play with some of John Stossel’s old hand-me-downs.  Tis, after all, the season of giving.  And if there’s one thing the average WND reader wants under his tree this year, it’s some alarmist anti-scientific claptrap served up by the chairman of a megachurch that grants him license to eat another Western Bacon Double Cheeseburger from Carl’s Jr.

UPDATE: While I’m ashamed to say that Mr. Rutz is new to me, apparently he’s an old friend of Sadly, No!, who have reported extensively on his previous careers as a Witchfinder General, and the scourge of demons in rural Guatamala, crusades Rutz apparently pursued with an unflagging vigor before realizing it was probably safer to fight soybeans.

Teh GAYZ! | 23 Comments »